“What do we do?” Kelly whispered.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back. “But we stay together. The three of us. No matter what.”
Kelly nodded.
He fell asleep before I did, his hand still on Joe’s chest.
I was about to follow when Joe’s heartbeat started tripping and stuttering. He made a wounded noise that sounded broken. I pressed Kelly’s hand down harder against his chest and put my mouth near his ear.
I said, “You’re here. We’re with you. You’re safe. You’re home. We won’t let anything happen to you again. We’re your big brothers. We’ll protect you. We’ll always be here for you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Joe’s heart slowed.
The lines on his forehead disappeared.
His mouth untwisted.
He sighed and turned his face toward me.
I watched him for a long time.
IT WENT LIKE THIS:
Boxes.
All these boxes.
As I stood among them, I heard voices coming from up the stairs.
And it was then I learned the sins of my father.
“Are you sure?” Mark asked Dad.
“Yes.”
“Have you…. Did you call Gordo?”
Dad sighed. “No.”
“He won’t like it that we’re coming back.”
“It’s not his territory,” Dad growled. Then, “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s too late for what you should or shouldn’t have done,” Mark said, sounding angrier than I’d ever heard him. “You really think that he’s going to welcome us back with open arms? That you won’t have to face him? Green Creek is small, Thomas. You’re going to run into him sooner rather than later.”
“What do you want me to do?” Dad said, and sweat trickled down the back of my neck. “Tell me. Please. Just tell me what to do. Tell me what’s right. What should I have done? What should I do now? Should I have done more to save Dad? Should I have been able to stop the hunters from destroying our pack? Or perhaps I should have been able to keep Robert Livingstone from murdering all those people. I’m sorry, Mark. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. All the mistakes I’ve made. Please. Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what I should do so that my child doesn’t scream himself awake because a man I once trusted shattered him into pieces before I could find him. You should have been my second. Not Richard. I should’ve never listened to Dad when he said that—”
“Fuck you,” Mark said coldly. “I never gave a shit about that, and you know it. We’re broken, Thomas. We’re broken, and I don’t know how to fix us. I followed you even when every part of me was screaming to let you go without me. I left my heart behind because you said it was for the greater good. And for what? What has it gotten us? What kind of Alpha are you that you can’t—”
“Enough.”
It rattled the walls.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t breathe.
But Mark wasn’t finished. “What are you doing? Do you even know? You’re spiraling, Thomas. People are talking. They think that you’re not going to come back.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you’ll be coming alone.”
“Fine. Then I will. Michelle is more than adequate. She’ll do well in my stead until I can figure things out again.” He sighed. “I need to put my children first. I need to put Joe first.”
Mark laughed bitterly. “Oh, if only Dad could hear you now. What was it he always said? For an Alpha, the needs of many outweigh the needs of a few. Pack and pack and pack.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“And what about Richard? It’s not over.”
“I know that too.”
“Do you? What happens if he comes again?”
“I’ll tear his head from his shoulders,” my father snarled, Alpha filling his voice. “Let him come. It’ll be the last thing he ever does.”
“We can’t keep doing this,” Mark said, and he was pleading with my father. He was begging him. “We can’t go on this way. We’re destroying ourselves, and I don’t know how to stop it. I love you, but I hate you too for all that you’ve done.”
My father didn’t respond.
They were silent. I could imagine them on the other side of the wall, facing each other, arms crossed, never meeting each other’s gazes. Two stone statues, carved and unmoving.
I was surprised when my father spoke first. “The family. In the blue house.”
“What about them?”
“The boy.”
And Mark said, “Ox.”
“Yes. You said… you met him. And his mother.”
“In the diner. It was his birthday. He was… I don’t know. There’s something different about him. I don’t know how to explain it. It was like being struck by lightning. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”
“Magic, maybe. A witch?”
“No. I’ve never heard of Matheson witches.”
“We’ll have to be careful. Having them so close…. It could be dangerous.”
“Then you shouldn’t have sold the house.”
I heard my father move.
Mark said, “Don’t. Don’t touch me.”
Dad said, “When you were little, I used to carry you on my shoulders. Do you remember?”
“No.”
“Lie. You would put your hands in my hair and tug until it hurt, but I never stopped you.”
“Get off me, get off me, get off—”
“I never wanted this to happen,” my father whispered, voice muffled. “Any of this. I wasn’t ready. For all that it would entail. Being an Alpha, it’s….”
“Hard,” Mark said begrudgingly.
“Yeah. It is. And I’m not a very good one. It should have been you.”
Mark sounded like he was choking. “Stop. Please. Stop.”
“I know you hate me,” Dad said. “And you have every right. But I did what I thought was good for all of us. I thought Gordo would—”
“Don’t. You don’t get to say his name.”
“I thought he would be better off without us. That he would get to live a life free of—”
“You abandoned him!” Mark cried. “You didn’t give him a choice! Get the fuck off me, you bastard. How dare you. I know what you did. I know you thought Livingstone did something to him, I know you thought it was in his tattoos, so don’t you dare try and spin this away.”
“How did you—did Lizzie say something to you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Mark retorted. “This isn’t about her or anyone else. This is about you. This is all on you. You always say we’re pack, but I don’t think you have a goddamn clue what that actually means. Fuck you. Fuck the Alpha of all.” He sucked in a sharp breath. Then, “Maybe it’s time for the reign of the Bennetts to end.”
“You can’t mean that—”
“I do. I mean every word. Let Michelle stay in charge. Let Osmond be her lapdog. You say you want to put Joe and Kelly and Carter first, then this is how you do it. Joe’s broken, Thomas. He’s broken. And believe me, I know what that feels like. You didn’t lift a fucking finger to help me. Don’t do the same to him.”