“Why is Carter worried?” Joe asked when she went back inside, leaving me on the porch. “Kelly’s with Dad.”
“Because it’s a big day,” Mom said as I paced back and forth.
They were gone for hours. By the time they came back, I was about to crawl out of my skin.
Kelly was grinning.
I ran down the porch and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Did you do it?” I demanded. “Did you figure it out?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. But it’s a secret.”
I scowled at him. “I told you mine!”
He laughed at me.
Dad was watching the two of us. He looked like he was going to say something but shook his head instead. “Who’s hungry?”
But before he could follow us into the house, a man appeared. I didn’t like him. He made my skin itch.
“Osmond,” Dad said.
Osmond glanced dismissively at us before looking back at Dad. “We need to speak.”
“Can it wait until tomorrow? We’re about to have dinner.”
“It needs to be now.”
Dad sighed. “All right.” He looked at us. “Go inside. I’ll be back shortly.”
I watched them walk away.
“Let’s go!” Kelly said from the porch.
That night there was a knock at my door. It opened slightly, and Kelly stuck his head in. “Stop jerking off.”
“Fuck you,” I whispered, loud enough so he could hear but not so loud that Mom or Dad could.
He snickered and stepped into my room, then closed the door behind him. He came to the bed, motioning for me to scoot over.
“You have your own bed,” I grumbled.
“Yeah, yeah, move your fat ass.”
I hit him in the face with a pillow.
He laughed before lying down next to me, stretching out his arms and legs. I heard his back pop before he relaxed, leg over mine.
I waited.
He said, “It’s you.”
I could barely breathe. “What is?”
“You know what.”
I did, and I wanted to howl and shake the house to its foundations. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, dude. I’m sure.”
“Oh.” Then, “Why?”
He turned his head to look at me. His eyes glittered in the dark. He said, “Why am I your tether?”
“Because you’re my brother.”
“So is Joe.”
“You were here first.”
He huffed out a breath. “I’ve known. For a long time.”
“But you never said anything.”
He shrugged. “I thought it was obvious.”
It made me nervous. Nothing so monumental had ever made me feel so small. “Tethers can change.”
“It won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
He said, “I do. It doesn’t matter what happens. If I get a mate—”
“Ew.”
“Shut up. You know what I mean.”
“That’s pretty gay, dude.”
He thumped me on the chest. “Don’t say that. It’s not nice.”
“Right. Sorry. I….” I was at a loss for words.
“Is that okay?” he asked quietly. He sounded unsure.
I couldn’t have that. “Yeah. It’s okay.”
We were quiet for a little while, just breathing in and out.
Then he said, “Tether bros. That’s what we are. Couple of tether bros.”
And it was like we were little again, only the two of us, and we were laughing, laughing, laughing, trying to keep our voices down but failing miserably. Dad walked by the door and paused, and we covered each other’s mouths with our hands. His breath was hot against my palm and it was gross, but I didn’t pull away.
Dad moved on.
Eventually we got ourselves under control.
I was drifting off to sleep when Kelly said, “It was always going to be you.”
IT WENT LIKE THIS:
“Joe!” I screamed into the woods. It was raining and dark, and lightning flashed overhead. “Joe!”
I couldn’t find him.
“Carter?” Kelly asked. He was wet and miserable, and his grip on my hand was so strong I thought my bones would turn to dust. “We have to go back.”
“No,” I snapped at him, feeling guilty when his face crumpled. “We can’t. We have to find him.”
I was fifteen years old, and a monster had taken our little brother away.
“Joe!” I shouted again.
Nothing.
“Joe!” Kelly yelled. “Where are you, Joe!”
I wanted to shift so I could smell him, but Mom and Dad said I couldn’t shift without them there. I had my tether, and he had me, but it still wasn’t safe. There were all sorts of things in the woods.
But Joe was gone, and no one knew where he was. It’d only been three days, but I had failed him. Mom and Dad said I had to protect him, and I failed.
We went deeper into the woods.
Dad found us eventually.
“What are you doing?” he roared at us. His eyes were red.
We cowered. I shoved Kelly behind me as he whimpered.
Our father fell to his knees. He held out his arms.
We ran to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding us tightly. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t find you, and I was frightened. I didn’t mean to be so loud. I didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing out here? You’re supposed to be in bed.”
“We gotta find Joe,” Kelly said.
“Oh,” my father said. “Oh, oh, oh.”
That was the second time I ever saw my father cry.
IT WENT LIKE THIS:
Joe came back.
But he wasn’t the same.
He looked like the same Joe. He had all his fingers and toes. He had all his teeth. His nose was still there, and his knees were still knobby.
But there was nothing behind his eyes.
They were dark, as if a light had gone out.
I took him everywhere.
I carried him in the house.
I carried him in the woods.
I carried him around the lake.
Dad said, “Here, Carter, let me have him.”
He reared back when I snarled at him, eyes flashing, fangs dropping.
“Don’t,” I snapped at him. “Don’t, don’t, don’t.”
My father stepped back slowly.
I carried him away.
I said, “Hey, Joe. Look at the birds.”
I said, “Hey, Joe. Look at that bug.”
I said, “Hey, Joe. Are you hungry?”
I said, “Hey, Joe. Wanna hear a joke?”
I said, “Hey, Joe. Can you please say my name?”
But Joe never spoke.
“He’s been scooped out,” Kelly told me as Joe lay between us. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing deeply.
“Shut up,” I hissed at him, and I felt a twist of remorse when he flinched. “It’s not—he could hear you.”
“Sorry,” Kelly muttered, but before he could turn away, I grabbed his hand over Joe, laying it on Joe’s chest above his heart. I pressed down. I could feel the beat through Kelly’s hand. It was slow and steady.