My bitter laugh interrupted him. “You keep making these little comments. Alluding to Dean Heathcliff being the sole reason that we’re no longer best friends. Shifter up and own your fuckups, Jax! You treated me like shit. You hurt and ignored and bullied me. Dean, the evil fuck, wasn’t important to me. You were. And you let me down.”
His curse was loud enough to echo through the forest and slam back into us. “I was a damn kid! My father is a brutal, unforgiving sort of man. I did the best I could. If I was tormenting you, then he wouldn’t be, and trust me, his hit is a lot fucking harder than mine.”
My next lament died on my tongue. I’d heard lots of rumors about how Dean treated his family, but this was the first time Jaxson had put it so bluntly. Still, it had been too many years. Too many hurts. My pain was buried deep.
“You should have come up with a better way,” I said softly, my voice vibrating with the hurt that was always lingering below the surface. “We could have done it together. If I’d known what was happening to you, I would have tried to understand. You cut me out in all ways, and I can’t forgive you.”
I turned to walk away since I had a long hike back without my wolf’s speed.
“Mera!” Jaxson called, and I paused but didn’t turn. “Let’s go back to what we used to be, please. I know you’re hurt, but you have a forgiving heart.”
His words burned like acid in my soul. “Sorry, Jax.” I still didn’t turn. “You don’t know me as well as you think. I’m not really the forgive-and-forget type.”
Not anymore.
This time when I walked away, he didn’t stop me.
3
The wolf mixer was in full swing by the time I made it to my apartment, got dressed in the only half-decent outfit I had, and returned to the pack lands. Torin’s house was filled with alphas from many of the other packs, as well as a decent selection of single shifters who were all hoping to find a true mate tonight.
If only they knew.
Despite my reluctance in having anything to do with being alpha-mate, Torin had assigned me more than a few tasks in relation to this little soirée. Most of them involved liaising with other packs’ alpha-mates in regards to the guest list, décor, and food. I’d ignored every request to assist, of course, and I had no idea who’d stepped in to take up the slack. Probably Sisily. I sensed she was still fucking my mate—oh, sorry, taking care of his needs because his mate was neglecting him, and I really wasn’t mad about it.
As long as someone kept him busy, it didn’t have to be me.
My silver sequined dress swished around my boring silver heels as I descended the stairs into the ballroom. It was awash in soft lighting, with strands of fairy lights above and candles on the ground level. Everything was tastefully done, with gold and silver as the main theme.
Heavy gold curtains were pulled back on the multi-pane windows, showcasing spectacular views of the pack lands, along with an outdoor area for more of the packs to mingle in. We would literally have so many here tonight—the meeting of the decade—that not all of them would fit inside our massive ballroom.
“Mera,” Torin said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a perfectly fitted black tux. He ran a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head as his awestruck gaze lifted to meet mine. “You look absolutely stunning.”
I forced a smile, glancing down at my outfit. The dress had been my mother’s; it had sat unused in her wardrobe after my dad had been killed, since she’d had no more balls or mixers to go to. It was modestly cut, with a skinny-strapped top that fell into a slinky silver length, trailing longer behind than at the front. Not really my style, but for this, it worked.
“Thank you,” I told him, wishing he would stop looking at me the way he was. Despite the connection I felt between us, his heated stare made my skin crawl.
“Are you ready?” he asked, holding his hand out to me.
I didn’t want to take it, but Jaxson’s words reverberated through my mind, and even worse, the beta himself was across the room watching me with the same laser focus as Torin. They both needed me to act the part tonight, present a strong, united front, and I was going to give it at least a thirty percent try.
“Touch me anywhere except my hand,” I muttered to Torin from beneath a fake smile, “and I will make you wish you could reject me again.”
He grimaced, swallowing hard, but didn’t argue as he took my hand into his much larger one. I forced my smile to remain in place, even as a vision of ripping my shoe off and stabbing him through the chest with the stiletto heel flickered briefly through my mind.
No doubt I needed anger management help, but if that was the case, there was only one pack to blame for that. They were finally reaping what they’d sowed.
When we stepped out onto the main floor, lots of faces turned our way, nodding respectfully, but it wasn’t crowded yet, allowing us to walk uninterrupted. Which, unfortunately, gave Torin time to talk to me.
“At what point are you going to let go of your virgin status?” he asked bluntly—and kind of rudely, since this wasn’t really the time or place for a damn sex talk.
But hey, I wasn’t shy, and if he wanted to hash it out tonight, then he was about to get some real talk. “I’ll never give my body to a shifter until I think they’re worthy of it,” I said just as bluntly as the alpha. He opened his mouth, and I cut him off. “That doesn’t mean I hold myself above anyone else, because I don’t. What it does mean is I have a hand and a vibrator, and if getting off was my sole aim, it’s more than covered. With sex… I want a bond and a connection. I want mutual fucking respect. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
His head jerked as he took a quick, frantic look around in the worry other shifters had heard my words. Apparently, this was personal business he wanted kept secret, and yet he was the one who’d brought it up here.
Dickhead.
“You always have to fight everything,” Torin finally said when he was satisfied that no one had overheard. “Even when we were children, you could never just let it be. Always picking at issues. Digging deeper. Sticking your nose where it didn’t belong, which is clearly a family trait. It got your father into trouble, and I just don’t want to see you going down the same path. We’re mated. That’s not changing. I just need to feel a deeper connection with you.”
Translation: My “dick” needs a deeper connection with you. Eye fucking roll.
More important than his poor “neglected” penis was the mention of my father. Lockhart Callahan had destroyed my entire life when he’d attacked Alpha Victor, a crime he’d been executed for. But at least his punishment had been over immediately, unlike my mother’s and mine.
“Tell me what caused my father to attack Victor,” I said suddenly.
For years, I’d never questioned that day—I’d asked Jaxson and Torin one time when I’d been younger, and they’d deterred me from ever trying again by leaving me locked in a prison cell for two days. I’d nearly died from dehydration since I hadn’t had my wolf to call back then.
My hatred for the pair should come as no surprise to either of them.