She went inside but watched through the window as, for the next twenty minutes, Fitz removed the large branch. Cut it up into a neat pile in the corner of the yard. Then tacked up the broken piece of fence so that it stayed put. She’d need some new boards to replace a few broken ones, but Fitz’s improvisation would work fine for a week or so. She felt a lot better when he finished up, like her world wasn’t falling apart.
Fitz carried the tools around the house to the shed in the backyard and then came to her back door. Since she’d been watching him, she opened it before he had to knock.
“Thank you so much,” she told him, smiling with genuine affection. “It looks great. I really appreciate it.”
He smiled back at her, his eyes warm and watchful. “You’re welcome. I’ll come over the day after tomorrow with the stuff I need to fix it up right.”
“Here. I’ll give you some money so—”
“Oh no. Don’t you dare offer to pay me.”
“But you—”
“I did it because I wanted to. It wasn’t a job.”
There was no arguing with that look in his eyes. “Okay. Thank you. Can I at least give you some hot chocolate and cookies? Or I could make you something if you haven’t—”
“I ate something earlier, but I wouldn’t say no to hot chocolate and cookies.” He glanced behind her. “But I don’t want to interrupt your Christmas Eve.”
She snorted and stepped out of the way, feeling excited for the first time all week. “What exactly would you be interrupting? My time alone in front of the TV?”
His eyes widened as he let his jacket slide off his shoulders. He was wearing a worn pine-green sweater beneath it with his old gray pants. “Are you on your own tonight?”
“Of course I am. Ria and Jacob are with their new baby, and I don’t have any other family.” Belinda suddenly felt nervous in addition to the bubbling elation. Was she really alone with Fitz in her kitchen at almost ten o’clock at night? She distracted herself by stirring up the hot chocolate for him.
“I guess I thought you might be...” He trailed off, looking suddenly confused as he leaned against one of the counters. “Don’t you have something going with Charles Kensington?”
That surprised her enough to divert her from her nerves. “No! I don’t have something going with him. Why would you think that?”
“Wasn’t that what your whole makeover thing was for? Because you were into him?” His expression was strange. Like he was trying to act with his normal leisurely nonchalance, but real urgency was practically jumping out of his skin.
“I’m not into him,” she replied with a little sniff, stirring the hot chocolate more vigorously than was required. “I barely know him.”
“Aren’t you going out with him now?”
“No! Did someone say we were?”
“Nobody did. I just assumed... Did you change your mind about him?” His voice had grown almost thick.
It made Belinda want to shiver, so she resolutely avoided his gaze. “I haven’t changed my mind about anything. He seems like a perfectly nice guy. But I can hardly start dating someone who hasn’t even asked me out.”
“He hasn’t asked you out? Why not?”
The astonishment in his voice was strangely comforting. Belinda found enough courage to turn back around and meet his eyes. “I have no idea. I have to assume he’s not interested in me, so my whole makeover thing, as you so eloquently put it, was a total waste.”
“You never needed it, but if you liked how you looked, then why would it be a waste?”
Belinda thought about that. Then she gave a firm nod. “You’re right. It wasn’t a waste. I actually feel strange with a lot of makeup on and with some of the stylish clothes. But I guess it’s nice to feel a little bit pretty. Sometimes.” She lowered her eyes as she felt her cheeks warm.
“You’re a lot pretty,” he murmured, sticking his hands in his pockets with an odd, abrupt move. “All the time.”
She’d darted up a quick glance. Saw something deep and tender and shocking in his expression. She was hot and breathless as she held the mug of hot chocolate with both hands so she wouldn’t slop it from trembling too much.
The silence stretched out a little too long. She had no idea what Fitz was thinking, and she was too scared to check his expression again.
Finally he asked softly, “Is that hot chocolate for me?”
“Oh. Yes.” She blinked and swallowed and smiled sheepishly as she handed it to him. “Sorry. Here you go. And I’ve got a plate of cookies in the other room if you want any. Not to brag, but they’re pretty darn good.”
“I’m sure they are. I’ll have to try them out.” He was chuckling as he carried his mug into the living room.
Belinda followed him, relieved (and maybe a little disappointed) that the delicious tension from the moment before had dissipated.
“How did you even happen to see the fallen tree branch?” she asked as she took her place on the couch.
Fitz stood undecided for a few seconds, glancing between the other side of the couch and the chair across the room.
Belinda wasn’t sure what it said about her, but she didn’t want him all the way across the room. She gestured toward the couch. “The cookies are here, if you want them.”
He relaxed and sat down on the other end of the couch. Then reached over and took his time in choosing his first cookie. As he did, he answered her earlier question, “I’d stayed for a while talking to folks at church and was just walking back home when I happened to see it. I knew it would bother you, so I thought I’d check.”
“Why did you walk in weather like this? Is something wrong with your car?”
“No. It’s fine. I like to walk. It takes up more time and sometimes I see people to say hi to.”
“Do you get lonely?” she asked, thinking about what he said and what it might mean. He liked to walk because it took up more time. He wouldn’t be back at home so quickly.
“Everyone does sometimes,” he said lightly.
He was putting her off. Not really answering. She said, “It’s Christmas Eve. Being alone is a little harder on nights like this.”
He nodded, chewing slowly on his soft ginger cookie. “Yeah.” Then he frowned and added, “Why are you alone tonight? You’ve got tons of friends and people who love you.”
“I know I do. Ria wanted me to come over, but I didn’t want to... to get in the way of their family time.” She sighed and swirled the last bit of her hot chocolate in her mug. It was cool now, and she didn’t really want to finish it. “Ria’s got a new family now.”
“You’re still her family, Belinda.”
Her eyes burned for just a minute. “I know. But it’s not the same. I guess I’ve just been... missing my parents. It’s been years since they died, and it hasn’t bothered me like this for a long time. But there’s something about losing people suddenly like that. It’s such a shock that it doesn’t hit you all at once. You haven’t had time to process it and adapt. And so it’s like it’s happening over and over again. For a really long time.” She couldn’t quite keep the tears back, so she used her fingertips to wipe a couple away.