“I am home. This is my home now.”
“I know after what happened, you needed to get away. But it’s been seven years now since... since everything. Your family wouldn’t have wanted this.”
Fitz’s throat hurt. So did his chest. “No. they would have wanted me to head up the company and keep multiplying the family fortune. But that’s not the life I want anymore. I know you don’t understand, but I’ve made my decision and I’m not going back. If you don’t want to manage the foundation, I can find someone else—”
“Of course I’m still going to manage it. Your dad was my best friend. But he’d want his son to be happy. So would your mom and sister.”
All three of them had died. His father, mother, and sister—as well as his sister’s boyfriend. In that private plane crash seven years ago. Fitz had been the only one not on the plane that day because he’d been buried in work and had backed out on the trip at the last minute.
“I am happy,” Fitz told Hal on the phone. “As happy as I’m going to get.”
“I did want to mention...”
“What?”
“I’m planning to retire next year. Near the end of the year probably.”
Fitz licked his lips, processing that piece of information. “I’m sorry the foundation will lose you, but you’ve put in a lot of years. You deserve to take it easy for a while.”
“That’s my plan. But I’ll need someone to take over for me.”
“Yes. Maybe you can help with the transition. I’m sure we can hire someone else to—”
“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to.”
Fitz grew still. Said nothing.
“I know you didn’t want to seven years ago, but a lot of time has gone by.”
“I told you I like it here.”
“You could stay there. You could do all the work from Virginia. You wouldn’t need to work from an office or keep a regular schedule or change your whole world. It’s your family’s money. Don’t you want to see the good it does in the world?”
Fitz’s throat ached. So did his chest. He cleared his throat. “I don’t think so, Hal. I told you I didn’t want anything to do with it.”
“Yeah. I guess I was hoping that might have changed now that more time’s gone by. I know you’re afraid to live life again, but—”
“I’m not afraid. It’s just not what I want.”
Fitz was pretty sure Hal didn’t believe his abrupt declaration, but the other man didn’t argue at least. He shifted the topic. “And you really don’t want to do anything with that house in Azalea you had us buy and restore? I’ve got the renters in there now, but we could—”
“No. It’s good. Let them rent it as long as they want. There’s nothing we need to do with the house now. It belonged to a friend of mine. I just wanted to make sure it didn’t get torn down. I keep thinking he might want to buy it back one day, and I want to make sure it’s there for him if he does.”
Hal paused for several seconds. “That sounds almost sentimental. Are you finding your heart again?”
“It has nothing to do with my heart,” Fitz lied. “It’s just a thing I could do for a guy who’s done a lot to help me out. I know you feel responsible for me because you were friends with my dad, but you really don’t have to worry. I’m doing fine. I’m perfectly content. And this is the life I want now. Not my old one.”
“Okay,” Hal replied. “Do you have plans for the holidays? Because you could always—”
“I’m good. I never do much.”
“You shouldn’t spend Christmas alone. Don’t you have friends there?”
“I do. They have families. The Presbyterian church here has a Christmas Eve service. I see folks there, and I always see people around on the day. I’ve had six Christmases here already. I’m telling you. I’m good.”
“Okay.” Hal didn’t sound convinced, but at least he didn’t argue. “Just let me know if there’s anything else you want me or the foundation to do.”
“I will. Take care, Hal.”
Fitz hung up, feeling kind of shaky. He didn’t like to think of who he used to be—overworked, overstressed scion to a fortune. Son. Brother. He’d even had a girlfriend back then and had been thinking about taking the next step toward marriage.
He’d left all of it behind him when he moved to Azalea. It had felt like he was running from a tidal wave. He’d had to move fast enough and go far enough so all of what he’d left behind wouldn’t come crashing down on his head.
And now it was almost Christmas. He’d forgotten it was coming up. Normally it wouldn’t bother him, but he felt bleak and lonely this evening. He’d come to a conclusion he hated. He needed to give up even the most ephemeral hope of Belinda. Break the almost invisible threads that had tied him to her.
The only way to do that would be to avoid her for a while. Maybe that would be enough to slice through those threads of attachment.
He hadn’t realized how much those threads had shaped his world. Because Christmas—and all the long years that would follow it—now seemed utterly empty without her.
Four
BELINDA WAITED FOR the next three weeks to see if Charles would ask her out on a date.
He didn’t.
It was a little disappointing because every time they ran into each other naturally, he came over to talk with her, lingered in the conversation, and appeared to watch her admiringly. But he never asked her out. She wasn’t particularly surprised since that had been her experience with every other man she’d had interest in before.
And the truth was Belinda had a number of other things going on that distracted her from brooding too much about Charles.
For one thing, Ria and Jacob had their baby. The boy was more than a week late, and Ria’s labor was long and painful and stressful. But both Ria and little Luke were healthy and happy and back at home now just in time for Christmas.
The holidays were another thing dragging Belinda down. She tried to get into the spirit, decorating her house and even putting lights up outside, which she didn’t always do. She got a real Christmas tree instead of the small artificial one she usually used, and she baked cookies and wrapped presents and did her best to feel merry and bright.
She missed her parents though. Somehow more this year than usual. And Jacob and Ria were so busy and exhausted from the new baby that she couldn’t even spend as much time as usual with her sister. Everyone else had their own families and plans and activities.
Even Fitz had evidently forgotten she existed.
He hadn’t really spoken to her since the chili dinner at her place. She told herself it wasn’t personal, but it felt that way. She was so used to him always being around, making annoying comments and generally getting in her way. But he hadn’t done so for the past few weeks. Sometimes she’d see him in Anna’s or the flower shop, and he wouldn’t even glance her way.
It wasn’t as if she liked him. Or wanted him always invading her personal space.
Why did she miss him so much now that he’d backed off?