Smiling foolishly, he carefully picked up each item and admired it before sliding it back into its slot in the pouch.
Maybe she’d been partly teasing in giving this to him, but it was still a thoughtful, intentional, and personal gift. She’d had to care about him at least a little to take the time to pick this out and spend this much money on him.
He was still smiling as he lay back on the bed. He needed to thank her, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to text her right now. While she was on her date.
She might misunderstand his intentions.
Hopefully she wasn’t having too good a time.
No, that was wrong. He couldn’t be selfish that way. Belinda liked Charles, and if Fitz cared about her, then he should hope it was going well. She deserved to be happy, and Fitz himself could never make her happy.
His smile had turned into brooding when there was an unexpected knock on the door.
It was the evening of Christmas day. Who the hell was paying him a visit? No one ever came by his place.
Since there was no other way to figure out who it was, Fitz hauled himself up and swung open the door.
Belinda.
Still dressed in her black leggings and soft, touchable Christmas top. Her cheeks were red from the cold. Her dark eyes were big and questioning.
“Is everything all right?” he asked, feeling immediately urgent since he couldn’t imagine anything other than an emergency would bring her to his door right now.
Belinda lifted a small box that he just now realized she was holding. It was the Christmas gift he’d left on her doormat. It had been unwrapped and opened.
Inside was a delicate antique enamel pendant of cherry blossoms on a gold chain. It had belonged to his grandmother and was one of the few things he’d taken with him from his family.
He wasn’t sure why he’d given it to Belinda this year. Maybe because part of him knew the time was coming soon when he’d have to give her up. He’d wanted her to have it—one tiny part of him and his family—before she was lost to him for good.
Her big eyes were moving from the pendant to his face and back again. Bewildered. Emotional. Wary. “Why... why did you give me this?”
He swallowed hard and forced himself to sound light and casual. “I thought it was nice. Don’t you like it?”
“Of course I like it! It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. But why... why...?” The hand that was holding the box was shaking.
His heart was hammering now. She’d obviously recognized the significance of the gift even though she didn’t understand the motivation. Everything was hanging in the balance in that moment. He needed to either convince her the gift was no big deal or else admit everything.
Everything.
He couldn’t do that. His whole world would change—the tidal wave would come crashing down on him—and he wasn’t equipped for that to happen. So he used every acting skill he possessed to drawl, “You gave me a gift. A much more expensive one. Why shouldn’t I give you a little trinket too?”
She sucked in a breath and stared down at the open box. “So... so it wasn’t expensive?”
“No,” he lied. He in truth had no idea how much the pendant was worth now, but it was sure to be a lot. “Where would I get money to buy an expensive gift? I just saw it at the flea market a few weeks ago and thought of you. If you don’t like it, I can take—”
“No!” she burst out when he reached for the box. She drew the present toward her chest protectively. “I love it. I just wasn’t sure... So it wasn’t expensive or anything?” She still looked confused but a little more relaxed.
His nonchalant act had clearly relieved her. “Of course not. I just thought it was nice.”
“It is nice. It’s perfect.” She used one finger to stroke the enamel petals. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”
“You’re welcome.” His voice sounded too gravelly. He cleared his throat before he added, “And thank you for thinking of me too. I wasn’t expecting a gift from you even if it was kind of a bossy gesture.”
She laughed softly, her eyes warming and a smile breaking on her face like the sun. “It wasn’t bossy. It was helpful.”
He rubbed his newly trimmed beard, hoping he wasn’t gazing down at her too sappily. “But, as always, I defied your attempts to supervise me by beating you to the punch.”
Her mouth wobbled in amusement. “I can’t believe you did that.” Her eyes dropped before she gave him a tantalizing upward glance. “You do look good. All trimmed up like that.”
His heart was pounding like a jackhammer now. His skin was getting hot. “Thanks. I can’t believe I managed to impress you with such a little thing.”
“I didn’t say I was impressed. Meeting the minimum bar in grooming isn’t all that impressive.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Then he realized they were still standing in his doorway, and it was almost nine o’clock in the evening of Christmas. “Your date didn’t last very long.”
She glanced away. “It wasn’t really a date.”
“It wasn’t? So it wasn’t what you were hoping?”
“I wasn’t hoping for anything.” Her chin went upward in a familiar defiant glare. “He asked me to drive around and look at some lights, so I agreed. It wasn’t like I was expecting to be swept off my feet.”
“So you weren’t?”
She frowned, obviously trying to follow the line of questioning. “Weren’t what?”
“Swept off your feet?”
“Why would it matter to you if I was?”
The question was too direct. Too close to the truth. He almost, almost told her. But some long-held lifeline of self-defense tightened at the last moment. So instead he said, “I thought it might matter to you.”
For some reason his response seemed to take the air out of her. She drooped and dropped her head. “I don’t know. I thought... I don’t even know anymore. It was fine. He’s a nice guy. I like him just fine. It just feels like I should...”
“You should like him more than you do?”
“Yeah.” She glanced up and shook her head. “That’s the problem with having so little experience with relationships. You don’t know how you should feel at any given time.”
“It seems to me like you should be excited about a relationship if it’s going to go anywhere.”
“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. But I just feel...” She gave a shrug and shifted from foot to foot.
“You feel what?”
“Kind of sick,” she whispered. “That’s not good, is it?”
He laughed, knowing he shouldn’t be so thrilled by her admission but unable to stop himself. “No. I wouldn’t think that bodes well for a long-term future.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
They stared at each other across the threshold until Belinda suddenly took a step back, as if she’d realized she was still standing at his door. “Anyway,” she said, lowering her eyes again in that delectable way. “Thank you for the necklace. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I ran across it. Thank you for my gift too.”