Maybe I’d made a mistake in wanting to be treated like an adult.
“Take a break,” Martina said. “Go talk to him.”
I nodded and looked toward Eoin. “Wait for me at the table out front. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I waited until he went through the door before letting myself take a few seconds to at least attempt to prepare myself.
“He’s not gonna try something stupid, is he?” Martina asked with a frown. “He’s a big guy. Maybe I should–”
“He won’t hurt me,” I told her. “And you’re right, I need to talk to him.”
Even though I firmly believed what I said, a part of me still hoped that he’d be gone and I could just avoid the whole unpleasant ordeal. It was weak and cowardly of me, but the way my stomach was twisting and roiling, I couldn’t help feeling that way.
When I came out, he was leaning against the wall. Though he immediately straightened, he didn’t try to come closer. I sat in one of the chairs and gestured for him to join me. It wasn’t until he settled across from me that I realized how drawn his face was. Concern drove away my reluctance.
“Are you okay?”
“That’s not an easy question to answer,” he said with a wry smile. “And before I try to start, I need to apologize. Again. I shouldn’t have ghosted you. Even if I left to avoid a confrontation with your sister, I should have called and talked to you about what happened.”
That seemed like a good place to begin, and as I owed him an apology as well, I seized the opportunity.
“I have to apologize to you too,” I said, feeling the blush rising in my cheeks. “Even if I hadn’t been thinking clearly enough the first night we slept together to tell you that I was a virgin, I should’ve told you the second night. Like how you’d been honest about the fact that we hadn’t used a condom. Heat of the moment is only an excuse once.”
He scratched at the stubble on his jawline. “We’ve really fucked things up, haven’t we?”
I could’ve answered that question several different ways, but it was the flash of pain in his eyes that made me decide what I would say.
“Maybe we need to stop trying to do this the way everyone else does and just…go with what feels natural.”
Surprise, then happiness, lit up his face. “Really?”
The unease I’d felt vanished, replaced with a mixture of relief and anticipation. “Yes, really.”
Two women glanced our way before entering the boutique.
“I need to get back, but I meant what I said.”
“Then can I take you to dinner when you get off work?”
I studied his face for several moments. “If you’ll answer a couple questions for me.”
“All right.”
“How did you find me?”
His smile held the sort of confidence that bordered on cockiness. “It’s what I do. I find people. And it’s not the first time I’ve had to find you.”
I had to laugh at that, even though my next question was the more serious of the two burning inside me.
“Did my family hire you to find me?”
His smile softened. “No, it’s all me. But I did know that you weren’t at your parents’ house.”
“Because you went there first?” I almost wanted to ask him what they’d said, how they’d explained my absence, but another part of me didn’t want to know.
He shook his head. “No, actually, that’d be your sister. She, uh, came to the agency, and well, she yelled at Cain and me, said that it was my fault you left.”
I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t you. But I don’t want to talk about Freedom or what happened when I left. Not now, anyway.”
“All right.”
I had one more thing I needed to know. “Are you going to tell them where I am? I mean, if Freedom comes back. I know you won’t go to them, but if Freedom comes to you and asks, will you tell her?”
“No.” He reached out and lightly touched my arm. “I won’t share anything unless you specifically tell me to.”
“Good answer.” I smiled, pleasure and relief and something much sexier surging through me. “You can pick me up here at six.”
Five
Eoin
I’d honestly been prepared for Aline to tell me to fuck off. I hadn’t handled anything with her well from the moment we’d met. I hadn’t hurt her physically, and I had saved her life, but I’d fucked up the rest of it. Badly. But Israel had been right. Sort of. I didn’t think I loved her, but now I was starting to think that I could. Someday. Maybe even someday soon.
All I knew for sure was I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try. Not only because I needed to honor Leo and the other men who died by living life, but because I could see a future now. A real one.
A good one.
With her.
I’d make this work, starting with dinner. Which was harder than it sounded. I couldn’t just pick some random L.A. restaurant since I had no idea if the food would be shit, and the only one I knew of was where we’d had our first date. The place had been great, and we didn’t exactly have bad memories of the place, but I didn’t want to do anything that felt like going back over what we’d already done. We could go back there some other time, but tonight, we needed a fresh start. A real one.
Instead of asking Bruce for another suggestion, I did some web surfing and came up with The Mar Vista. Nice, but not the sort of place that had a tie and jacket requirement. Somewhere Aline wouldn’t mind coming to straight from work, but special enough for this to be an official date and not just two friends picking up fast food or takeout.
On the way to the restaurant, we talked about why she’d left her parents’ house, with her giving me the whole story and me telling her what Freedom had said to Cain and me. It wasn’t the sort of polite small talk that people usually had on early dates, but we’d agreed to stop using other people’s standards and expectations to tell us how we should act.
After we’d ordered our meals, she flipped the conversation around.
“Now you know what I’ve been doing since we last saw each other. What about you?”
Immediately, my mind went to Nana Naz, and then I realized that I could talk to Aline about what’d happened. I’d told her about Leo so I didn’t need to go through all of that, and she could be objective because she didn’t know Israel or Nana Naz.
“My friend,” I began, “the one who…we promised each other that we’d look after each other’s families if one of us made it back and the other didn’t. His grandma, Nana Naz, ended up in the hospital on Friday.”
“Oh no.”
The concern on Aline’s face warmed me without making me feel like she was pitying me.
“She’s okay,” I reassured her. “But it freaked Israel – Leo’s dad – out enough for him to call me. She got dizzy and then passed out, so he called 911. Her blood pressure dropped suddenly. Turns out she was dehydrated and had low blood sugar. She had to stay overnight for some tests, but she went back home yesterday afternoon. She has to monitor what she eats and how much water she drinks now, but she’ll be okay. Scared the shit out of me and Israel, though.”