Dammit. He did know me. The hand not holding the phone flexed, curled into a fist.
“You wouldn’t want me moping and brooding, sitting on my ass – sorry, Nana Naz – if our positions were reversed. Enjoy Evanne and the mass quantities of other siblings when the rest of the Grace bunch start popping them out. Find a woman who’ll take pity on your sorry a-butt and have a couple kids of your own. Name them after me. All of them. Girls and boys. Foreman did, right?”
Israel laughed quietly.
“I mean it, Eoin. You give my dad a daughter-in-law and some grandkids for me. When you finally get out of the army, use that brain and talent of yours to make a difference in this world. You’re destined for great things, brother. Don’t forget it.”
Leo ended the video by repeating that he loved all of us, and then that was it. It ended with him smiling that same smile he got from Israel. It hurt, seeing him, but I couldn’t look away.
I was still staring at the screen when someone came into the room.
“Excuse me.”
I looked up to see a nurse standing on the other side of the bed. She wore an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry, but it’s past visiting hours.” She glanced at Israel. “We can only let immediate family stay overnight.”
“He is family,” Israel said. “He’s my son.”
My chest tightened with more emotion than I knew how to handle.
“Of course.” She turned to me. “Stay as long as you want.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak. I’d stay until Israel and Nana Naz were okay with me leaving, and then I’d honor my friend – my brother – by doing as he asked. I’d live.
And I knew exactly where I needed to start.
Four
Aline
I couldn’t exactly say that my life had been better over the last couple days, but it hadn’t been worse either. Definitely different, but if I was honest, I hadn’t had a ‘normal’ day since before Freedom and I had gone to Iran. Before the trip, I’d hoped that I’d come home a different person, a person with a wider worldview, a new take on my life, but I hadn’t expected any of this.
It was…weird.
Once I’d told Martina the whole sordid story, including why I’d walked out, she’d immediately said that I could stay with her as long as I needed to, and that she’d help me with whatever I decided to do next. I still wasn’t entirely sure what that was going to be, but knowing that she would give me time let me relax more than I had since I’d woken up to Freedom moaning in pain because of her appendix.
I had a list of things that I needed to do, but the problem was, two of the major life decisions depended on the other, and I was unsure which I wanted to make first. Where I was going to work and where I was going to live. As much as I hated to admit it, I had been thinking along the lines of being wherever Freedom was just because that was how things had always been.
While I did think that my family didn’t give me nearly enough credit for being able to take care of myself, I had to assume at least some of the blame as I’d not done much to prove otherwise. The majority of my life, there’d been little I’d wanted to do differently, and I hadn’t foreseen the precedent I’d been setting by going along with so much.
I still wanted to teach. That hadn’t changed. And I still liked the idea of working in lower-income schools. What I didn’t know, exactly, was where I wanted to live.
L.A. had its appeal since I was familiar with the city, and Martina was here. My parents were here too, just in case, even if I did loathe the idea of having to go to them if I wasn’t as competent as I believed myself to be.
Stanford was also familiar, but I didn’t know if that was where Freedom would be, and the idea of being near her was more distasteful than being near my parents. At some point, I would need to address the issue because I didn’t think that this was worth completely writing off my family, but I wasn’t ready to forgive them yet, and I didn’t know when I would be.
Maybe what I needed to do was not factor my family into any decision-making. Was that how normal people did it? I didn’t know. I’d never been ‘normal,’ and I’d never felt it as deeply as I did right now.
When people heard that I’d skipped grades and graduated college so young, they were always impressed, complimentary, but most people didn’t realize that there were negatives to living life and growing at a different pace. Like being a minor in college who didn’t have the same sort of break that other graduates had when they went to college. With me, because of Freedom, it hadn’t even happened after I’d turned eighteen.
“Aline, can you get some more lip gloss samples from the back?”
Martina’s question pulled me out of my head, and I nodded before heading to the storage room. I’d be forever indebted to her for everything she’d done for me, including this job. After we’d talked on Friday, she’d told me that the boutique where she worked was looking for some holiday help. I didn’t need the money, but I also didn’t have a job history or anything specific to do to distract me, so I’d happily accepted.
Or, at least, accepted with a somewhat positive outlook.
I’d never really given much thought to working retail since I hadn’t needed a job during school, and my field wasn’t business or anything like that, so post-college employment had never been a concern. Elementary school teachers weren’t unicorn-rare or a dime a dozen, but since I’d already completed my master’s degree, I’d known I’d be going into the job market with an advantage.
But here I was, working in a store less than a month before Christmas. It wasn’t too bad. Then again, it wasn’t as busy as a typical store must’ve been around this time. Not a lot of need to push and shove to get the last custom-made bustier.
Silverton Designs had few things available for walk-ins. Most of the clientele set up appointments to have personally tailored clothes made and then have their hair and makeup done by professionals while they waited. Definitely not the sort of place that ended up on the news on Black Friday because three aggressive soccer moms got into a fistfight over the latest electronic wonder.
I was still smiling at the mental image when I arrived at the front counter with a handful of the samples, but it only lasted as long as it took me to recognize the man standing just off to the side.
“Eoin?” My hands were shaking as I put the lip gloss in the right box, but I was unsure if it was from anger or something else.
“Aline.” He took a step forward.
I looked at Martina. “Tell him to go away.”
She leaned close enough that I could hear her despite how low she’d pitched her voice. Her tone was gentle but firm. “Sorry, but you need to handle this yourself. I’ll have your back, and if he tries anything, he’ll regret it, but if he’s just here to talk, then you need to talk to him.”
I sighed. She was right. I wanted my family to treat me like an adult, which meant I needed to be one. Eoin wasn’t violent, and he wouldn’t try to intimidate me, so it wasn’t as if I needed assistance because I was frightened of him. I just didn’t want to deal with the conversation he clearly wanted to have, but adults had to do a lot of things they didn’t want to do.