I sit up straighter after I have the gut-wrenching thought. Had I just admitted, if only to myself, that I am in love with Payden Hardick?
“Lobsters are sooo juicy. I looove it,” Missy coos at Payden, slurping up her food with ridiculous emphasis for the millionth time.
And, like every time before, Payden simply freezes and turns a darker shade of red than he had the last time. Soon he is going to be redder than Missy’s lipstick.
I would be glad that she keeps making him so uncomfortable, if he didn’t seemed to be quite so interested in everything else she is saying in between. He’s listening – actually listening to her prattle on about this and that.
I’d thought, at first, that he was just being polite. Payden is an incredibly polite guy, after all. But she’d made him laugh a couple of times – real laughter – and he’d even taken a bite of her breaded asparagus when she held it out to him on her fork.
I laugh along with them through everything, but the asparagus feeding was entirely too far. My hands clenched so tightly that I had to sit on them for a while.
It’s not that Payden is ignoring me. He isn’t. He’s made several friendly comments, asked several friendly questions, and has been acting almost exactly like he would if we weren’t on a double date.
That’s what is bothering me. As awkward as Payden Hardick is, he is still managing to be charming and talkative around two complete strangers. One of whom is my date.
Does that not upset him at all?
Brandt continues on, for better or worse, being extremely attentive to me. As the minutes pass and my jealousy grows, I began returning his attentiveness with entirely more fervor than I feel. When I feel a gentle hand placed above my knee – not so high as to be crude, but high enough to make his feelings obvious – I realize that I’m putting on way too good of a show.
Not only does Brandt now like me and think that I am available, but he is beginning to assume that I like him as well.
I am about two seconds away from pushing his hand off (gently) when I see Payden rest his stupidly well-muscled arm on the back of Missy’s chair. Whether he means for it to be “a move” or he simply wants to rest his damn arm on something, good ol’ Miss immediately interprets it as a signal to cuddle into him and rest her drunk head on his shoulder.
He doesn’t flinch. Just lets her stay there like there’s no problem at all.
I turn toward Brandt and carefully wipe a delicate finger across his chin. “Sorry. You had something there.”
He squeezes my thigh and probably hardens like cement.
When my eyes turn back to Payden, he doesn’t appear to have even noticed the chin wiping. He is staring at Missy while she describes her Goldendoodle, who lives with her parents fulltime until she completes vet school.
Her dog.
She’s talking about her dog, and Payden seems fascinated, resting his chiseled stupid chin on his giant strong fist and grinning.
Crème Brûlée for dessert, which normally would have been highly enjoyable, but not when Missy insists on feeding it, bite by bite, to Payden.
Payden does love Crème Brûlée. God, how I hate Missy.
“Want me to feed you?” Brandt whispers out of nowhere. His lips are obnoxiously close to my ear, but this time I glimpse that Payden is watching.
I smile seductively and get spoon-fed like a fucking infant. I don’t even bother looking back at Payden, I just gaze all starry-eyed at Brandt, who puffs up his chest like he’s just won a chariot race or something.
His eyes aren’t so bad. Green. Kinda cool little streaks of yellow shooting across the irises.
But they aren’t blue.
They aren’t Payden’s.
“How about we split for the second half of the date? We’ll do our thing, you guys do yours?” Brandt suggested, attempting to sound innocent and sounding anything but.
Payden’s smile disappears in a flash… so does mine.
No. No. No. No way on the goddamn planet am I letting him go off with that girl alone. Absolutely not.
“I think that’s a great idea!” Missy agrees in her stupid squealy voice.
I open my mouth to protest but then I realized that Payden isn’t protesting. I can tell he isn’t thrilled with the idea, which is comforting, but he isn’t trying to stop the situation from happening, either.
“Jess? Whacha think?” Brandt’s hopeful voice rings in my ear like a damn church bell.
I think I never realized what my worst nightmare was until this exact moment.
Payden looks at me, his expression unreadable and he still won’t say a word.
“Great idea, Brandt. In fact, I’m totally full. Let’s go now and let these two enjoy the rest of their dessert.” I can’t believe the words coming out of my own mouth.
Brandt gives me a pleased smile, Missy flashes a look of psychotic joy, and Payden...
Payden continues to stare at me, his face blank.
Maybe it does bother him. Maybe it bothers him a lot.
But he says nothing. Does nothing.
I’m done with waiting for “nothing” to turn into “something.”
Done.
5
Payden
“So. We’re alone now. What should we do with the privacy, Payden?” Missy slides a hand up along my pants until she hits the big guy, and then squeezes.
Nightmare. I’m in a nightmare.
I feel like someone dropped a bucket of leeches over my head, except really there is just one. Just Missy. And she’s made it clear, several times over, that she’s not opposed to sucking.
She won’t be quiet. She won’t stop touching me. She very obviously wants me to screw her brains out, and all that should be fine. Hell, that’s most guys’ dream come true. She is definitely hot, granted, she is overselling it big time. A girl this good looking really shouldn’t have to push herself onto anyone... and the fact that she is trying so hard is raising some huge red flags. But I don’t give a shit about those flags, because outside of her being a human and me wanting to deposit her safely back at the Timms’ house, I don’t give a shit about Missy either.
I thought I did pretty well for myself – put on quite the show for Jessie. I’d definitely stepped way outside of my comfort zone to do so, but at the time, the effort had seemed worth it.
Now, with Jessie and Brandt gone off to do God knows what - God knows where, I feel like a stupid asshole for pretending to like Missy. It was a jerk move to mislead this girl, and now she’s about two seconds away from humping my damn leg.
I don’t exactly know how to backtrack out of this one, but I probably deserve the dilemma for faking shit to begin with. I’d just thought that maybe, if Jessie could see me with another girl...
I want her to tell me how she feels and stop leaving me in the goddamn dark.
I kissed the living hell out of her face on the rooftop in Denver. She has to know that I want her. Why can’t she just admit the same to me?
Because maybe she has nothing to admit, dumbass.
Jessie had stared at Brandt like he was a fucking Greek god or Romeo in the flesh. What am I supposed to do with that?
She likes the dude, and he doesn’t seem like a bad guy, so who am I to barge into the middle of that? I feel like the world’s biggest idiot. Thinking she had dressed up for me – the idea of that is totally laughable at this point.