I wrinkle my nose. “Yuck. Who would think to put those two things together?”
“An evil genius, that’s who,” Drew says, taking out his wallet. “I mean, I like hamburgers and I like doughnuts. Put them together and it can only increase the deliciousness.”
“You can’t be serious,” Olivia says as he takes out his wallet.
“As a heart attack,” he replies.
She crosses her arms. “A heart attack is what you’ll get if you keep eating junk.”
“Who are you, the food police?” Drew walks up to the booth, leaving her staring after him.
Olivia huffs out a breath, but a minute later she joins him at the window.
“You want something?” Ben asks me, in that slightly bored tone I’ve noticed creeping into his voice more and more when we’re together.
I shake my head. I had some fries when we first got here and I don’t want to eat too much, in case they decide they want to go on some rides later. I’ve made that mistake before and it didn’t end well.
A family is clearing off a picnic table nearby. Ben and I pounce, before anyone else can grab it. We sit on opposite sides of the table and he drums his fingers against the wooden top.
“I can’t believe you’re going to be gone for an entire month,” he says, his eyes following a girl in a blue sundress as she walks by.
I clench my teeth. I’ve asked him at least a thousand times not to ogle other girls in front of me—super disrespectful—but it’s like his eyes are magnets, drawn to every female in the vicinity.
I cross my arms. I can’t wait to get out of here. Mostly because I’m excited to be going to Italy, but also because I need some time away from Ben. Being his girlfriend has chipped away at me. As it turns out, Alistair was right—Ben hasn’t really upgraded from his middle-school self. The bully that I was so sure he’d left behind is still there, under the surface.
I’ve thought a lot about breaking up with him. The problem is, the second I dump Ben, I know I’ll be banished back to the fringes. After the way I treated Alistair and Marisol, I don’t expect them to welcome me back with open arms. I’ll spend my senior year lonely and friendless. And while that may be no less than I deserve, I’m not quite brave enough to try. Crappy friends are better than no friends.
Drew carries two paper plates over to the table, Olivia following behind him holding a blue drink served in a giant light bulb. He sets one of the doughnut-hamburgers in front of Ben.
“It’s called a Luther burger,” he says, plunking down beside Ben. “Named after the old-timey soul singer who invented it.”
“Well, thank you, Luther.” Ben picks up his burger and takes a bite. His eyes drift shut and he makes a happy grunting noise as he chews.
I hate that happy grunting chewing noise.
Olivia sits down beside me. “You’ll never believe who was behind us in line,” she says, smiling coyly across the table at Ben.
“Who?”
“Amy.”
Ben starts to choke on his burger. He coughs, his face red. Drew thumps him on the back.
Olivia’s smile widens. “So, you do remember her. She wasn’t sure you would. You were pretty drunk that night.”
“Who’s Amy?” I ask.
“Just some girl,” Ben replies, avoiding my eyes.
“Some girl that Ben hooked up with and then totally ghosted,” Olivia says, shaking her head. “Oh, but don’t worry, Em. She was B.E.”
B.E. stands for “before Emelia.” Shorthand for anything—or anyone—that happened before Ben and I got together.
And as it turns out, there’s a lot that happened before we got together.
I know Ben has been with other people, but I’m not into hearing all the gory details. Unfortunately for me, Olivia is all about the gory details.
Ben slumps down in his seat, but there’s really nowhere to hide. “Did she see me?”
“Uh, yeah,” Drew says. “But I wouldn’t worry about her coming over here. She didn’t seem too anxious to reconnect.”
Olivia fiddles with the straw in her light bulb drink. “You should have at least texted the poor girl back.”
“Yeah, well. Lesson learned.” Ben frowns and sets his hamburger down. He wipes his sticky, glaze-covered fingers on a napkin.
I’m not surprised that he ghosted her. Ben doesn’t like to talk feelings, and he doesn’t deal well with confrontation—character traits that we have in common. I know that what he did was inexcusable, but I can’t help feeling some sympathy for him. After all, I basically did the same thing with Alistair and Marisol.
So maybe we deserve each other.
CHAPTER
5
After Drew finishes his burger, he decides he wants a deep-fried Mars bar. Olivia rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything. We hold the table while Drew and Ben wander off to find the booth.
Olivia immediately pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through Instagram, dutifully ignoring me. Our boyfriends are best friends, so we’re thrown together a lot, and we make the best of it. Or I try to, anyway. Olivia mostly ignores me, especially if we’re left alone together.
I think about what a great friend Marisol was and I feel sick. I can’t believe I traded her in for Olivia Brandt.
I sigh as I watch people passing by. When there’s a break in the crowd, I notice a playing card on the ground, over by the recycling bin. Without thinking, I slide off the bench and bend down to pick it up. I flip the card over, revealing a black-and-white fool’s cap set on top of a grinning skull. The joker.
I can’t believe it. I haven’t found a joker in ages. Although maybe the reason I haven’t found one lately is because I stopped looking for them.
“Ew,” Olivia says, wrinkling her nose. “Why are you picking up garbage?”
“It’s not garbage.” I tuck the card into the back pocket of my shorts. I should just throw it out, but I know that I won’t. It’s a throwback to my old life and it means something to me. I don’t trust her to understand.
“It’s all bent and dirty and it was left on the ground.” Olivia’s looking at me like I’ve morphed into a wild animal or something. “That’s the very definition of garbage.”
I laugh, hoping she doesn’t think that I’m totally weird, but that train left the station a long time ago. She shakes her head and turns back to her phone.
I’m so tired of having to act cool just to fit in. I can’t wait to be on the plane to Italy, where I won’t have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing for an entire month. Of course, once my vacation ends, I’ll end up where I started—back here with Ben and his terrible friends.
Maybe I’ll just stay in Italy forever.
Ben and Drew finally return. Drew pushes up the brim of his trucker hat and says, “There’s no line at the Scrambler,” through a mouthful of Mars bar. “Let’s go.”
“Seriously? You just ate,” Olivia says. “You’re going to puke.”
“I’m willing to take that risk.” He grabs her hand and pulls her off the bench.
Ben holds his hand out to me. My stomach lurches at the thought of the Spider’s metal octopus arms spinning the seats through the air, but I weave my fingers through his and we follow after Drew and Olivia. As we’re walking through the night market, I spot Alistair and Marisol coming toward us.