“All right, Liv,” Dad says. “We better head back, it’s going to be a long drive. We talked things out with Roger, so if you feel safe, we’ll hit the road.”
Roger’s eyes glint with concern. I’d overheard Dad on the phone with him a week ago, and they talked about my violent night terrors and the five years I’ve spent seeing a psychologist regularly. I don’t blame Roger for being nervous about looking after me for an entire summer.
“We can stay if you want us to, Livvie,” Mom says. “We could Airbnb a cottage. And remember, it’s never too late to go home.”
“No, it’s okay, Mom. You should go—Dad’s right, it’s a long drive. I’m fine, and I can handle this.”
But I’m still not a hundred percent sure I can. On the cliff down by the beach, the lighthouse is blood red against the ocean backdrop.
Since Caldwell was founded in the 1800s, fourteen documented deaths have occurred on that cliff. It’s because of the unique shape: a semicircle eroded in the rocks. When the waves are heavy, they swirl to create a vortex.
I know what it feels like to be swallowed by it: freezing and violent.
Mom touches my arm. “You’re right, you can do this. I have faith in you. And I trust you and Keely to stay safe.”
“Of course we will.”
After smothering me with hugs, my parents drive away. Roger and Keely smile warmly, disintegrating my doubts. After all, it was Roger Myers who pulled me out of the water all those years ago. Miles told me that after I fell, he’d been frozen. Bawling, he screamed for help until police lights flashed up the street and Roger hurried out of his cruiser. Even with the dangerous rapids, Roger dove into the ocean without hesitation and managed to save my life without getting hurt.
I wish I knew what it felt like to be carried to land, but the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital is the feeling of water in my lungs, and the eerie calm that fell over me. Not even two weeks later, my parents packed up and moved me away.
Roger places his hand on my shoulder. I’m as close with him as I can be with my best friend’s dad, but to me, he’ll always be a hero.
Downtown is only a short drive away, but every street brings back memories. The wheel of Roger’s SUV clunks in the same pothole that’s always been there, and we pass the old fire hydrant painted to look like an otter. The fish ’n’ chips shop shaped like a pirate ship still hasn’t repaired its electric sign, and the ropes lining the sidewalks are frayed and thinning. But not everything lines up with my memory. That burger shop used to be my parents’ store. That tree in the park was just a sapling. Most of all, the way I feel is so different, it’s hard to believe I ever lived here at all.
Roger parks outside of Coffee Cabin. “All right, Olivia, I’ll put your suitcases in the guest room. And Lemon”—he looks at Keely with “cop eyes”—“you be responsible tonight, okay?”
“Yes, Dad. I know.”
We get out of the car and watch Roger disappear around the corner.
“What does he mean be responsible?” I ask. “I thought we were getting iced capps and going to your place.”
“Are you kidding? It’s your first night back, Liv. As if I’m boring enough to not have plans for you.” Keely unzips her yellow backpack. Inside is a huge bottle of Smirnoff vodka.
“Wait, your dad lets you drink?”
“No, obviously not. But he trusts me. I’m his Lemon. Don’t worry, he won’t blame you if we get caught. Now c’mon—I told Miles to meet us, so he should be here any minute.”
Oh man. Miles. I’m not the headstrong girl I used to be. Will he even like me now?
The warm interior of Coffee Cabin hasn’t changed a bit, and the smell of espresso roasts in the air. After we order our drinks, we grab a booth by the window. Keely tugs at the bracelet around her wrist; hers is yellow and purple while mine is green and blue, but it’s around my ankle. We made them with Mom’s kit last summer as we’d sat cross-legged on my living room rug.
“Nervous to see Miles?” Keely asks wickedly.
“What? No.”
“Yeah, right. Still think you two are going to get married?”
“Oh my God, Keely. Stop. Don’t say anything like that to him, please. I never said Miles and I would get married, everyone else did.”
“Oh, chill out. You know I’m not that much of a bitch.”
The door dings, and a guy in a seafoam-green T-shirt and tan shorts walks in.
“Olivia?”
“Miles?”
I stand, but stop myself from saying something stupid. Miles Hendricks used to be shorter than me. Not anymore, but he still has the same pale skin kissed red from the sun and sandy blond curls.
“Miles, you’re so . . . different!”
“So are you.” He flicks a strand of my hair, just like he used to when we were kids. A string of shark teeth hangs around his neck, and his dimples pronounce when he smiles. Of course I’ve seen pictures of him, but he looks better in person. Keely scooches over in the booth so Miles can sit across from me.
“All right, Miles,” Keely says, “I’ve got the booze. Can we hang out at your place, or will your dad freak out?”
“Aren’t we going to Carter’s?”
A pause.
“Well . . . no,” Keely says. “I don’t know.”
“Why? What’s going on at Carter’s?” I ask.
“Houseboat party,” Miles says. “Everyone from our grade is going. It’ll be the perfect time for you to like, re-meet everyone, Liv.”
“But, Miles.” Keely slaps his arm. “It’s on a boat.”
“Oh, right.”
I tug at the elastic on my wrist. Being the center of attention is the worst. And crapping all over Miles and Keely’s plans just because I’m scared of water would be so lame. I can’t be who I was in New York, not here.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m here to get over my fears, Keely. Not hide from them.”
“Wait, so you’re down for the party?” Keely says. “Oh my God, yes, seriously Liv, you’re going to love it.”
Will I, though? Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. Wanting to change the subject, I face Miles. “So, how’s your dad? Or Faye? And your brother?”
“Everyone’s fine. Faye has her Summer Intensive for ballet, so she won’t be around until tomorrow.”
“What about West? He seems to have dropped off the earth even more than I have.”