I lean my head back, practically falling into the feeling.
“Oh my goodness,” I say, letting out a long exhale. “That feels amazing.”
I close my eyes, letting Harry’s thumbs work out the kinks in my shoulders.
Maybe, with a few more minutes, he’ll be able to work out all the kinks in my life.
“It was torture in the last class, not being able to sit behind you,” Harry says, leaning in to whisper into my ear.
I glance over my shoulder at him.
And suddenly, my mood changes.
I shift from being upset to relaxed.
And it’s because of the gorgeous boy seated behind me.
“You’d better be careful,” I flirt, “or he’s going to make you move again.”
I raise my eyebrows at Harry, and he drops his hands, placing his palms on his desk.
“You’re right,” he says with a wink. “I’m better off saving this massage for a more private place.”
“I think you might be the biggest flirt I’ve ever met.” I grin at him.
“I can’t help it,” he says, smiling back at me. “You’re too much fun to flirt with. And you always have the best comebacks.” He leans in closer to me, his hand coming up onto my shoulder. “And the best reactions,” he adds suggestively.
I take his hand off of my shoulder and turn around fully. He bites his lip, looking at me, but I just shake my head.
“Seriously, I don’t want you to get into any more trouble because of me.”
“Mallory, you know, everything that happened with my dad, it wasn’t your fault.” His face tightens, his eyes growing serious.
“I know. I just … I don’t want to do anything to make things worse,” I admit, shrugging at him.
Harry speaks quieter, moving his head closer to me so no one hears us, “I know. But this, you, it helps.”
“Okay.”
I do my best to smile at him, but then Mr. Pritchard starts class.
Harry doesn’t touch me for the rest of class, but I can feel his presence behind me. My mind slips from Harry to what Noah said.
That I drive him crazy. And it makes me wonder, Do I drive Harry crazy too? Does Harry drive me crazy?
I let the thought simmer, but I think the answer is no.
Harry doesn’t drive me crazy.
He makes me excited. I have fun with him.
But I never feel out of control.
He makes me feel calm.
And happy.
When the bell goes off, I feel better. I was able to think things through while taking notes.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Harry says, raising his eyebrows at me as we walk out of class holding hands.
I give his hand a little squeeze and smile. “See you tonight.”
What does it matter?
4:00pm
I turn toward my locker, realizing I can put my textbooks away. All I have to work on tonight is my art project, and thankfully, it’s almost done.
The hallway starts to clear out as I grab my folder and put it into my bag.
“You’re dating?” Noah asks, suddenly at my side.
I look up at him, my eyes going wide.
“You’re dating?” he repeats, looking pissed.
“How did you find out?” I reply, biting my lip, afraid to say much else.
Because Noah is mad.
Like, really mad.
He’s looking around. Looking everywhere but at me.
“How did I find out? How did I find out?” He almost laughs. “Fucking hell, Mal.”
“Calm down,” I state, more to myself than to him.
Because. I. Am. Freaking. Out.
Noah’s eyes look wild.
“What does it matter anyway?” I try to put this back on him.
“What does it matter? I asked you at lunch today what was going on. And you lied to me,” he glares.
“I just didn’t think it was the right time to say anything.” I shrug, trying to play it cool. Because maybe if I relax, he will too.
“The right time to tell me,” Noah says, lowering his voice, “would have been the other morning.”
I slam my locker shut, wanting to be out of this hallway. Out of school. And out of this conversation.
“What? You mean, the morning when you were all like, I want you, Mallory,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“God, you don’t have to repeat it. Yes, that morning. Listen to me.” He grabs my arm, stopping me. “That morning never happened, do you hear me?”
I search his face because he has to be joking.
“Seriously?” I say, pulling away from him.
“It never happened,” Noah repeats. He shakes his head, unbuttoning the top of his shirt, like he needs to feel free.
He looks frustrated and uncomfortable.
“Of course it happened, Noah.”
“No, it didn’t. Because I thought things were over between you and Harry. That’s what you’d led me to believe.” He scowls at me. “But obviously, they aren’t. And that’s the end of it.”
Noah pushes his hand through his hair, looking like he’s made his mind up. And it makes me upset.
“You can’t just declare something is over,” I growl at him.
“I can,” Noah corrects, taking a step closer to me. “And I am. Everything I said, I take it all back. I retract my previous offer.”
His words hurt, and I physically have to take a step back to get away from him.
“And what if I want you?” I say, trying to argue with him.
Because he can’t just make a decision for me. Not that there’s even a decision to make.
“What?” he says, his cheeks flushing.
“Hypothetically, I mean. You can’t just decide things for me.”
Noah’s face falls at my words. “I can, Mallory. I’m not an option at all any longer. If you and Harry are together, great. If you aren’t, fine. But I will have nothing to do with it. Or with you.”
“Noah,” I say, his words taking the breath out of me.
I feel like I might fall over.
Like everything is crashing down on me. “I …” I start to speak, but tears well up in my eyes.
The idea that Noah would stop being my friend, the idea that I couldn’t talk to him, see him, it hurts too much.
I can’t not have him in my life.
I suck in a gasp, trying to wrap my head around what he just said.
“We can be friends,” Noah says, taking a step closer. He puts his hand on my arm, looking down at me.
For a moment, I think things might be okay.
But then he drops my arm. “I can’t believe you.”
“You can’t believe me?”
“You should have told me yesterday,” he says, pacing in front of me, his eyes glued to the ground.
“How am I supposed to know what you’re feeling?” I ask defensively. “You’re the hottest and coldest person I’ve ever met. One second, you hate me, and the next, you want me? How am I supposed to tell when you’re being serious and when you’re just messing with me?” I question, crossing my arms over my chest.
Noah narrows his eyes at me.
His normally brown eyes are glowing brighter now, his high cheekbones and strong jaw grabbing my attention.