All three of them look at me. Clem opens his mouth and closes it again and then looks at Lara, who frowns, and no one knows quite what to say. I think of Clem with his parents who look just like him, and Zin with her mum and her brood of brothers and sisters, and Lara with her parents and uncles who are all like fathers to her. I wonder if adoption is something they’ve ever really thought about. At all.
Clem swears softly and starts picking at his tie again.
‘What did it say?’ Lara asks.
‘I didn’t know you were adopted!’ Zin says.
I slap Clem’s hands away from his tie and he shakes his head. ‘How can you possibly have known Price for this long and not know that she’s adopted?’
‘It doesn’t come up much,’ I say. ‘It’s just not that big of a deal. Until now, I guess.’
‘It is a big deal!’ Zin says.
‘It’s not,’ Lara snaps.
‘I haven’t opened it yet,’ I say, pulling the letter out of my pocket.
Lara runs a finger over the envelope and glances at me. ‘What does your mum say?’
‘What does Taylor say?’ Zin asks. ‘Did she lose it? Did she break something?’
I squeeze the bridge of my nose. Zin has been morbidly fascinated with Taylor since we were in kindergarten and Taylor melted three of my plastic dolls. She was devastated when Taylor got kicked out of Sutherbend and had to go to Ascott. I think most other people just sort of breathed a sigh of relief.
Clem reaches up for his tie and then stops himself and sits on his hands.
‘I haven’t told anyone yet.’
Lara frowns. ‘Why?’
‘They’ve got . . .’ I think of Fairyland and swallow. ‘Just, they’re busy at the moment, that’s all.’
‘How are you feeling?’ Clem asks, his fingers working back up towards his tie.
‘I don’t know. Alright. Bloody hell, Clem. Just leave your tie alone.’
Clem takes the letter from my hands and gives it a squeeze. ‘One page, maybe two.’
I roll my eyes. ‘I know.’
He squeezes again, his head tilted. ‘There’s something else in there.’
‘What?’
‘Something crunchy.’
‘You’re imagining things,’ says Lara.
‘I’m not!’ He holds it out to me. ‘Go on – give it a squeeze.’
‘No.’ I cross my arms.
‘Go on! Squeeze it! Please?’
Zin snorts.
‘Grow up, Zinnia.’ Clem hands the letter to Lara, who inspects it closely and drops it into my lap.
‘There’s definitely something crunchy,’ she says.
I squeeze the letter and realise they’re right – there is something in there other than paper. My palms start to sweat. I put it down on the floor between us.
Clem tugs at my sleeve. ‘You okay?’
‘Fine.’
‘She has neat handwriting.’
‘Yeah, I know. I’ve been staring at it non-stop. Her writing’s burned into my brain.’
Clem stares at the letter. ‘So, are you going to open it? Or just wait for it to disintegrate so you don’t have to deal with it?’
I reach out and take Clem’s tie off him. ‘Stop picking at it!’
The bell rings, but they keep staring at me, and eventually I clear my throat and get up. Clem hands me the unopened letter without a word. ‘We’ll be late,’ I say.
***
That afternoon, we’re just heading into a talk on study methods when the school alarm goes off. Our school alarm goes off a lot. Particularly when there’s an exam or a test or something else that people aren’t interested in doing.
‘Ugh,’ says Lara, and we start trooping across the grounds to the oval, where we huddle in the sun and wait for the teachers to give us the all clear.
They look as bored as we are. I mean, it was exciting the first few times and it felt like a massive bonus to get out of whatever class we were meant to be in, but I’d honestly rather be taking notes in front of a portable fan right now.
I take a hat around school with me in summer because there’s nothing worse than the sun baking down on your uncovered head on the oval while the teachers wearily try to confirm that there’s no bomb. Lara, Zin and Clem all tease me about the hat, but I never stop wearing it.
Zin’s somehow got a box of still-warm chips in her pocket.
‘How did you get these?’ Clem asks. ‘We were just in class together.’
‘Witch,’ says Lara, stuffing a handful into her mouth. ‘She’s a witch!’
Clem nudges me. ‘Reckon it’s someone in Year Ten – they were meant to have an English exam today.’
‘Which book?’
‘Play – Much Ado About Nothing.’
‘Fair call,’ says Lara, licking salt off her fingers. ‘But I reckon it’s probably the Year Twelves swinging by the school and getting nostalgic. I mean, it’s probably their last bomb scare.’
‘Can you even imagine?’ Zin shakes her head. ‘I’m going to miss this place.’
‘We shouldn’t be out in the sun like this,’ I say.
‘There’s nowhere shady out here,’ Clem says flatly. He tends not to burn, even when we’ve been stuck out on the oval for two hours.
‘We’ll go back in soon,’ says Lara. Her fair skin’s already going pink. She’s the sort of person who’s eternally hopeful every time she accidentally gets sunburnt that this time she’ll get a tan. All that ever happens is that she peels and gets a fresh scattering of freckles.
‘Hey! I nearly forgot!’ Clem pulls a hat out of his back pocket. It’s one of those floppy, wide-brimmed ones. It doesn’t fit his head properly, but he puts it on and beams at me.
Lara groans. ‘Take that off.’
‘No.’ He adjusts the string under his chin. ‘I’m taking care of myself. I’m investing in my future.’
Lara shakes her head.
Someone from the soccer team walks by and laughs. ‘Nice hat, Liu!’
Clem bows, keeping his hat on with one of his hands. ‘Jealousy is unattractive, Steven!’
‘Oh, Clem,’ Zin sighs.
‘Can I have my tie back?’ Clem asks, swinging around to face me. ‘I promise not to pick at it.’
‘You swear?’
‘Yeah, I swear.’
I hand him the tie out of my pocket, feeling the letter against my fingers.
‘Check out Matthew Clarke,’ Zin says.
I crane my neck. Matthew Clarke is talking to the teachers like he’s one of them. Matthew’s tall and blond. I don’t know what colour his eyes are; I’ve never been game enough to look at him that closely. He’s one of those people who are involved in absolutely everything – backstage at musicals, athletics, choir, water polo, soccer and the school’s fundraising. He doesn’t really seem to have friends or get along particularly well with anyone in our year. Matthew Clarke has fascinated Zin and me since we started high school. Lara gets very impatient about it all – I think because they’d been on the soccer team together before Lara got turfed. Lara gets impatient with everyone on the soccer team, including Clem.