Raking his fingers through his hair, Drez was frustrated with me. “I know she was murdered. Look, Kimber. You’ve been delightfully naïve and sweet our whole lives. I would love to let you stay that way. But I can’t. You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want to lose you.”
My jaw dropped open. “I’m naïve?”
A rueful snort escaped him. “Woman, you have no idea. Our world is not a utopia. You’re finding your magic. You’ve got a purpose. And that purpose goes against what other people believe and want for this world.”
“But—”
“No. There are no buts. Not everyone likes our supposed utopia. Watch your ass. Watch your front. Make sure you can trust anyone you confide in. I’m safe. Elex, Jennila, Arik, and Jellina are safe, too.”
He wrapped his hands around my shoulders. “I wish I could spare you. You are a sweet soul, but the magic picked you, and when the magic opens to a person, the black and white you see becomes gray.”
“We are good people.”
“How do we know? How do you know we aren’t the bad guys?” A quirk of his eyebrow punctuated his words. “Be careful. Don’t paint a target on your back. Don’t mourn Mistress Danai’s death in the public eye beyond today.”
Dropping a kiss on my forehead, he gave me a grim smile. “I am sorry. Your sweetness has always been a bright spot. I am going to be sad to see it go.”
Drez was out of the shadows and back to the group in a moment, and all but Elex quickly walked off the temple grounds.
Elex was with me in the shadows a moment later, and took my elbow, leading me away.
“Is what he said true?”
“S’Kir is not the utopia we imagine.”
“You knew all this.”
“Not until recently. Drez…” He cleared his throat and looked around, then continued in a hushed voice. “Drez has been part of the underground group that protects and spies for the temple for years. His parents were too. They believe we are on the right side of history.”
“Who wouldn’t believe in the Lost God?”
Shushing me with a finger to his lips, he started to lead me through the streets back to his apartments.
A glance back at me, and he quietly continued his explanation. “It’s not that they don’t believe in the Lost God. Very few people doubt the veracity of the stories. What they doubt is his benevolence.”
“Why would anyone doubt his benevolence?”
We scurried around another corner, just a few blocks from his front door.
“You, and Jellina, Jennila, Arik, and I all grew up with very few bumps and bruises along the way. Some people aren’t so lucky.”
“My parents were killed in the sea.”
“When you were grown. Some people lose loved ones for reasons they want to have explained and no one can. Perhaps they were told one too many times it was the will of the Lost God.”
The door of his apartment appeared, and we scurried forward. He put a hand on my back to guide me in.
“Elex, no one believes the Lost God can do anything about an accidental death, do they?”
“They do.” He shut the door firmly.
“Then they don’t understand what the word lost means, do they?” The words came out far more harshly than I wanted.
“Why are we locked here in S’Kir?” he asked. “Why are we divided from the vampires? Why is the gate forbidden? Haven’t you ever wondered about any of this? I know some stories and legends kept us occupied as children, but the more I’ve spoken to Drez, the more I realize we have been lied to.”
I opened my mouth to yell at him, but he put a finger to my lips. “No, Kimber. I think we have been lied to—but I do not believe it was wrong of them to keep the truth from us. I am with the temple. I am with you. I just want you to know what we are facing now.
“Mistress Danai died, and you were nearly kidnapped because there are people out there who know there are lies and want the liars exposed.”
My breath hissed out as I shook my head. “Shouldn’t they be?”
“What would the consequences be if we revealed the liars and exposed the lies? That’s what they, the rebels, aren’t thinking about.”
“Lying is bad.”
“Lies are necessary. The temple must sometimes do things that aren’t always clean and good. That is the way of politics, the way government runs. Our Lost God is lost, but what happened?”
“He went on a noble quest—”
Elex’s noises of disgust filled the room as he turned away from me. “Children’s stories! Kimber, those are children’s stories. We all know they are meant to placate the little ones to keep them from having terrible nightmares.”
“I teach children, Elex. I teach those stories.”
“And you never doubted them?”
My protest died on my lips. Of course, I had doubted them. I had doubted them since I was little. They were twisted and filled with plot holes and bad reasoning.
But I didn’t feel that they were lies. “They were stories for children. Do adults still believe in the infallibility of childhood fairy tales?”
“If they stick their head in the sand.”
I was astonished.
I dropped to his couch, exhausted. “How long have you been plotting with Drez?”
Sitting down next to me, Elex took my hand. “Kimber. I’m not plotting. He’s not plotting. There’s nothing bad about what he and his family does. They want to protect the temple and the people.
“I only found about Drez’s association with them after you were taken from the dance. He talked to Jallina and me. Apparently, Arik already knew and filled in his mate.”
“Milgran…”
His hand clutched mine. “No. Never. Don’t ever speak to Milgran about anything. Don’t ever speak to anyone but us about this… Not any of the temple masters, no one.”
“So I am truly this naïve?”
Dropping a sweet kiss on my forehead. “You are goodness personified, Kimber. We all wanted you to keep that goodness. But the magic… Well, I guess it has other ideas. Drez broke his own ‘don’t tell Kimber’ rule, so I’m free to bring you in on this now.”
“You really wanted to protect me this much?”
His big, warm hand touched my cheek and turned my head to catch my gaze. “Yes, I do. I don’t think you know how much I have always wanted to protect you.”
My insides liquefied instantly. He was so overwhelmingly sincere, and his eyes lit with desire in the next moment. He dropped his head, and his lips brushed against mine—
Bang! Bang!
The urgent knock on the door broke the spell.
“Shit.” Elex spat the word. He stood and adjusted himself—he was already turned on.
I couldn’t stop the small chuckle.
He gave me a playfully angry look as he headed for the door to answer it. He had a wicked lust in his eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t be returning to my apartments tonight.
The reason why changed as soon as Elex opened the door. A messenger stood there in full temple livery.
“The masters and mistresses of the temple demand an immediate audience with the Lady Raven.” His words were clipped and efficient. “Lord Everettson may join her.”