“I can feel your fear,” I whispered again, not knowing how I could sense it… but it was definitely there and only getting stronger by the moment. Eros had told me that those demons trapped in the portal could feel fear, that they preyed on it… And now I understood why.
It made a demon seem weak, but my Eros wasn’t weak. He was vulnerable and hurting.
Eros glanced down between us, remorse washing all over his face. I grasped his jaw and shook my head. “Please, don’t be afraid of me,” I pleaded, tears threatening to fall. “You’re my best friend. I can’t do this without you. I need you to support me down here.”
Because I kept unintentionally pushing people away. First, Kasey. Then, Jasmine.
A few months ago I hadn’t even known that Hell was a thing, and now I was the queen of one of the most powerful kingdoms. If I needed anyone at this time, it was Eros right now. He had been the Prince of Lust for thousands of years; he knew how this kind of thing worked.
“Are you still… hungry?” he asked carefully.
After I shook my head, Eros blew out a deep breath, wrapped his arms around my waist, and slumped his head down so it was resting in the crook of my neck, all the muscles in his body relaxed the way they did after sex. “Hell, Dani, I thought you lost control completely. I thought I’d never see you, sane and calm like this, again.”
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and tugged him closer to me, burying my face into his neck. “This is me. The Dani you fell in love with. You don’t have to worry. I promise that I’ll never do anything to hurt you.”
We held each other in silence for a few moments, his scent of cinnamon calming my senses. “That was the first time you devoured that much,” Eros finally said. “Your appetite for demon souls will continue to grow. It will become harder and harder for you to control your urges when you’re not satisfied.”
“Which means that I’ll need to be satisfied, right?” I joked, awkwardly hoping to lighten the mood. I poked him in the stomach, feeling his hard abdomen underneath his shirt, and smiled up at him. “You’re good at doing that.”
Eros hesitated. “Maybe, but not for long. Without more sex, you’re going to crave more souls. It’s one or the other, Dani. I’ll provide you with as much as I can, but I won’t be enough. You’re Queen of Lust now. Your demon will require more of everything.”
I pressed my lips together, not wanting to have this conversation with him again. I wanted Eros and only Eros, having someone else in this relationship with us was enticing but it was also so terrifying at the same time. I trusted him with everything that I had… but it could lead to drama, and Lord knew that I didn’t need more of that in my life.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered.
“You don’t want to, but it needs to be done.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” I asked, trying to compromise. “I want you to be happy with this decision, whatever it may be. There are a lot of demons in Lust who’d want to be with us, just because we’re the commanders. And I want someone who will love us for us, not because of our title.”
“You’re the commander,” he clarified. “Not me.”
“We’re in this together. I can’t run an entire kingdom by myself. I need you to trust me, and I need to be able to trust that whatever decision we make isn’t going to cause you stress. The beginning of the end is here. Demons will rise soon. I’m only strong with you by my side.”
A deafening silence captured the room, then Eros swallowed. “What about Lucifer?”
“Lucifer?” I asked, brows furrowed together.
It shouldn’t have surprised me, as Lucifer was growing closer to both of us and Eros had mentioned it before. But Lucifer had an entire kingdom to run himself, he couldn’t be in my bed every night, could he?
“Lucifer isn’t going to use either of us for power or control, since he already has a kingdom of his own. He likes spending time over in Lust, and don’t you enjoy our little trips to Pride?” Eros asked.
I hesitated but nodded. “Is this what you want? Are you okay with me being with one of your greatest friends all the time?”
Eros paused again, taking a long time to answer my simple question and I could tell that there was so much he wanted to say to me, but instead he opted for a simple: “Yes, I want you healthy and in control of your urges.”
“Is this what you want?” I repeated, wanting him to come out and say it. “Do you want Lucifer to be with me and with us? Adding someone else to this mix, even if it’s just for casual sex, might get a bit messy. One of us could end up catching feelings.”
Because I wasn’t going to lie, Lucifer was easy to fall for.
“Us…” he repeated with a smile, grabbing my hands. “I’d like for him to join us.”
What seemed like ages ago now, Eros mentioned that he only liked sex with people he had feelings for, and while Eros and Lucifer hadn’t had sex with each other—at least to my knowledge—Eros had kissed Lucifer the other day and enjoyed it too.
Maybe he did want this more than I thought.
“Let’s talk to him and not settle until we are certain that this is something he desires.”
Eros grasped my jaw, pulled me toward him, and kissed me. “Good,” he mumbled against my lips. He wrapped his arms around the back of my thighs, picked me off the floor, and placed me on the desk. “Because I want to be able to enjoy my time with you now, Dani.”
I drew my finger up the side of Eros’s neck and under his chin, forcing him to look at me with those sinful emerald eyes that I wanted to consume every night until the end of time. He hardened against the front of his pants, grinding himself into me softly.
“Are you afraid of what will happen to me when you thrust yourself inside me, Eros?” I murmured against his lips, letting myself have just a taste. “Are you afraid that I’m going to lose control and devour every bit of you?” I inhaled his cinnamon scent deeply and shuddered in delight. “Or are you afraid that you’re going to love it too damn much?”
Eros wrapped a hand around my neck and pushed me back with it, his claws dangerously close to my throat, strumming his fingers up and down. I sucked in a breath, feeling the heat gather in my core and spread throughout my body.
When he rested his forehead on mine and kissed me, I closed my eyes. We were suddenly transported to that realm that was both imagination yet truth, dream yet reality, the hazy in-between where all your dreams came true and all those monsters in your nightmares were real.
Instead of being in my old bedroom or any of the other places Eros mind-controlled me before, we were walking on white feathery clouds behind enormous golden gates, staring at miles upon miles of red apple trees.
Eros looked almost surprised that we ended up here, yet he grasped my hand and pulled me from the path to behind some trees to hide as people with huge wings that I didn’t recognize walked from a large temple down the path, all chatting quietly with each other.
He placed a hand over my mouth, pushed me against the tree, and grinded his hips against mine, emerald green eyes filling with complete darkness. Lust shot through my body at the thought of this being… so sinful that even Eros thought he had to hide. Eros never hid from anyone and took me where he pleased, like on the bus that one night.