My breath goes all funny—thicker.
I ignore him.
“Tate Meadows loves me…” I whisper, tugging the last petal free, and I feel nothing but numb as I stare at the bare stem.
He loves me.
I roll my eyes and throw the stem far, watching as it kisses the water’s surface and skates across each ripple like it’s ice.
Yeah, right. Tate could never love me.
I’m a Héroux. A Héroux could never mix with a Meadows. It’s sin. Straight up sin.
“London,” Tate slightly shouts through the rain because it’s the only way I can hear him. “London, look at me.”
My teeth are jittering, slamming together again and again and again due to the cold chill seeping through my pajamas, skin, and bones.
I don’t.
I don’t look at him.
Instead, the fresh smell of rain is all I breathe.
“I’ll swap you with my coat!” Tate yells, but it sounds as if it’s with a frown, like it’s the last thing he wants to do.
Wait, what?
That has me swinging my head toward Tate.
Piercing light blue eyes motionlessly stare back at me in waiting. The only hint of any sort of expression is his tight jaw and the clench it does twice before he gestures at my teddy with his chin.
I knit my brows in confusion. Is he serious? He wants my teddy bear?
It takes two seconds for me to weigh up my options between freezing to death and separation anxiety. In the end, I choose to sacrifice the latter.
Tate Meadows unzipping his raincoat for me is a sight I thought I’d never see.
I pout. “But it’s blue…”
“What is?” he asks, pulling his coat off.
“Your coat. It’s blue.”
“So?”
I grimace, feeling the bile rush up my throat, just like it always does when I think of the color blue and what it means for me. “I don’t like blue.”
Tate scrunches up his nose. “Well, that’s stupid. Blue is the best color in the world.”
I poke my tongue out. “I hate it!”
“My parents say I should hate you.”
I don’t know why I struggle to breathe for a moment. Of course he should hate me. That much, I know. I guess I’ve just never heard those words out loud before. From him.
“My mama and daddy say I should feel the same way about you too.”
“Good.”
“Huh?”
“Good,” he hisses through his perfect pearly whites. “I said good. It’s better this way.”
Better this way?
Our stare down ends with a scoff on my behalf and a glare on his.
I thrust my teddy bear at his chest. “I hate you.”
Tate practically throws his raincoat in my face. “I. Hate. You.”
Slipping on his raincoat, I almost want to laugh at how oversized it is. Tate is already so much taller than me, causing the raincoat to end by my ankles, and the sleeves cover my hands, even rolled up. But it’s okay. It’s okay because it keeps me warm. And safe. And it smells like him, which makes my stomach flip with butterflies.
Good butterflies this time.
I glance over at Tate and can’t help but notice how drenched his cashmere sweater and jeans are already. His dark caramel brown hair seems even darker in the rain, and I watch as he slicks it back with one hand, but one or two cheeky strands remain and fall over his eyes like he’s Superman.
The rain seeps into my teddy even more, soaking it through so much that I’m sure if he squeezes it hard enough, a waterfall will escape. But his grip on my teddy isn’t hard. Not at all. It’s soft and gentle and almost like… almost like he wants to protect it.
I don’t know if Tate’s mommy or daddy and stepmom ever give him any toys or teddies, but right now, it’s like it’s the very first time he’s holding something other than empty space.
“Bye, bye, Mr. Bunny.” I sigh, waving over at my teddy with a frown.
Tate looks at me as if I’m crazy. “Why is it called Mr. Bunny if it’s a bear?”
“’Cause, it just is.”
“Wellllll, that’s stupid.”
My brows rush together. “You can’t say that! Mommy said that’s a bad word!”
A slow, boyish smirk rises up his lips. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
I roll my eyes into the back of my brain. Ugh. Why are boys so annoying?
“I liked it better without you here.”
Tate’s stare remains as he parts his lips as if he’s going to say something, but he pauses. And seconds later, they’re closed again.
I look up at him, confused.
What was he going to say?
Did I hurt his feelings?
I shrug to myself and face my body toward the lake again, glancing up at the moon.
Boys…
Moments pass with the thundery rain being our only friend. I don’t know what Tate is thinking, other than the soft sigh that escapes him, almost as if he’s bored. Not of me. Not of this moment. But of life.
Tired.
Tired of life is what I mean.
Gosh, the moon is so pretty. Even through the heavy rain, it’s so bright and big and perfect. How did it get all the way up there? I’ve heard some people say it’s made out of cheese, but I don’t think so. It couldn’t be. I don’t know what it’s made of, just that it’s pretty, lights up the waves of the lake, and sparks such happiness to my heart that I smile slowly into the night.
“Did you sneak out?” Tate’s voice lingers in my chest for a second too long.
I nod without facing him. “Yeah, my nanny left to see her boyfriend. She thinks I didn’t notice, but I did. My parents are away… in Dubai. Did you sneak away too?”
“Yeah. My parents aren’t away, but they never check on me at night. I come here to hide.”
Hide from what? I want to ask him. But I know I can’t.
I’m not supposed to know anything about Tate Meadows.
Nothing at all.
My parents would ground me if they knew where I am right now. Which is why I can’t tell them. How I know Tate won’t tell his.
This is our secret.
Only ours and nobody else’s.
I gulp down thickly. “Tate, this is my first time sneaking out…”
Tate Meadows scoffs.
Scoffs.
Obviously, this isn’t his first time and definitely won’t be his last either. And there’s that same ol’ smirk again. “Wanna run away from earth one day together?”
My heart skips at the way he’s looking at me… so deeply.
Shrugging, I stare at the shimmery moonlit body of water. “I dunno. Where we gonna go?”
Silence greets me.
Swinging my legs, I count to ten. Then again. And again. When I reach a full minute, I glance over my shoulder at Tate, who’s still holding my teddy like it’s his prize, his smirk long gone.
Tate chews his lower lip softly, concentrating before those blue-eyed wonderlands flicker up to the bright full moon above us.
He scoots closer to me and gestures to it. “There. We’ll go there.”
To the moon.
“But…” I whisper, all confused. “But… you can’t live there!”
“Why not?”
“Because… Nobody lives on the moon.”