“Giovanni is here.”
My mouth fell open, completely taken aback. “He didn’t call?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” Mom said. She glanced at Amo.
He gave a one shoulder shrug. “I don’t have his number or he mine. We’re not that close.”
I swallowed down anger. “Dad. I doubt Giovanni would dare to come by without asking for permission first.”
Mom gave me a placating smile. “Your father worries about you as much as I do. Maybe he thought it would do you good to see him.”
I paced the room. “How will it do me good to see my ex-boyfriend only hours after Maddox left?”
“Old flames burn longer, right?” Amo muttered.
I would have hurled another book at him, and not missed this time, if Mom hadn’t been present.
“Will you see him, or should I send him away?” Mom asked. “He’s down in the foyer.”
I couldn’t believe Giovanni was here. Of all the people I didn’t want to see right now, he was at the top. “Send him away. I can’t deal with him right now.”
Mom nodded and turned.
Maddox was probably already getting cozy with one of his pass-arounds right this moment, having her give him a blowie. The idea made me sick and furious at once. I didn’t regret what had happened between us, I’d enjoyed it too much, but I wished I hadn’t gotten emotionally involved.
“Wait!” I shouted, stumbling after Mom.
She turned with raised eyebrows.
“I’ll talk to him,” I said quickly. “It would be rude to send him away when he came all the way here.”
“That’s true,” Mom said. “Be open minded.”
She meant maybe I’d reconsider Giovanni. My first instinct was to say no, because breaking up with Giovanni had felt liberating. I couldn’t see how getting back together with him could make me feel better. Returning to an ex-boyfriend only because one couldn’t be alone or to soothe a broken heart was the worst option.
“Should I tell him you need to get ready?”
I glanced down at myself. I was in gym leggings and a sweater, clothes I’d only ever worn in public on my way to or from the gym. Still, I shook my head. “I don’t feel like dressing up.”
Giovanni could see the real me, the no-makeup, sweater girl. It was only one tiny part of me, but it was one he’d never met. Only perfect Marcella. I followed Mom downstairs. Like she had said, Giovanni waited in the foyer, regarding an old family photo with mild curiosity. He must have seen it a hundred times already. He turned to me when I was on the last step, his eyes taking in my outfit. Surprise flitted across his face but he quickly masked it with a warm smile.
To my surprise, I was no longer angry at Giovanni for his words about me being ruined if I broke up with him. The kidnapping put everything into perspective. He’d been hurt and shocked, so he’d lashed out in the only way he could.
I gave Mom a nod, indicating to her that she could leave. She slipped into the living room and closed the door.
Silence spread between Giovanni and me. He was, as usual, immaculately dressed in a button-down shirt and slacks plus Budapesters. The outfit didn’t do anything for me anymore. Maddox had turned me into a leather jacket, biker boots, and jeans lover, which made me even angrier, considering nobody in our circles dressed like that.
“Marci,” Giovanni said gently, tearing me from my thoughts.
I forced a smile and took the last step down but didn’t go closer to him. “Giovanni, you look good.”
It was the most inane thing I could have said and could only be topped if I started talking about the weather.
His smile broadened. “You do too.”
I shook my head. “I’m in gym clothes with no makeup. You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying, Marci. I’m not a fan of your outfit but you are as beautiful as always.”
“Thanks,” I said, and smiled more honestly than I had all day. This remark about my outfit would have set me off in the past, but I didn’t care about Giovanni’s approval anymore. Being perfect in everyone’s eyes had been ripped from my hands, and in many ways, it made life easier.
“Can I come closer?” Giovanni asked.
“Why would you ask?” But then it dawned on me. The rumors had reached his ears and he thought I’d be scared of his closeness. Not that he’d been the touchy-feely type before, but I was certain his hesitance stemmed from a different place now.
“Sure. I’m fine, Giovanni. You don’t have to treat me like I’m breakable.”
Giovanni closed the distance between us and took my hands, something I hadn’t expected, but I didn’t pull away. Being close to someone other than family felt good after everything, but Giovanni wasn’t the man I wanted to be consoled by. Yet, that man had taken off like a goddamn coward. I shoved any thought of Maddox aside.
Giovanni met my gaze. His was infatuated and devoted as it had been before. He wouldn’t run off. No, he was here, asking me for a second chance.
“I want us to try again. This time everything can be different, Marci.”
“Different how?” I asked.
He lowered his voice as if he feared someone might be eavesdropping. That almost made me roll my eyes again. “I wouldn’t hold back anymore. I’d give you everything you need. I’d kiss you everywhere, touch you everywhere. I’d sleep with you.”
“You would?”
“Yes,” he said. “Nothing is holding us back anymore. We could be like a normal couple even without being married. People won’t expect bloody sheets anyway.”
It took me a moment to process his words and then to get over them. He sounded relieved that I’d slept with Maddox, because the rumors about me getting nasty with a biker meant he didn’t have to preserve my virginity anymore. It meant he didn’t have to fear my father anymore, because in comparison to Maddox, me sleeping with Giovanni was something Dad would probably applaud.
I pulled my hands out of his, once again angry. “You are wrong. Something is holding us back, my feelings for you. I don’t want to be with you anymore, not in the physical sense and not emotionally either. I’ve moved on, Giovanni, and so should you.”
“Marci, you don’t have to be ashamed of what happened. The rumors will die down eventually. Once we’re married, people will only see you as the woman at my side.”
It took impossible self-control not to scream at him from the top of my lungs. I’d been bottling up too many emotions anyway, but I didn’t want to alert Mom, or worse, Dad. They were already babysitting me 24/7, and a mental breakdown definitely wouldn’t help my case.
“Please leave now,” I pressed out. “I’m not interested in being the woman at someone’s side right now. I want to focus on work. Learning the ins and outs of the Famiglia will take time and dedication. I think you should look for another woman.”
I had to admit I was proud of myself for my moderately calm voice.
The hint of a sympathetic smile flitted across Giovanni’s face. “My father mentioned your plan to join the Famiglia.” He shook his head in a way that couldn’t be described as anything but condescending. “Listen, Marci, your dad’s humoring you because you were hurt, but people are starting to talk. It’s not fitting for a woman to want a place in our ranks.”