“Just tell me what changed.” I needed to understand. “And why is this your decision?” He had to throw me a bone. I was stronger than I looked. “Tell me what’s going on, and we can fight this.” Whatever this was, we could face it together.
He bristled. “This isn’t up for debate. I’m not going to let you do anything stupid that could get you killed.”
Oh, sure. Fine. “But it’s okay for you to die.”
He cleared his throat, and suddenly I felt horribly guilty. There was a real chance I would never see him again, even if he wasn’t being an idiot and breaking up with me.
He said the words slowly, as if he’d gone over them so many times in his mind that they were permanently fixed. “We knew when I lost my powers that eventually it could end badly,” he said. “Please. Don’t let this be the way we say goodbye.”
I planted my hands on my hips and stared him right in the baby blues. Too bad for him I was terrible at letting things die. “I’m sorry to screw up your noble moment here, but this is war. We’re soldiers. We fight. And I’m going to be with you until the end whether you like it or not.”
“You are in danger,” he said, his words clipped. “Every second I stay here in this camp with you, you are at risk.”
“Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be.” He’d known from the start I was the loyal type. The prophecies had worked in strange ways last time, but we’d made it precisely because we’d stuck together. “Why don’t you let me choose whether or not I want to risk it?” I’d been through enough already. This was war. I’d lost my first love, Marc, to the senseless violence. I never regretted sticking with him until the end, and I wasn’t about to abandon Galen, either.
He glared at me. At least he wasn’t arguing anymore.
“So it’s a risk,” I prodded. “What kind of risk?” I’d chanced the wrath of the gods themselves last month. I could handle whatever Galen had to face. I could see him working to close himself off.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have even told you that much.”
“But you did,” I pointed out. We didn’t have secrets. “You’ve let me in on things before.”
He broke. “Not this time,” he thundered.
Why did I go for the stubborn ones? “You said you loved me,” I pointed out.
He cursed under his breath. “I do,” he stated flatly.
“Boy, every girl dreams of a guy saying it that way,” I mused.
He reached out slowly, deliberately, and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
“I want you to be happy,” he said simply.
“Then don’t be an asshat.” If I had to get out the hand puppets, I would.
Galen ran a hand through his short, clipped hair. His jaw ground tight. “If I somehow make it back in five, ten, fifty years and you’re still here and still available—then it’s fate. But if I come back and find you happy, I’m okay with that, too.” He was intense, almost pleading. I’d never seen him like that before.
“Galen—”
His eyes glittered. “If I die, I don’t want to go knowing this time we had only caused you misery in the end.”
Well, then he was doing a crummy job of it. “You realize you’re making me miserable right now.”
His expression softened. “Don’t hold back your life the way you did before I met you. You were only existing.” His fingers skimmed my cheek. “More than anything, I want you to live, even if I can’t be there with you.”
I didn’t know what to say.
He brushed his lips against my forehead. “Goodbye, Petra,” he said before he walked out of my life.
Chapter Two
So this was it.
“Un-fricking believable!” I kicked a tombstone, which was a really bad idea. It hurt like a mother. “Son of a…” Tears stung the back of my eyes.
I liked the pain. I liked being ticked. Otherwise, I was going to curl up on the ground and cry like a baby.
Galen had no right, no business deciding anything for me. I didn’t care if he was protecting my secret or if he was shielding me from some other abomination of the gods. We’d tackled both of those things on our first adventure—together.
We’d won, too.
I didn’t see why it couldn’t be the same now. And I wouldn’t know because he’d shut me out. Cut me off. He’d ended our partnership in the cruelest way possible, because he refused to even tell me why.
He’d decided for me, for us. Now he had peace. He had resolution, and I had a gaping hole where my life used to be.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” I mumbled to myself, weaving through the tombstones, kicking up a small cloud of dust and decay. I ignored my aching right toe. It would heal.
As for the rest of me?
I wasn’t so sure.
I had to move, think. Get away.
I couldn’t imagine what kind of military order Galen could get that would make him destroy me, end us.
Unless he really didn’t want to be with me. The horrifying notion settled in my stomach like an ugly black rock.
Maybe I’d been just a fun diversion, something pleasant to pass the time while he was stuck here, a trophy to be won.
I barreled onto the main path and almost ran into a supply clerk. She reached out to steady me. “Hey,” she said, “sorry to hear about Galen.”
“You and me both,” I said, stepping around her, the apology dying on my lips as I wondered how she knew. She had to be talking about the transfer, not the way Galen had just ripped my heart out. Still. Did the whole camp know?
The petite blonde lingered. “He’ll be fine.”
“Right,” I said, taking off for my hutch.
A cold wind whipped in from the desert. Daytime was stifling hot, but we had to fire up the heaters at night. I wrapped my physician’s coat around my body and hugged my arms tight as another gust of wind blew straight through me.
“Petra.” A few of the nurses clustered outside the officers’ club, waving at me to get my attention.
I took the long way around. I didn’t want to talk.
Galen had left me. Just like Marc. Only Marc had had an excuse—he was dead.
It was full darkness by now, which was good. I wanted to hide.
Torches lined the walk, casting scattered pools of light.
We’d talked the new gods into a generator for the hospital, but otherwise they insisted we go old school with lanterns and anything else we could set on fire. And we were supposed to be on the progressive side. Ha.
I trudged past the OR and the recovery tent. A few soldiers crouched outside the enlisted quarters, laughing as they raced baby swamp monsters and did shots of Hell’s Rain.
The laughter died down as I passed. Holy Hades. I was a walking party killer.
“Gentlemen.” I nodded to them as I passed.
I probably should have warned them that Colonel Kosta would skewer them for harboring illegal creatures, or that as a doctor I didn’t recommend drinking the 180 proof precipitation that fell from the Limbo sky. But that would mean talking to them.
Yes, Galen is gone.