“Elsa isn’t like us. She needs to hear it straight from you and Silver or she won’t believe it.”
“She wouldn’t fucking talk to me.”
“You deserve it.”
“Nash,” I warn low.
“Just saying. Ask for forgiveness and show her your true feelings — as fucked up as they are. Knight, Astor, and I can talk to her all day, but if she shuts down from you, there’s no bringing her back.”
“When did you become an expert on relationships?”
“Since you keep fucking up.” He starts towards the building. “Show up for practice and make an actual effort or I’ll have to ask Coach to bench you.”
Little —
“Oh.” He smiles. “We have an interesting addition to the team.”
Fuck if I care.
We walk through the school’s hallway. Girls from the gymnastics and track teams bat their eyelashes at me.
They think because Elsa is out of the picture, they have a chance.
I’d pity them if I could.
There’s no one before Elsa and no one after her. She’s a constant, and soon everyone will know that.
Elsa fucking included.
Astor joins us and chats about his latest bang and the upcoming game, but I filter him out.
My head hurts from lack of sleep. It’s been three days since I last slept, and I still couldn’t collapse. I’m this close from seeing people as caricatures.
Wait. That’s their everyday appearance.
“So, King.” Astor wraps an arm around my shoulder and the other around Nash’s.
I don’t even have the energy to remove his arm or threaten to break it.
“When are you going to apologise to Ellie and bring her back? Hmm? Hmm?”
I glare at him.
“Knight and I can prepare a carriage filled with flowers and chocolate and shit.”
Elsa doesn’t like chocolate. Well, except for Maltesers. I wonder if she’ll remember anything if I give her those little chocolate balls.
“I can even sing.” He snaps his fingers. “Wait! Cake bunny hookers! Ellie would fucking love them. Am I right or am I right?”
“You’re never right, Astor,” I tell him.
“And stop inserting cake bunny hookers in every idea,” Nash chimes in.
“Fais chier, connards. Someone needs to acknowledge my fantasies or I’m cutting a bitch.”
My feet come to a halt of their own volition.
Blonde hair bounces down slender shoulders with blinding elegance. Like a light in the darkness, Elsa walks down the hall with Van Doren and a tiny girl.
I’m pushed back to that basement when she brought light with her.
Literally.
Figuratively.
This thing inside me that beats for her is boundless.
I can’t stop looking at her. At her electric blue eyes, her radiant face, and those fucking kissable lips that are mine.
She’s all mine with a capital M.
And now, she’s back.
This time, only death would do us part.
12
Elsa
Dad agreed to let us go back to RES.
Shocking, I know.
With what happened at the Rhodes’ estate, I thought he’d be opposed to RES now more than ever. However, when we sat down and I told him I want to finish the year at my school, he didn’t object.
And I’m glad. It was rushed to even think about leaving the school in the first place.
I’m done running and hiding.
I’m done disappearing when I should be walking the halls with my head held high.
I did nothing wrong.
Dad’s agreement might have to do with the fact that he needs to be in London to prepare for the Rhodes’ project.
Knox is all for going back to RES. His previous school in Birmingham is boring as fuck — again his words, not mine.
Teal isn’t as ecstatic about the move. She only came along because no one stayed in Birmingham except for the staff.
Dad’s house in London is close to Ronan’s neighbourhood. It’s a bit far from Aunt and Uncle’s house, but I promised to visit them today.
Teal, Knox, and I walk down the hall towards our class. I try not to focus on Aiden standing by the entrance, all powerful and polished. Both his hands are shoved into his pockets, which means he’s stopping himself from doing something — what, I don’t know.
He watches me as if I’m the only one in the busy hallway. The interest in his eyes is paralysing, suffocating even. His gaze studies me close, so close, as if he’s relearning my features, the curve of my shoulder, and the line of my collarbone.
Almost like… he’s making sure I’m real.
He gave me that look once upon a time.
Was it in our childhood?
I shake myself internally. Just because I came back to RES doesn’t mean I’ll get entangled up with Aiden all over again. My return has nothing to do with him and everything to do with my self-worth.
RES has my grades and my track practice and my friends.
It also has Aiden and my bullies.
Oh well, all places have advantages and inconveniences.
I breeze straight past him, ignoring his stupid broad shoulders and ridiculous tall frame.
One day, I’ll stop seeing him as an attractive bastard.
Attractive or not, I’m not falling back into his orbit.
This is more than my attraction or feelings. This is about my worth.
I deserve better than being the other woman.
I deserve better than being a mere pawn.
I deserve better than him.
Knox, Teal, and I sit close together, and I listen to Knox talking about how Agnus tricked him into helping for free.
Aiden strolls inside but doesn’t take a seat, instead he remains near the entrance. I can feel him watching me closely even without lifting my head.
A part of me wants to watch him back. I want to engage in that glare for glare battle. I want to see him see me.
The betrayal, anger, and bitterness.
But he’ll only use those emotions to hurt me all over again. I’m done being hurt by Aiden and his fucking games.
“Ellie!” Ronan hops on my desk, nearly knocking my pens on the ground. “I was just telling King about how to bring you back. I even offered to sing.”
Teal snorts from my side.
Ronan grins at her, but it’s fake. It’s rare to see Ronan fake anything, he’s about the most honest out of the horsemen. “You have a problem, ma belle?”
She searches around me. “Did you hear someone talk, Elsa?”
Ronan leans in to whisper, “I’m happy you’re back and all, but why did you bring this freak?”
“I heard that,” Teal deadpans.
He feigns innocence. “Did you hear someone talk, Ellie?”
I smile, shaking my head.
This is the first time I see Ronan go out of his way to show passive-aggression towards anyone. He usually avoids confrontation — except with his friends. But I guess, just like in football, Ronan gives twice as hard when he’s attacked.
He’s Death after all.
Mrs Stone comes inside. All residual chatter dies down and everyone takes their seat.
During the entire class, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I’m supposed to concentrate, but my attention keeps bouncing back to a certain someone who’s watching me like a hawk.