After Damien disappears, I retrieve my laptop to finish my work. After two hours, I shut down my computer and head off to find Damien instead. I can’t concentrate on anything but him.
16
Damien
Two weeks go by before I even know what happened. Shayne and I have settled into a rhythm, and it’s a rhythm I want to continue for a really long time. Every time she checks her email, I can feel the weight in my chest at the thought that she’ll get the response from Devonshire that they want her to start immediately.
I’ve seen the samples she’s sent in. I know her worth. And they’d be complete morons not to hire her.
I mean, we did. We hired her before she could get away. In fact, she’s the type of girl you grab onto for fear of losing her.
And that fear is fucking real.
On Tuesday, Shayne and I head into work, and she takes her spot at the bar, working on her laptop tonight instead of tending the bar. She doesn’t know I’m watching her when I see her response to an email.
The elation on her face is unmistakable. She’s happy she’s got the job, and in this split second I know I have to let her go.
Her happiness is replaced by a look of sadness, and I know she’s feeling that same heavy weight on her chest I have.
It sucks.
Her eyes meet mine from across the club and I swear, it’s like the music falls away.
Ben steps up close to me. “She get the job?”
My focus is still on Shayne. “Yeah, I think so.”
Ben’s look says it all. He knows she means a lot to me. Hell, everyone knows how much she means to me. “I’m sorry, man. Think you’ll move with her?”
“I can’t do that.” Can I? I mean, the club’s a success, and I could technically move, but no. I can’t leave this place that I worked so hard for.
I step away from Ben, crossing the club floor to meet Shayne. “Get the job?”
She sucks in a deep breath before letting it out. “Yeah, I did.”
We should be celebrating her on her success. We should be ordering champagne and toasting to a job well done. But instead, we’re both silent, staring at the floor because we both feel our time’s coming to an end.
No, fuck that. I won’t let it go down this way. We will celebrate her landing this amazing job. “I’m so proud of you.” I grab her around the waist, pulling her closer to me and kiss the ever-loving fuck out of my girl.
“I don’t think I’m going to take it.” Her eyes well with tears.
I smile. “Yes you are.”
She doesn’t say anything back, and she doesn’t have to.
We close down the club, and after we all head back to my house to celebrate Shayne getting her new job.
“I’m so proud of you,” Emma says, toasting Shayne with a flute of bubbly.
“We all are,” Axel adds. “We all knew you were really good.”
Shayne blushes. “You all are too nice to me.” She smiles, and then kisses my cheek. “I’ll be right back.” Shayne heads off into the back bedroom.
“Tell us how you really feel about her leaving,” Clara asks, giving me a look of sadness and pity.
And I can’t say I want her pity. “It fucking sucks,” I say, not sugarcoating anything. “But, what can I do.”
“You could move with her.”
I laugh. “No, I can’t do that. The club needs me.” I’ve worked too long and hard on this club to just move away.
“Hear me out,” Ben says, looking at Axel for a second before his eyes land back on me. “Everything you do for the club can be done remotely. You could come into town two or three times a month. We don’t need you.”
I laugh. “Yes, you do.” Do they not know how hard I work? Like seriously? “I’ve slaved for this club. Shayne and I will just have to make a long distance relationship work.”
Clara places a hand on my knee, giving it a little squeeze. “You love her. It’s so obvious.”
I don’t let Clara know she’s hit the nail right on the head. “It’s fine,” I say, not having much time to elaborate because Shayne comes back into the room.
“What did I miss?” she asks, her eyes a little swollen.
I know she rushed off to the bathroom so no one could see her cry, and I hate it. I hate that this is happening.
Why can’t she find that same dream job here in Vegas? Is that too hard to ask?
Everyone notices, and takes that as a cue to get going. I have to say I’m thankful my family is so intuitive.
After we say our goodbyes, I wrap my arms around Shayne’s waist. “I can’t do this,” I tell her.
“Do what?” she asks.
“Let you go. How am I supposed to let you go?”
Tears fill her eyes. “I’m thinking the exact same thing.”
“I love you, Shayne,” I say. And it doesn’t feel weird to say it to her. I never thought I’d be the type of man to fall in love, but here I am...doing it.
“I love you so much, Damien.”
I kiss her, stepping her back to the couch. “I need to be inside you,” I tell her, craving her in the most primal way. “I need to make love to you, baby.”
“I need that too.”
Denial. It’s a real thing. It’s a thing Shayne and I practice everyday as the seconds on the clock tick by, leading to her departure. The past week has been a frenzy of packing, getting things ready for her new job, and phone calls. Many phone calls.
Her company is putting her up in an apartment until she can find a place, and the pictures look great. But, meanwhile, Shayne and I refuse to have the talk. You know, the one that ends with goodbye.
I want to be with her. I want to try a long distance thing, but I have no idea what she’s thinking.
“I think I have everything,” Shayne says, placing the last of her things into her suitcase.
“What are we going to do?” I ask her, laying it all out. I’ve been dreading the question since she got the job.
She sits on the bed. “I want to be with you.”
I sit down next to her, taking her tiny hand in mine. “I want that more than anything. I can fly to come and see you.”
She cuts in, “And, I can fly to come and see you, too.”
“It’s just a few thousand miles. Not even that can keep us apart.” But, as I say the words a sense of dread washes over me, flooding my mind with all the ways this will never work out.
It’s time to take her to the airport and my heart pounds in my chest. “Ready?” I ask her.
“As I’ll ever be.” She gives me a small smile.
And, this is gutting me. Completely gutting me.
We’re silent the whole way to the airport. We’re silent as I park the car. And, we’re still silent as I walk her inside to security.
“Call me when you get in.”
She smiles. “I will. And, I’ll call you everyday after that.”
“And I’ll come see you in a few weeks.”
“I can’t wait.” She places her hands on my chest. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be. You’re going to knock ‘em dead at your job. Also, I’m not going anywhere.”