“Kira,” his voice begged.
With my heart beating wildly, I walked away from him, down the little slope and out onto the town dock. My throat went dry. I knew I wasn’t behaving rationally. The dock was a dead end, unless I planned to swim away from him.
But there was no escape anyway. The sensible part of my brain knew I would have to deal with the fallout. If he was here in Maine, I was going to have to tell him the truth even if he’d broken my heart.
“Kira.”
I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. The water lapped gently under the dock. If I turned around, he might not truly be standing there. I held my breath.
That’s when he began to whistle softly. The first four bars of “You Are My Sunshine.”
Goosebumps rose on my arms.
“You remember,” I gasped, whirling around. Five years later, and he still knew to warn me. He hadn’t forgotten that I used to startle if he—or anyone else—approached me from behind.
He walked towards me slowly, his hands spread wide, muscular arms on display. His hair was shorter now, but still the most beautiful shade of sandy blond. “Of course I remember, sweetness. Never sneak up on Kira.”
At that, my eyes filled with tears.
“Hey, now,” he said gently. He’d made it all the way out on the dock, so close I could almost touch him. His blue-green eyes regarded me warmly. “I’m sorry to take you by surprise. Don’t I get a hug?”
Lord, I needed to get a grip. I took a step towards him, and he folded me in. He smelled the same, like sunshine and soap.
It hurt so much to see him again. It was excruciating to be wrapped in his hug.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he said.
And I had absolutely no reply to that. My heart urged me to hold on tightly and never let go. To confess that I thought of him every single day.
But I didn’t do it. Because I was still so angry, too.
Drawing off that anger, I summoned a little willpower, stepping backward, freeing myself. “If I ask how you’ve been, which name should I use? Jonas or John?”
A look of dismay creased his handsome face, his eyes closing for a moment, before opening again to pin me with a turquoise gaze. “Kira, I’m so sorry about that. That summer I was just trying to get away from it all.”
I swallowed. “Really? But I told you all my secrets. You must have thought that was pretty funny.”
He blinked, his face as stunned as if I’d slapped him. “Jesus, Kira. Never.”
That wasn’t the reaction I’d been expecting. And it was suddenly very hard to hold his gaze. I’d spent the last few years shaping my idea of him to match the pictures I saw in Us Weekly. The problem was that the guy standing in front of me on the dock did not look like the frivolous celebrity in those articles. This was the same man I’d met all those years ago. His face was open and youthful, his voice rich and mellow. His gaze seemed to touch me everywhere at once, making me feel flushed and confused.
He stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around me. And I let him. I took a deep breath of him, and my heart began to gallop again. When I put my arms around his back, I felt his lips press against my hairline. It was a chaste kiss between old friends.
Or rather, it should have been. But the feel of his lips on my skin sent a charge through my body. Tipping my face to meet his wasn’t even a conscious act. It was more like the inevitable result of a five-year absence and Earth’s gravitational pull.
When I moved my chin, his lips slid softly down my cheekbone. Still, it might have ended there. He might have released me, but he didn’t. “Sweetness,” he whispered.
And then? His kiss slid to the corner of my mouth, pausing there, hovering. Torturing us both.
I couldn’t resist. I leaned forward an immeasurably small distance. At that, he made a low sound in the back of his throat. He melded his mouth onto mine, his hands curving around my lower back. With a sigh, he teased my lips apart until his warm tongue met mine.
The next moments were lost to me. I melted against his body, knowing nothing except the stroke of his tongue against my own and the feel of his breath against my face. His strong arms held me in their grasp. It was the sound of my own gasp that finally brought me back down to earth. And I became aware that someone was standing on the little beach nearby, watching us.
“Oh my God, your…” Horror stopped me from finishing the sentence.
He looked over his shoulder without releasing me from his grasp. “My drummer,” he said quickly. “We’re old friends.”
I pushed on his chest until he took a step backwards. I was hot and confused. I needed oxygen and time to think. “Look… we need to talk.” I couldn’t tell him my secret now. Not with an audience. And not without a little rehearsal. “Tomorrow,” I added.
“Okay,” he said, his voice low and even. “I’d like that.”
“Um, lunch?” I asked, my eyes on my shoes. I couldn’t quite catch my breath. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the atmosphere anymore. There might never be again.
“I could meet you on the porch at the store,” he suggested.
That’s where we’d always sat together. But that place was way too public for the conversation I needed to have. “No… Where are you staying? At the B&B?” The very mention of the place made my cheeks flush.
His eyes flared, too. “No. My whole band is at the Nest Lake Lodge for the weekend. I made them come here with me.”
“Okay.” I swallowed. “Can I find you there at noon?”
“I’ll make us a picnic,” he said, a grin blooming on his face.
God, he was beautiful. A picnic with John. There had been so many days during the past few years when just the promise of spending an hour with him would have seen me through any trial. But our reunion would truly be a trial. For both of us. I needed to keep my head. “That would be fine.”
“Tomorrow, sweetness,” he said.
I stepped past him and forced myself to walk away, my heart racing, my face hot. “I’ll be there.”
As I stepped off the dock, I felt the eyes of the other woman tracking me. I should have given her a wave or a smile, or even introduced myself. But at that moment, I couldn’t manage politeness. I just went back to my car and, with shaking hands, turned the key in the ignition. I drove away without another look toward the beach.
With unseeing eyes, I parked the car in my father’s weedy gravel driveway. Leaving the keys on the seat, I heaved myself out of the car and up the creaky wooden steps of my childhood home. When I opened the door to the screened porch, Vivi and Adam looked up from the rocking chairs.
“Mommy’s home!” my brother said.
“We got cheese,” Vivi said. “And crackers.”
“Thank you, Uncle Adam,” I managed. My brother was my bedrock. Without him, the last few years would have been impossible.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.
I just gave a little shake of my head. “Later.”
“You didn’t beat us here,” he pressed.
“I know. I ran into someone. I’ll get our stuff now.” I ran back outside toward the car, still feeling unsteady. Out of sight of my family again, I parked my backside against the car and bent to brace my shaking hands on my knees.