I kissed her again, testing the waters. And she pressed those gorgeous breasts to my chest and gave as good as she got. “I don’t want to change my mind,” she whispered, giving my shoulders a tug, trying to pull me down on top of her.
But I reminded myself once again to take things very, very slowly. “Actually, let’s stay up here.” I tucked a pillow between my back and the headboard.
“Could I, um…” She hesitated.
“What, sweetness?”
The way her forehead crinkled when she frowned was endearing. “It’s sort of embarrassing. I want to touch you… You know, to remind myself that it’s not an instrument of torture.”
Jesus Christ. The things this girl had been through broke my heart. The wrongness of it might have wilted me, except for the fact that she had just asked if she could get a really close look at my dick.
I tipped my head back. “Play all you want. I don’t embarrass.”
Biting her lip, she reached over, brushing a hand tentatively over my cock.
After a moment, I blew out a breath of pure desire. “Come even closer.” I tugged her elbows, drawing her over my lap to straddle me. With wide eyes, she maneuvered her bare ass onto my thighs. I cupped her hand in mine and brought it to my shaft, curling her fingers around it. Jesus. I held my breath as she stroked me. And when she brushed her thumb over my cock head, a single drop of liquid glistened there.
She inhaled sharply. “God, you’re gorgeous. I can’t believe you’re really letting this happen.”
Letting it? I wanted to shout with joy. Kira wanted me, and it didn’t have a fucking thing to do with Hush Note or rock and roll. Instead, I was about to get laid just for being John Smith, A Good Listener.
There was a big fat lesson in there somewhere. But I’d have to find it later, because all the blood had left my brain and was currently pulsing in my cock. Kira’s fingertips dragged over me again. I was going to disgrace myself if she didn’t stop that soon.
I slipped a hand onto her belly, then smoothed it down, my thumb grazing her mound. When I dipped even lower, she closed her eyes. “Okay.” Her voice was shaky. “I’m ready.”
“Come here,” I rasped, tugging her hips closer. “I want you to ride me. Can you do that?”
For a second she looked startled. But then she nodded. She rose up on her knees, and I held my breath again. She leaned forward, trapping my cock underneath her body. Slowly, she sank down on me, and this time I couldn’t help myself. I let out a monstrous groan. “You feel so fucking good.”
She was tight and hot, a wet heaven. Without a condom, I could feel every delicious particle of her body against mine.
Hold back, I reminded myself for the hundredth time. Wayyy back.
With her hands on my shoulders and her face pensive, she rose up, sinking slowly down on me the same way again. God in heaven, I was panting already. No moment in my life had ever required so much restraint. I wanted to jack my hips off the bed. But I allowed myself only the slightest roll of my pelvis to meet her. Instead of grabbing her hips like I wanted to, I rested my fingertips lightly on her waist, my hands barely skimming the velvet swell of her ass.
Slowly she moved against me as the cool lake breeze blew through the curtains, bringing the scent of late summer with it. I took a deep breath of that perfect air and focused on Kira’s serious face. I had never paid so much attention to a lover during sex, to the blush of her cheeks and the set of her mouth. For the first time, I knew what it was like to really give myself to someone, like a gift. And holy hell. The result was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
And I’d seen some pretty crazy shit.
As she rode me, Kira shifted around, unconsciously seeking her pleasure. And when she found it, something exquisite seemed to bloom across her face. Squeezing my shoulders, her movements quickened. Her eyes opened wide, her gaze locking onto mine.
Usually during sex I shut off my brain. Because wasn’t that the point? But not this time. I was witnessing something beautiful, and I didn’t want to miss a second of it. Carefully, I slid down the sheet, laying us both down, giving Kira more room to maneuver. Her soft tits rubbed my chest as she moved, making me groan.
Suddenly, I had to have my mouth on hers. Craning my neck, I reached up, kissing her hungrily while she fucked me. Still, I listened carefully to every breathy exhalation, to every noise she made. But there were no signs of trouble, just the sounds of a woman rediscovering all the joy that two bodies could bring one another.
Her breathy moans increased in pitch, her hair sliding over my nipples like silk.
“That’s it, baby,” I gasped, my own voice cracking. And then she groaned in ecstasy, throwing her head back. The erotic look on her face nearly did me in. “Sweet Jesus,” I hissed.
And finally—wrenching my hips off the bed for relief—I came in three long, hard bursts. It was the best fucking orgasm of my life, with Kira’s sweet body milking mine.
Afterward, I flopped onto the pillow, feeling as if I’d just run a marathon. Who knew that holding back would be twice as potent as lunging for it?
When I opened my eyes again, there were tears running down Kira’s face.
“Don’t cry now,” I whispered, reaching up to wipe them away. “That was perfect.”
“I’m just so happy. For a long time I thought…” She gulped in air, and then leaned her cheek against my palm. “He took something from me, and now I feel as though it’s possible to get it back. Thank you.”
Fuck, my own eyes began to feel misty. Kira laid her head in my chest, and I stroked her hair until her tears stopped. Even as I wiped them away, her body was still hugging my cock, torturing me with the small aftershocks of her climax.
Everything about the moment was perfect.
Five years later, I hadn’t forgotten a second of it. No night had ever topped it, nor even come close. If I was a smarter man, I would have realized how much it all meant before it was too late.
I hadn’t, and I’d always regretted it.
Today, though, Kira had kissed me again. She’d kissed me like our night together was as fresh in her memory as it was in mine. That had really happened.
If she was happily married now, would she have done that?
The weird thing was that I’d always wanted a happy ending for her. These past few years I’d been picturing her with a husband and a couple of cute little kids. In my head, that’s how things ended up, and I had been okay with it.
Until today. All of a sudden it wasn’t okay. Because seeing Kira again made me wish for things that an asshole like me wouldn’t know what to do with. I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her again. And never stop.
I groaned aloud, flipping onto my stomach, pressing my erection into the quilt on my lonely bed.
We have to talk, she’d said. What the hell did that even mean?
Four
Kira
“Let’s play with all the old toys,” Vivi demanded. “And then I want to catch fireflies. Where is my jar?”
“One thing at a time, toots,” I told my daughter. “And I don’t think we’ll spot fireflies this early in the season.”
“But maybe,” she argued.