Reaching to stroke her cheek, Markus took control. “Bri, it’s clear we’ve both been keeping way too many things from each other and that’s going to stop, starting tonight. It may take time, but we’re gonna talk until we have nothing hidden, do you hear me? You’re going to tell me more about what made you go to the BDSM clubs in the first place years ago and what it is you’ve been missing in our marriage that made you risk going anywhere with that asshole who hurt you so badly in the past.”
When Brianna opened her mouth to speak, Markus gently moved his fingers to her lips again. “Not yet, baby. You’re not the only one who’s been keeping secrets. I need to go first. I need to tell you why I never told you about my being a Dom, about being a member of The Punishment Pit, and about why I never told you Georgie was my full-time submissive.”
The surprise on her face made Markus smile. “Lukus told me you were a Dom and Rachel told me she’s known you for years because you used to come to the club, but it feels different hearing you say it. Part of me worried they were making it up.”
“A small part of me wishes they were, but they weren’t. From my time experimenting in college until the day I met you, I considered myself a full-fledged, card-carrying Dom. Before I met you, I never considered being in a relationship that didn’t include the BDSM lifestyle.”
“So, what changed when you met me?” she softly asked.
“Brianna, there’s a part of me that wishes I could have met you in one of the BDSM clubs before you met that asshole. I hate that you spent years of your life being brutalized by him, all the time thinking that was the way you were supposed to be treated… but…” Markus had to take a break to get the courage to continue. “But, in truth, I’m glad I didn’t meet you then, because I might have turned out to be the one to hurt you instead of him.”
Brianna gasped. The shock on her face cut him to the core. “I can’t believe you would say that to me, Markus. You’ve never hurt me. Well, not before tonight, anyway.”
“That’s the hard part for me to admit to you, sweetheart,” Markus explained. “I changed when I met you, and the reason I was able to change was because I fell in love with you the first night we met.” He paused, his eyes locked onto hers. “But there’s another darker reason—one I never admitted to anyone, not even to myself. Not until everything blew up yesterday and I finally thought things through. Do you remember the night we sat out on the balcony at the hotel in South Beach watching the ships, talking for hours?”
Her gorgeous smile returned to his lovely wife’s face. “How could I ever forget that night, Markus? It was our first trip away together. We had only been dating a couple months, but I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I was so happy when you surprised me and whisked me away to Miami for the romantic getaway. Not only did we learn so much about each other but…” She blushed. “… it was our first time making love that night. I still can’t believe you waited for me as long as you did, making sure I was ready after all Jake had done to me.”
“It was one of the most important nights of my life, Bri, and I’d planned on telling you about me being a Dom that night, and about how I belonged to The Punishment Pit and how I had hopes of helping you put your fear behind you. But after you told me the details of the horrendous things he’d done and how afraid you were… you were so vulnerable. I could hear it in your voice. You were terrified of being hurt like that again. You associated all of the pain with the lifestyle, so I pledged that night to never again let anyone hurt you like that, not even me.”
Her answer was only a whisper. “I wish you’d told me anyway, Markus.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because, in all truth, before I met you, I wasn’t much different from Jake. I was a terrible Dom to Georgie, and that night as I listened to you talk about how his actions had impacted you, it made me understand that what I’d done to Georgie at the end of our marriage wasn’t really much different than what Jake had done to you. It scared the shit out of me. I actually got sick to my stomach when I realized Georgie could be sitting somewhere at that very moment saying the exact same things about me, and she would have had every right. Do you remember how I got up and rushed to the bathroom at one point?”
“Yes.” It was a whisper.
“I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up from my disgust at myself.”
Brianna had a look of incredulous disbelief on her face. “I don’t… no, I won’t believe it, Markus. There is nothing you can say to me that would make me believe you are even one percent like Jake. Nothing. Do you hear me?” She sounded so strong, her loyalty unwavering.
Damn, I don’t know what I did to deserve this woman.
“You say that now, Bri. But you don’t know what happened… what I did.”
“So, tell me.”
“It was a million little things… and one… fucking… terrible… unforgivable thing.” When Brianna held silent, waiting expectantly, he finally plunged forward. “The last night… the night she’d finally had enough of my near-constant absence and got the courage to leave me… I hurt her. I let my anger take over and I tried to punish her into staying. I broke the most important rule of being a Dom. I didn’t take care of her or protect her. I hurt her verbally, and when that didn’t work, I hurt her physically. I even—fuck—I can’t believe I have to say these words to you. I even blew through her safeword and continued to whip her with a bullwhip until Lukus had to tackle me to make me stop.”
He heard the sharp intake of Brianna’s breath and saw the flicker of shock cross her face before she quickly recovered. Markus waited, expecting to hear the disgust in her voice for what he had done. He wasn’t prepared for her anger as she confronted him.
“Okay, so let’s get a few things straight here, Markus. I’m going to ask you questions and I want you to tell me the truth, do you hear me?”
Markus couldn’t help but crack a smile. She actually sounded like a bossy Domme right that minute.
“Yes, ma’am.” His response brought a small smile to her lips.
“Okay, question number one. Did you allow Georgie to have a safeword before that night?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, difference number one with Jake. I never got to even have a safeword until the very end. Next question. Before that night, had she ever needed to use her safeword?”
“Hell, no.”
“Difference number two with Jake. I begged for him to stop so many times. That last weekend I must have screamed my new safeword ten times and not only did he not stop, but he actually laughed at me. Did you ever laugh at Georgie that night, Markus?” Before he could answer, she continued. “In fact, did you ever laugh at Georgie when you disciplined her or punished her?”
“Of course not, but….” It was Bri’s turn to hold her fingers up to his lips to shush him.
She was on a roll. The next set of questions come so fast he had no time to answer. “Did you ever purposely humiliate her? Tie her down and punish her for hours on end while she begged you to stop? Did you ever cane her until you drew blood to satisfy your own sadism? Did you ever once fuck her so hard she was in pain for weeks after? Not hours. Not days, but fucking weeks because you had torn her?”