Fate.
Nikki took an elevator up to her New York studio apartment floor, feeling despondent at another wasted evening. Was she actually any closer to love? Or was she just exercising stupidity by doing the same thing over and over again without any results? Nikki’s independent fortitude in life had propped her feelings up after every prior failed date. But on this particular evening, her focus on fate had knocked down that foundation of resiliency. Did fate really hold any plans for her? Or did it somehow skip over her due to the abundance of individuals crammed into this gigantic city? Perhaps someone else’s fate was more important than hers. Or, worse yet, had fate decided for some reason that she was unworthy of love in her life? Or maybe, just maybe, fate didn’t exist and she was really just a hamster on a wheel of pointless dates.
All of these questions revolved through her mind even as she opened her apartment’s door. Normally, no matter what happened on her date, it would be overcome by the excitement she’d feel as she saw who would always be welcoming her back in her apartment. But not tonight. She couldn’t fight off the relenting hopelessness which beat at her like a boxer standing over her in the ring. Still, though, she was relieved to see the one guy who was a constant in her life.
“Hey there, Cupcake,” Nikki said as she bent down and picked up her pet dog. It was a Norwich terrier dog who Nikki had brought with her when she’d moved out of her parents’ place several years ago. So, by now, Cupcake was a much older dog - perhaps even older than most of the dogs in his breed usually made it to. But to Nikki, that only meant that he was experienced enough to be an expert in love.
“Oh, don’t give me that look, Cupcake.” Nikki joked as she leaned down and petted him. “I know you’re still mad at me after all these years for naming you Cupcake.”
The dog just gave a fake growl, signaling that these two had joked about this subject many, many times, and Cupcake knew his role to lovingly play in this position.
“Listen, I was a teenager when I named you. I wasn’t thinking about if you were a boy or a girl … I’m sorry, for the hundredth time.”
The dog made a forgiving sigh as he always did, and still closed his eyes at being pet on the back.
“Besides, Cupcake. There are worse things in life than a bad name. Like not being able to find love. For example, take this guy I met tonight – Leaf. I could handle that name if he actually was the one. I guess it just wasn’t fate.”
Nikki didn’t know why she reeled fate into her topic, but she’d said it again. Her realization at saying the word instantly made her reflective about all the thoughts which had lingered in her mind on the way home.
She stopped petting Cupcake, but the dog could tell something was amiss about his owner tonight. Despite being a dog, Cupcake was probably more keen to human emotions, and capable of listening, than even most people. So, he followed Nikki around her apartment while she nestled home.
Thoughts of fate were inescapable. After Nikki returned from changing out of the dress she’d worn for her date, she stood over Cupcake at the edge of her kitchen. The two roommates stared at each other.
“I know, I know,” Nikki said to her dog in a tone of reluctance. “I’m in a funk, Cupcake. I’m not gonna lie.”
Cupcake’s eyes instantly shifted at hearing Nikki’s words. His glance wasn’t just a random movement, though. Nikki knew her dog well enough to know he was telling her something. Then she realized what Cupcake had shifted his eyes to – the kitchen.
Instantly, a smile adorned her face at the ingeniousness of her dog companion. She knew exactly how to break out of her funk. She was going to avoid thinking about love by doing the one other thing she loved in life. Baking.
Chapter 7
“A cupcake for Cupcake,” Nikki laughed while starting to pull out the ingredients she’d need to bake her dessert. Cooking wasn’t just second nature to her, in her mind it was art. And art required perfection. That was something which couldn’t be bought at a store. So, she made her topping from scratch instead of using the dull concoction of store-bought icing. And she always mixed the ingredients by eye rather than using recipes or the rigidity of measuring spoons. Besides, this was a simple cupcake – she’d baked them countless times. She didn’t need directions.
Even then, most people who avoided store-bought icing by making their own homemade recipe didn’t do it right. Most people settled on making icing for cupcakes and other cakes, rather than taking the extra step. Nikki wasn’t going to just make icing, she was going to make frosting … buttercream frosting.
Normal icing was made simply by using powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and milk – before beating it into oblivion so that their molecules all mushed together into a concoction which was too thin for Nikki’s liking. It always baffled Nikki that people would settle on making icing, due to not only how thin and unsatisfying it tasted, but also, it just wasn’t that much harder to make frosting.
Similar to making icing, frosting didn’t take many ingredients at all, just butter, powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla. To the keen observer, one would think that the difference between icing and frosting was the addition of butter. This, however, would be incorrect. There were actually two main differences.
The first difference was that, when making buttercream frosting, she never – ever – used store bought powdered sugar. Instead, she made her own. If someone was to settle on just making icing, then they might as well settle on store bought powdered sugar as well. But not for Nikki’s homemade buttercream frosting. That required the perfect, delicate balance of cane sugar and corn flour. And that was a balance which Nikki had long perfected.
The second and main difference between the two recipes wasn’t just the addition of butter – but how that addition affected the entire process of mixing all of the ingredients. With the standard icing recipe, you just mixed in all of the ingredients and mashed them together. But with the buttercream recipe, you focused on each ingredient one at a time.
It began with tediously churning the stick of butter until it was reduced down to its essence – cream. This often required five minutes or more of focus and attention on just the butter. That may not seem like much time, but it certainly required more attention than just throwing all ingredients into a mixer at one time. And Nikki was willing to spend the time and energy needed to get the foundational ingredient of her frosting just right, so that the rest of the frosting would have a chance of success. When all effort was done, just the decadent first bite into her cupcake would make all of the patience and effort she expended well worthwhile.
As she focused on her craft, Nikki turned on some music in her kitchen. She knew she wanted music to fill the empty void of silence in her apartment, but she didn’t have anything specific in mind. So, she just had a music app create a random playlist for her.
Words from a popular singer-songwriter she’d instantly recognized as “Guy + Guitar” rang through the air: “I wanna grow old with you / I wanna grow old with you / no matter what you do / no I don’t lie / I’ll be by your side and you next to mine / I wanna grow old with …”
“Yuck,” Nikki said to Cupcake out loud as she swiftly turned off the music as quickly as she could mid-lyric. “No love songs tonight.”