Alone now, Effie realized her palm was pressed firmly against Lucian’s hard chest. Heat crept into her cheeks, and she dropped her hand. She knew they’d end up alone together eventually, she just hadn’t expected it to happen quite so soon.
It was hard to meet his eyes, so she stared at a spot in the middle of his forehead instead. Should an immortal have such a heavy crease between their brows? Maybe immortality couldn’t completely counteract all of Lucian’s time spent scowling.
Effie’s lips twitched. Serves him right.
“I heard about your vision.”
It took a second for his words to sink in, but when they did, her face scrunched in confusion. “In the five minutes since I left them?”
“The Triumvirate have an efficient way of communicating.”
It was true they could speak directly into someone’s mind, but Effie had always thought it required the person to at least be somewhat close to them physically. Then she remembered how the Triumvirate had been able to announce to all of the Keepers that Elysia was under attack. So maybe she didn’t know much of anything at all about what the Triumvirate could or couldn’t do.
“Mmm,” she hummed noncommittally.
“Effie?”
“Hmm?”
“Why won’t you look at me?”
Her eyes snapped to his. “I am looking at you.”
One side of his mouth curled in a mocking smile, but his eyes were serious. “Are you okay?”
“Why does everybody keep asking me that?”
His thumb brushed lightly over her cheekbone, just beneath the purple smudges she’d noticed in the mirror before trudging out of her room that morning.
“It might have something to do with the fact that you almost bled out yesterday. Or it could just be because despite your best efforts to the contrary, people care about you.”
The words were meant to provoke her temper, and any other time it might have worked, but his voice was soft and his eyes more concerned than she’d ever seen. He’d been worried about her.
Some of her tension ebbed, and Effie took a deep breath, deciding to take a risk and tell him the truth. “I feel like I’ve been trampled by a pack of Daejaran wolves, and that’s just emotionally. I probably look better than I feel, truth be told.”
Creases bracketed his mouth as he frowned.
“Lucian, about last night . . .”
If his gaze was intense before it was molten now.
Effie tried not to cringe as her stomach twisted itself in knots. The words needed to be said so that things could go back to some semblance of normal between them, but she’d rather clean the floor with her tongue than have this conversation.
“I-I’m sorry, that I . . . put you in that situation. You were right, I was drunk and not thinking clearly. It was a mistake.” The words left her in a single breath, her cheeks burning by the time she was finished speaking.
His expression hadn’t changed, his eyes still pinning her in place. “And what happened after? Was that a mistake too?”
“After?” she asked, her voice high and chest tight.
“After you left me.”
He barely spoke above a whisper, but she flinched.
“It’s not like Kieran made it seem. I mean, yes, I went to his room, but I changed my mind before . . . before I made a mistake I couldn’t fix,” she finished lamely.
Perhaps she didn’t owe him an explanation. She was a grown woman, after all. Who she decided to take to bed was really none of his business, but it was important to her that he understood what had—and hadn’t—happened.
Lucian’s eyes burned as he stared at her. “I see.”
“I was hurt—”
Lucian recoiled as if she’d struck him.
“—and I just wanted to—”
“Effie, stop, it’s okay.”
“—feel what it was like—”
“You don’t have to explain,” he tried again, this time lifting his hands and gently grabbing the sides of her arms.
“—to be wanted.”
Before she finished speaking, he’d wrapped his arms around her and pulled her roughly against him. One of his hands cupped her head and the other banded across her back.
Effie froze, stunned by his reaction. Lucian is . . . hugging me.
He rested his cheek against the top of her head and held her. She could hear the thundering beat of his heart; it was a twin to her own. It took a full breath before she relaxed against him, tentatively wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Perhaps this time I am the one that owes you an apology,” he rumbled above her.
“Lucian—”
“Shhh,” he whispered. “Now it’s my turn.”
Effie clamped her lips together.
“I shouldn’t have let you leave with things unresolved between us. If nothing else, I should have saw you back safely to your room. I am your Guardian; your well-being is my priority.”
She shrank into herself. Mother take me, he feels guilty because he believes he failed in his duty.
“But Effie?”
“Hmm?” she asked, praying her voice sounded steady.
Lucian shifted, the hand cupping her head releasing her so that his fingers could run along her cheek and gently tilt up her chin. “Don’t ever think I didn’t want you.”
Her heart stuttered, and she forgot how to breathe. All she could see was the naked desire shining in his eyes. He blinked and the moment was lost, his feelings tucked away behind his carefully crafted façade.
Effie sucked in a ragged breath, feeling like she’d been running for hours.
“I’m sorry for my part in causing you pain. It was never my intention.”
“Mine either,” she whispered.
Lucian held her a moment longer, before moving both hands back to her arms and taking a small step backward.
She shivered, her body instantly missing his heat.
“Does that help?” he asked.
“Help with what?” she asked, feeling like she’d lost the thread of their conversation.
“Ease some of the Daejaran wolf trampling?”
Effie snickered. Lucian was trying to make a joke. A sweet one, at that. As she reflected on his question, she was pleasantly surprised to find that their talk had done much to ease some of the previous night’s sting. The pressure that had settled in the vicinity of her chest had fled, allowing her to take her first easy breath all morning.
“Yes,” she admitted, smiling shyly.
“Good,” he said, returning her smile with one of his own. “Let’s get you back to your room, then, so you may rest.”
He gestured for her to precede him down the hall. Effie turned and had only gone a few steps before he spoke again.
“Maybe this time you’ll follow one of my orders.”
Effie stared at Lucian, her eyes wide before she tilted her head back and laughed. “No promises.”
Chapter 2
Effie rolled and stretched, feeling fully rested for the first time since coming to the citadel. Still mildly disorientated from sleep, it took a moment for her to realize the orbs of enchanted light flickering around her chamber were the bright gold of morning and not the soft amber of afternoon or early evening.