Finding a way out of her shadow. Searching for the real me.
That was the odd dynamic of my relationship with Madison. Even though we were practically carbon copies of each other, we were also vastly different. Just by looking at us, it was easy to tell us apart. I’d always looked up to my sister. Even when she’d go out of her way to hurt me and make me feel like I was two feet tall, she was my blood, she was the other part of me, and she was my better half. She was my best friend, and despite all the bad, I loved her to death. A piece of me was missing, and I was sure I’d never get it back.
Sex for the first time was a disaster. It was so bad, I even contemplated never doing the deed again. It hurt like hell. He lasted for all of five minutes, and I didn’t even have an orgasm—something everyone always raved about during sex. Over the years, I’ve had a total of three sexual partners, and none of them were great. I think that’s why I’ve shied away from sex and from relationships. It’s too much work to fake it, only to feel frustrated when you’re done because you have to masturbate in order to get yourself off. Having to put your faith and your trust in someone else and invest the time didn’t appeal to me.
It scared me, actually.
Putting that much faith and trust in a single person is damning. Because at the end of the day, there’s always the chance that person will let you down. Truth is, I’m scared of falling. Falling so hard, there will be no one there to catch me. I don’t ever want to rely on anyone for anything, least of all an orgasm, when I’m just fine doing it on my own.
But sex last night with Baz? It was nothing short of incredible. I’ve never, ever had so many orgasms wrung from my body. I’ve never felt so connected or content with someone. There was an easy kinship with Baz that I’ve not experienced before. I should’ve just told the girls about my sexcapade with him last night, but truthfully? I didn’t want to share the experience with anyone else. It was mine and mine alone. Baz was so far out of my league I didn’t want to hear the girls tell me how much they thought so, too. About all the ways I could better myself, ways I could trick him into being mine. I wanted to live in my little bubble of happiness for a while longer, even if it meant lying. I’ve been lying to Vera and Kat for years. One more omission of the truth won’t hurt anyone.
I shove my hands into the water under the faucet, and my mind immediately drifts back to last night when Baz and I parted ways. After the conversation we had in front of the fire turned into another round of sex, Baz helped me to my feet and walked me back to my suite like a complete gentleman. The walk was silent, a little tense, but not as uncomfortable as you’d think it would be after having sex with a stranger.
“How long are you here for?”
I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Not long. Tomorrow, I’m going out with some friends, and the next day, in the evening, we fly back to New York.”
“That’s a shame. I had fun tonight, Mackenzie.”
I turn to him and laugh at the smirk on his face.
“Oh, I’m sure you did, Mr. King.”
It’s his turn to chuckle. “Tell me you didn’t have fun, too.”
There’s no point in lying about it. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. So thank you. I don’t think I’ve had a proper orgasm before tonight.”
Without warning, Baz stops walking, and I face him with raised brows. His expression looks like a mixture of shock and pity. “Do we have time to rectify this further? Break some records?”
I laugh, and the sound echoes down the plush hall. “I think you’ve already rectified it about three times tonight.”
“Four, actually,” he corrects.
I smirk at him. “Keeping track now, are we, Mr. King? Better be careful. I wouldn’t want to tarnish that playboy reputation of yours.”
His eyes gleam wickedly as he leans into me. “It’ll be our secret, dirty girl,” he whispers seductively in my ear and shoots me a wink. My thighs slam together in response. It’s a wonder I’m able to remain standing.
When we make it to the front of my suite, I turn toward him, struck by the startling realization that I don’t want to say goodbye yet. I open my mouth, about to tell him that I want him to stay, but then wisely decide not to. That’s not what tonight was. Not the start to a fling or a new relationship. It was just sex. I can’t look into it more than that. I came here for my sister. For answers. For justice. Not this. I can’t lose sight of that just because I had some really incredible sex tonight.
“Thank you again, Baz, for tonight. I had a good time. And the sex was pretty good, too.” I wink at him playfully, and he throws his head back, barking out a laugh. I can’t contain my smile as I watch him enjoy himself with my playful banter.
“You are not like most women, Mackenzie. I’ll give you that.”
His words have my smile faltering. I feel like the insecure Kenzie again. He must notice my change because he steps into me and fists his hand in my hair. “It’s a good thing, dirty girl. You’re one in a million.”
My breath escapes in a stutter as he stares down at me. He leans in, and I close the distance, pressing my lips against his. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I let out a stuttered breath, my hands sliding around his broad, muscular shoulders as I deepen the kiss.
“It was a pleasure,” he breathes as we part, staring into my eyes intently. “Good night, Mackenzie.”
“Good night, Baz.”
Reluctantly, I let myself inside the room and lean against the door after I’ve closed it, replaying everything that happened over the course of the night.
I stand rooted to the spot, trying to wrap my head around the strange turn of events. That was possibly the hottest man I’ve ever met in my life—who thought I was gorgeous—and I didn’t even think to get his number? All because I wanted to stick to a foolish plan?
Fuck me.
Snapping out of my internal musings, I click off the bathroom light and stride toward the floor-length mirror. As I stare at my reflection, I force thoughts of Baz out of my head and focus on why I’m here. Tonight is the night. We’re here, so I can find out the truth, and I can’t mess this up.
My palms slide down the material of the dress that clings to my skin. It’s a black satin mini dress with a slinky cowl neck and an open back. Showing off my legs and the perfect amount of thigh, it doesn’t come off as too slutty and leaves just enough skin exposed to have every male within a one-mile radius wondering what lies beneath. My D cup breasts are barely contained by the slinky cowl neck that dips dangerously low. I paired the dress with my black Choca Spike Louboutins, courtesy of Katherine.
My makeup is painted on to perfection. Normally, I don’t wear this much makeup, but in order for tonight to work, I needed a change, and a full face of makeup with a dark smoky eye was enough to make my hazel eyes pop. It’s enough to mask the old Mackenzie with the new version—the one who would do anything to find out the truth. Anything to make the bastards from my past pay for what they did to my sister and me.
The sound of knuckles rapping on the suite door has me spinning away from the mirror and reaching for my clutch on the dresser. I don’t even have the door opened all the way before I hear the girls’ rowdy catcalls.