My core twitched just looking at it, craving him inside me.
Then I swallowed, thinking an utterly cliché virginal thought of ‘how the fricking heck is that going to fit in there?’
But he would fit. Because we fit. And I was ready. Beyond ready for him. He’d made sure of that. My muscles were not tight with nerves as they had been before. My muscles were all but liquid underneath my skin.
I did feel a spark of nerves, but it was physically impossible to manifest the entire nervous reaction that all girls got right before the act itself.
I did find it physically possible to push off the bed and stand on shaky feet in front of Heath.
He immediately gripped my hips to steady me, as if he glimpsed that small shake to my body. But then again, he was responsible for it, and he was very in tune with my body, as he demonstrated earlier.
“For what I’ve got planned, you’re gonna be on the bed,” he murmured, yanking my naked body to his.
I let out a gasp as our bare skin touched and a very obvious part of him pressed into me.
“Well, for the first time, at least,” he continued, eyes dark. “Once you’re ready, I’ll educate you on the many places that aren’t a bed that I can fuck you on.”
My pussy clenched at the promise. At the need for him to make good on it. And he would. He was a man who kept his promises, after all.
“Well, for what I’ve got planned, I’ve got to be right about,” I trailed my fingers down his chest, dancing over his scars and then moving to kneel at his feet. “Right about here,” I breathed against him and his entire body stiffened.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “Baby, this is meant to be about you,” he protested in a thick voice.
I looked up at him while I fastened my hand around his length.
He let out another curse.
“Oh, but what was it I said before?” I asked sweetly, moving slowly up and down. “Turnabout’s fair play.”
And then I moved my mouth to fasten right onto that beautiful cock of his.
It was not an act I’d enjoyed in the past. Especially because every teenage boy is desperate for it and it never really felt organic. But with Heath, I loved it.
With every swipe of my tongue, with every time I twisted my hand and mouth in opposite directions—Cosmopolitan told me to do this—I coaxed his surrender. I was in control, I had the power.
I would’ve stayed for a lot longer if I could’ve, despite the fact my knees were protesting, and my jaw was beginning to ache.
But Heath had other ideas.
I was hauled up his body and his hand clutched my neck. “Fuck, baby,” he growled. “Are you real? ‘Cause I swear to Christ, I’m worried about the state of reality right now.”
I pressed my lips to his and he didn’t hesitate to open to me, the act of kissing him after what I was just doing sending shoots of desire down my stomach.
“We don’t need to worry about the state of reality,” I whispered against his mouth. “We need to worry about the state of my virginity and it’s still intact. I’d like for you to rectify that immediately.”
His eyes lost their lazy satisfaction and his hand tightened on my neck to the point of pain. “Sunshine, we don’t have to do that. You can stay perfectly intact. For someone who isn’t gonna leave with no return date, no fuckin’ forwarding address. Someone better. I’m happy with this.” His hand trailed downwards to gently tweak my nipple.
I let out a little moan.
His hand trailed lower. Way lower.
I let out what could only be described as a cry of pleasure.
His eyes flared. “I’m more than happy with this,” he murmured. “We can continue to do this. I’m not gonna push you.”
I took his wrist in my grasp, moved his fingers to intertwine with mine and then led him to my entrance. Coaxed him inside me.
He let out a growl and moved his fingers inside me while I somehow managed the feat of walking us backward, so the bed hit the backs of my thighs.
“You don’t need to push me,” I said, voice broken with the movement of his fingers. “I’m going to push you. I’m going to have to demand you make love to me. Right now.”
Another eye flare.
His fingers stopped moving. They left me gently.
He didn’t speak. Instead, he pushed me onto the bed.
A drawer opened and closed.
Foil crinkled.
Ah, he was thinking of practical things that hadn’t even crossed my mind. Despite the fact I’d preached safe sex to my much more sexually active friends. I didn’t used to understand how anyone could get so caught up in something and not remember to protect themselves.
But it was impossible to protect myself emotionally.
Heath was doing what he could physically.
His body covered mine seconds later. And he was kissing me. Again, this was different than every one before. Probably because we were both naked, on a bed and all of his delicious manly parts were rubbing against all the right places.
But also because this kiss was the last kiss we’d have...before. Everything would change after.
He pulled back so his eyes met mine. “I’m not gonna lie to you, baby, this is gonna hurt, though I’m sure you know that. But the next time I’ll make it better for you. I’ll make you scream so loud that you’ll lose your voice the same second you lose everything but my cock inside you.”
Wetness rushed between my legs at his words.
“Heath,” I whispered, wrapping my leg around his hip and pulling him down.
His lips pressed against mine at the same time he pressed against me.
The sensation of him pressing into me, probing all the sensitive areas he’d worshipped before he yanked me closer to a climax I didn’t think I’d have the energy to reach again so soon.
But then he pressed harder, pressed inside.
And at first, the pleasure battled with the pain, my primed body submitting to him.
But there was only so much submitting my body could do before he had to push through without submission. With pain.
“Polly,” he murmured. “Look at me. Need your beautiful eyes.”
I didn’t even realize I’d had them squeezed shut in my discomfort.
When I opened them, Heath’s eyes searched mine. His entire body was taut, his jaw tight enough to shatter if he clenched it any more.
“Keep lookin’ at me,” he demanded. Then he thrust into me with a brutality that I knew was actually gentler than the slow and agonizing movements of before.
I cried out in mostly pain and a leftover of pleasure. I kept my promise, I didn’t squeeze my eyes shut through the burning pain of him breaking through that wall, of that unpleasant fullness that almost felt like I was being torn in two.
Heath’s mouth pressed onto mine, gently at first, then more insistent. He demanded a response out of me and I gave it to him. And I got so lost in the kiss that I didn’t flinch when he started to move, when my sensitive body started to protest.
I kept kissing him.
I dug my nails into the skin of his back.
He growled against my mouth.
And whether it was the kiss, the growl, or Heath himself, the pain started to subside. Slowly. Much slower than his thrusts, but enough for each to yield less pain and more of that beautiful pleasure that seemed like it was from a lifetime ago.