Like her favorite dessert was caramel drizzled cheesecake.
The sun had set, and the solar lights around the area clicked on. Before I made it out of the kitchen, I heard the noise of a door on the other side of the house opening and closing. On a sigh, I headed out to the terrace as I planned.
Enissa wasn’t there.
This didn’t come as a surprise to me. Part of me anticipated her departure. The other part of me hoped she would take a chance on spending more time with me. She chose to leave. I understood it. Therefore, I allowed her this play.
Setting the plates down, I took my seat and sipped some wine before indulging in the dessert.
I was a patient man.
There was nowhere for her to run. If she thought my bedroom was a retreat, I’d allow her the false security for the moment. After all, I had locked the other bedroom doors so she could only access one area of the expansive home. All the other doors were simply going to tease her every time she tried and failed to open one.
Sitting back in the chair, I enjoyed the quiet sounds of the waves rolling in. Reaching in the pocket of my shorts, I pulled out my phone. Ignoring the multiple missed calls from Beacon, I found the contact I was seeking and made the call.
“Lo,” Onyx answered on the third ring.
“Just checking in.”
He laughed. “I’m not your father. No check-in necessary, Garrett. You’ve managed to be gone forty-eight hours. Chill the fuck out. We’re good, man.”
“I don’t doubt you are,” I told him truthfully.
Why I called, I didn’t exactly know. Simply put, I wasn’t good at letting go. When I left, I knew I would be away for weeks, maybe longer. I made the necessary arrangements. But as a man who rarely took time off, this setup was easier said than done.
Reaching in my pocket again, I lifted the lighter from its place and pulled it out. Flipping it open, I didn’t strike the flint. Instead, I thought of the four boys we once were. The four boys who found this lighter in a field. The four boys who grew into men the instant the flame danced in the hay on that fateful night.
“Did you ever think we would come this far?” I asked, thinking back to everything we experienced together.
“Fuck no,” he stated truthfully.
“Shit’s good.” I let out a huff. “Ever worry it’s too good?”
“Way I see shit, we paid our dues to all the fucked up pain early. Life now should be easy street.”
“Maybe for you.”
“Nah, Garrett, all of us.”
I paused and let the sound of the ocean soothe me.
“You good?” he asked. “Seem somber tonight. Happens with you from time to time, but to call me. This is your vacation, Garrett. Relax. So again, I’ll ask, you good?”
“Damn sure ain’t bad.”
“Take a month if you need it. For real, other than a weekend here and there, you never take time off. Put your toes in the sand. Get drunk. Fuck a stranger. I don’t know, but do something for you.”
I smirked. “Ah fuck, Onyx Blake, you’re gettin’ soft.”
To this, he laughed. “Ain’t a damn thing soft about me, especially my cock. Ask Torryn.”
“I don’t wanna think about your cock, you demented fuck,” I joked.
The tension eased as I went over a few business items with Onyx. We ended the call, and I sat out under the stars waiting. Enissa didn’t return to join me. Honestly, inside I knew she wouldn’t. Still, I waited for a bit … actually a little hopeful. This was a strange emotion for me; long ago I stopped holding onto things like hope or promises.
Standing, I tucked the phone and lighter in my pocket.
I strolled down the beach a little ways. The sand was cool under my feet compared to the heat earlier today. Stopping at the fire pit area, I leaned over, picked up the fire starter I left here when I prepped the space yesterday, and lifted it. Pulling the old Zippo lighter from my pocket, I flipped the top, struck the flint, and lit the fire starter before tossing it on the wood in the pit.
The scent of lemon and citronella filled my nostrils from the specialty fire starter Ellen Sue ordered for out here. It kept the bugs away, I would give her that. She liked the smell, and just like the furniture of my penthouse, Ellen Sue got whatever the fuck she wanted, including smell-good fire starters. Plopping down on the wicker couch, I watched the white caps of the waves roll in.
Over and over.
The soft glow of the fire gave color to the dark expanse in front of me.
Stretching out on the couch, I listened to the water.
The waves, they quieted as the ocean pulled back the tide, and there was this pause in time before the water rolled onto the shore in a crash before again quieting for the journey back to the sea.
Life was like the waves.
It sucked you in and crashed you down from one circumstance to the next but always continued to draw you back whether you landed hard or soft. No matter what life threw at me, I continued moving like the ocean.
This place was easy to lose myself in. Being here, I wasn’t Garrett Monroe, Attorney at Law. I wasn’t Garrett Monroe signing off paperwork to make dreams come true for families. This private sanctuary, I was simply Garrett, once a boy, now a man finding himself again.
From time to time the past had a way of creeping into my head. As much as I wanted to shut it all out, I couldn’t.
“Garrett,” Amos’ voice boomed, jolting me from sleep.
I sat up in my bed. Fear gripped me like never before. His shadow stalked toward me in the veil of night. I felt the firm grip of his hand on the back of my neck before my mind could register what was happening.
He yanked me up out of the bed. I struggled to get my footing. Half-dragging me, he carried me from the room I shared with Onyx, Paxton, and Dane. With a shove, he pushed me away from him, and I stumbled before standing up straight and tall.
He wouldn’t break me. No matter what he did to me, I wouldn’t let him get to me. I was determined.
“Your grandmother is dead.”
The air left my lungs. The room spun. My legs were weak. My mind was a wreck.
“Don’t shed a single tear,” Amos spoke, but his words fell on deaf ears.
The barrage of emotions assaulted my mind, my heart, and my soul truly shattered. The tears fell.
They fell for the woman who gave me love.
The back of his hand came harshly across my cheek.
“Do not cry, you weak boy.”
I could taste the metallic of my blood inside my mouth. It was bitter as was my heart.
The woman who loved me most in this world was gone.
“These moments show a man’s strength. His will to remain steady. His control,” Amos muttered, and I shut down.
The tears continued to fall, and the hits continued to barrage my feeble body. I was not a man but a teen boy who lost everything. My life would never be the same again.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
I knew what it was to lose everything. The next morning, I couldn’t open my eyes because they were swollen shut and crusted over in my blood. There wasn’t a single inch of me that didn’t hurt, but none of it compared to the reality…
I had no one to love me anymore.
Unlike the others in the orphanage, I had a family with my grandmother. I knew what it was to have a secure home filled with love and memories.