“I have it covered,” she says.
“Because you’re efficient.” I reiterate what she said last night.
“Exactly.” Her head nods, emphasizing the word.
“As long as you’ve got it all on your own, I guess I’ll see you around, Emily Post of Chicago,” I say, fighting the smile on my lips as I labor through the length of her name.
“See you around,” she says although she doesn’t sound so sure of herself. Then I remember the fairy tales she read to my daughter. The princess saves herself. Somehow, I don’t recall that being exactly how each story went.
Rule 5
Speak from a place of honesty
[Emily]
I have no choice but to return to Chicago for one night. I need additional clothes and my laptop. I never travel without it, and it’s just my luck the one time I do is when I need it the most. Isn’t that the way things go? While I officially have the time off work, I’ll need to check in. This also means I need internet service, which Nana’s home does not have.
Sigh. One more thing added to the list.
It will be a seven-hour trek to the big city and seven hours back. I’m setting my original overnight bag in my trunk when I look up to see Jess’s truck parked in the Carpenter’s driveway. I told Sue I’d ring her doorbell when I was ready to leave. I’ve already said my goodbyes to Nana, assuring her I’d be back before lunchtime tomorrow. Leaving Nana worries me but taking her with me isn’t an option. If she’s confused in her own home, there’s no telling how she would react on a road trip.
As I enter the Carpenter’s yard, Jess and Joe stop talking. Katie sits in the front seat of Jess’s truck. He must take her everywhere, which redefines overprotective father.
“Morning, Emily,” Joe greets me. “Sue should be right out.”
“Thanks again, Joe. I really appreciate this.”
Jess looks from Joe to me, his jaw clenching as he crosses his arms. It should be a crime to look so good in a gray tee and faded jeans. His hair is pulled back in his signature short ponytail, but he’s skipped the bandana today, and I’m wondering if it’s because of Nana’s comments. It was so embarrassing, yet I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know who he was or what she was saying, and I wasn’t comfortable having him see her like that. He’d already judged me at the Mueller’s barbecue, accusing me of not taking care of my own. Was that how he put it? Either way, I don’t need his judgment today.
“I should be back tomorrow morning.” As I state my plan to Joe, Jess eyes me but doesn’t speak, and I don’t have anything to say to him. Sue exits the house, carrying a bag over her shoulder, and I turn to her.
“Good morning. Again, I’m so grateful for this.”
“You take all the time you need,” Sue states, coming up to me and offering a surprising hug of support. She’s been a good neighbor and friend to Nana, and I owe her so much. She pats my arm as she says, “She’s going to be just fine.”
Jess’s eyes remain focused on me, but I ignore him and shift mine to Katie inside his truck.
“Bye, Katie. I’ll see you when I get back.” I wave at her as I lean around her father, having no idea if I’ll see her tomorrow, but still feeling the need to assure her I’ll be back. I speak to her as though I expect her to answer me, but I’m getting used to carrying on a one-sided conversation. Her little eyes widen. She’s expressive that way, but I can’t read her. I don’t know her well enough despite what I said yesterday about us fairy-tale girls being kindred souls. Jess must have thought I was crazy. I know he’s concerned about her attachment to me. I see it in the hesitant look in his eyes when he watches me with her. His eyes I can read, and that intense denim stare says he hopes I’ll go away and never come back.
I step away from him with a chin tip like he gives me, and Sue and I cross to Nana’s yard.
I didn’t hear Jess’s truck door open.
I didn’t hear the little feet chasing me.
I didn’t pay attention to the call from Jess of his daughter’s name.
What I do register is the tiny arms circling my knees almost taking me down to the grass. I stumble and catch myself before falling forward.
“What…?” Sue gasps beside me as I make every effort not to trip and try to twist as Katie’s little arms clutch at the back of my thighs.
“Katie?” I question, but she isn’t releasing me. It isn’t that she has unparalleled strength as a child but the awkwardness with which she grasps my legs holds me in place. Eventually, I’m able to spin, breaking her grasp long enough to lower to her level and pull her into an embrace. She moves her arms to my neck, wrapping them around me as if her life depends on it.
“Katie bug, sweetheart,” I coo. I stand, picking her up, and rub up and down her thin spine as I turn and face her father. The expression on his face is a mix of pain and confusion, the second of which must match mine. I don’t understand what’s happening.
“What’s this?” I ask Katie but hold my gaze on Jess as if he can explain. Katie’s little arms tighten, almost choking me. Jess shakes his head in disbelief.
“I’ll be back,” I whisper because I cannot think of anything else to say to him or her. “It’s only one night, Katie bug.” For some reason, I’m reminded of nights my mother went out when I was a child, and I was afraid she’d never come back. I had no basis for feeling that way other than the fact our father left long before I knew him. My mother would eventually leave forever, dying when I was a pre-teen and leaving me to struggle through the awkward years on my own. But I doubt any of Katie’s emotions are comparable to my past experiences.
Jess’s face morphs, the edginess growing somehow edgier as I continue to give his daughter reassurances. He’s tense, but his eyes reveal he’s not upset, just frustrated. He doesn’t know why she’s acting like this anymore than I do.
“Katie,” I try again. “I need to go, honey, but I will be back.” Not to stay indefinitely, but for a little while. My hand moves to her bird-like arms, circling them in an attempt to loosen her hold, but she isn’t letting go.
“Just give her to me,” Jess demands, but his voice is monotone, puzzled even. He steps forward, placing his hands on her sides, attempting to tug her free. He quickly realizes she’s the one latched onto me and not the other way around.
“Katie,” he snaps, but she shakes her head in the crook of my neck. He reaches for her again, and Katie breaks her grasp with a wiggle from what I assume is a ticklish touch. Jess sweeps her into his chest. She hugs him like she embraced me, and he immediately turns his back to me as if I’m the one who did him wrong. Only his child has her hand outstretched, reaching for me as tears stream down her face without any sound.
I don’t understand what just happened, but I find my own eyes well with stinging liquid.
“You should probably just go, Emily,” Sue says gently from beside me, and I nod, though I don’t move at first. My heart patters so fiercely I can’t move my feet. I watch as Jess sets his daughter in his truck before I turn to Sue and follow her directive. Without another glance back at them, I step toward my car and enter it with heavy feet and an even heavier heart.