At the mention of Cobi, my heart starts to beat oddly and my stomach drops. When I woke up this morning, Cobi wasn’t sitting on my couch a few inches away, where he was last night when I fell asleep. At some point, he maneuvered us so that I was tucked tightly against his chest with his strong arm around my waist, holding me securely against him so I wouldn’t fall off the couch. I came awake to the feel of him around me and his breath whispering against my neck.
I knew then that I couldn’t handle what was happening, so I did what any sane girl would do. I pretended nothing happened at all. I quickly and carefully got away from him, stood up, and started getting ready for work. I expected him to be gone when I got out of the shower or to still be asleep, but instead, he was in my kitchen making me coffee and breakfast, as if he had done it a million times. He was also still there when Brie showed up to take me to work, and even though she didn’t ask and he didn’t say much, I knew she was curious as to why he was at my place so early.
“Cobi?” I try my hand at playing dumb, but her eyes narrow on mine.
“Cobi Mayson, who was at your house this morning.”
“Oh, that?” I wave my hand out in front of me. “That was nothing. He’s just being nice.”
“Did he stay with you last night?” I start to open my mouth, but before I can make up a fib, she continues. “And don’t lie. I know when you’re lying to me.”
I chew on my bottom lip, something that is a horrible habit of mine, and then mutter, “He slept on the couch.”
“He slept on your couch?”
“Well…” I pause, trying to come up with something to say, and then figure a half-truth will soothe her. “I think he knew I would have a hard time sleeping if I was alone.” I don’t feel guilty for leaving out the fact that I also slept on the couch, that I’m pretty sure I slept better than I have in months, maybe years, and that I woke up with him holding me.
“You could have had me or Kenyon there, or like I said yesterday, you could have stayed with us.”
“I didn’t exactly invite him over, Brie. He showed up and kind of refused to leave, even when I asked him to go a few dozen times.”
She blinks at me. “What?”
“Like I said, he’s being nice.”
“Right, and this morning when I got there, he was in your kitchen cleaning up what looked like breakfast dishes.”
“He was hungry.” My stomach flutters like it did this morning when I came out of my bedroom to eggs, toast, and coffee, and him waiting for me.
“Exactly how hard did you hit your head?”
“My head is fine.” I roll my eyes.
“Okay, so then tell me the truth about you and Cobi.”
“There is nothing to tell you.”
“Honey—” She sits forward in her chair, her voice dropping like she’s talking to a small child. “—a man does not sit guard over a woman he is not interested in, or make her breakfast.”
“He’s just being nice. He’s a cop.” I shrug. “It’s his job to look after people.”
“I’m sure.” She rolls her eyes. “Or you’re totally oblivious and not seeing the fact that he wants you in a bad way.”
“I’m not interested,” I lie. I totally am interested, but there is no way I’d go there—not with him. Him being a cop is just icing on the cake. If he knew my family’s history, he would… well, I don’t know what he would do. But there is no way I would subject him to my family or my past.
She shakes her head, her long hair bouncing across her shoulders. “I don’t think he cares if you are or if you aren’t interested. Really, I don’t think he’s the kind of man who understands the word no.”
“Can we stop talking about this? There is really nothing going on between him and me, and we need to work.”
“He wants you.”
“Brie,” I sigh.
She shakes her head again. “He’s Cobi Mayson, Hadley. Every girl in school crushed on him, and I saw him yesterday and this morning. I have no doubt that every woman who he crosses paths with crushes on him now. He’s gorgeous and you’re you. You’re beautiful, a little bit of a pain in the ass, but sweet. I’m sure he’s seeing all that is you and thinking he wants in there.”
“I think you’re overthinking this whole thing.” I grab my purse from the drawer in my desk and stand. “I have to go. I need to take a cab to pick up my car then I need to get to the Shelps’ for their home study.” I walk around my desk.
“Fine.” She gets up from her chair but stops me, wrapping her hand around my arm before I can make it to the door. “If he is interested, will you please give him a chance?”
Even though it’s never going to happen, I nod.
“You deserve good things in your life, Hadley.”
“I have good things in my life,” I respond instantly, and then continue quietly. “I have you and Kenyon, and a job I love doing. I’m happy, so please stop thinking I’m not.”
Her eyes search mine before going soft. “You could be happier.”
She might be right, but I learned at a very early age to never put my trust in a man, and to never expect a man to be the one to make me happy. I don’t want to be so cynical, but I gave up on the opposite sex a long time ago. I’m twenty-eight years old, and the only guy I have ever really trusted is Kenyon. It took me years to get to that point with him, because all the other men I know have been druggies, liars, and cheaters. My dad, the first man to ever be a fixture in my life, was all three of those things.
“I love you and totally understand that you want good things for me, but I really can’t talk about this right now. I need to go.”
“Tonight, dinner with me and Kenyon. We’ll talk about it then.”
“Brie—”
“Hadley, I’m worried about you,” she whispers, sliding her hand down my arm, taking my hand, and giving it a squeeze. “You just went through something traumatic, and like always, you’re pretending like nothing happened, like nothing has changed. As your best friend, I need to know you’re really okay. Please give me that.”
I swallow and bite my bottom lip before nodding. I know she worries about me; she always has. She just doesn’t understand that sometimes it’s easier to pretend like everything is perfect than to acknowledge how messed up things really are. I don’t like going into the past. I don’t want to relive everything I have been through, because at the end of the day it’s a waste of time to constantly look back. And I know firsthand that it takes more courage to keep moving forward.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she says, and I nod once more.
I hurry out of my office, out of the building, and call a cab. When I get my car, it’s just like Cobi said—dented up but still drivable. Thank God.
_______________
“You fucking bitch. You think you can fucking judge me? You think you can come in here and from a five-minute look around decide it’s the right thing to do to take my kids away from me?”
“Mr. Shelp, please calm down,” I urge softly, keeping my distance from the man who is standing a few feet away in the open door to his home. “If you clean things up, and—”