‘You can use my good shower gel,’ Leila said in a whisper. ‘I hide it from Ian or his balls smell of coconuts for weeks.’
Minnie stepped into the shower and let the warm water stream down her face. She scrubbed at her skin, trying to wash the day-old make-up and smell of the club from her pores. Her neck still felt stiff from sleeping on the toilet floor, and she rubbed it from side to side between her palms. Leila’s hand reached around the bathroom door.
‘Just leaving you some clothes for when you’re ready,’ she said.
Minnie looked over at the door where Leila had hung a red and white polka-dot dress. Leila was not a conservative dresser; most of her outfits were even more colourful than her kaleidoscopic hair. She was like the child who insisted on using every colour in the Crayola box.
Twenty minutes later, Minnie presented herself in the living room.
‘I cannot wear this,’ she said.
Ian burst out laughing. ‘It’s Minnie Mouse!’
‘Don’t be rude. You look lovely,’ said Leila, scowling at Ian.
‘You’re not taking me to Disneyland, are you?’ Minnie asked, hands on her hips.
‘Nothing that exciting,’ said Leila. ‘I’m taking you to lunch. I’m tired of you saying you never want to do anything for your birthday. It’s your thirtieth, it’s a big deal – we have to mark the occasion somehow.’
‘Oh man, you’re old,’ said Ian, taking his eyes from the screen to make a face at Minnie. His bottom lip trembled and his eyes grew wide in mock horror.
‘Ha-ha,’ said Minnie, pointing at the TV screen where ‘GAME OVER’ was flashing in aggressive capital letters. Ian made a ‘fahhh’ noise and threw the controller down onto the sofa next to him. He pulled off his cap and briskly ran his hands back and forth over his head.
‘I’m not sure we should let Minnie in the flat if she’s got this curse hanging over her. I don’t need the ceiling falling in when I’m sitting in my pants.’
Minnie gave an exaggerated eye roll. Ian had been Leila’s boyfriend for three years and he and Minnie had quickly fallen into the roles of bickering siblings. They liked to play-fight for Leila’s attention.
‘If the ceiling started falling in, would you move from that sofa?’ Leila asked, waving a finger at the scene in front of her. ‘I bet Greg doesn’t sit around all day playing video games in his pants, does he Minnie?’
‘Don’t knock the pants,’ said Ian. ‘Me and these pants have been through some good times. You and these pants have been through some good times.’
Ian raised his eyebrows. Leila tried to stifle a smile.
‘Shit, I must call Greg. Can I plug in my phone?’ said Minnie.
Minnie moved an array of multicoloured nail varnishes from Leila’s dressing table and plugged her phone into the bedside charger. She sat on the bed while Leila riffled through her wardrobe for something to wear.
‘So, you’ll never guess who I met last night,’ Minnie said, tapping her toes on the floor.
‘The Pope?’
‘No.’
‘Jon Bon Jovi?’
‘No.’
‘Hot priest from Fleabag.’
‘You’re just saying random people?’
‘Yes.’
‘OK, I’ll tell you.’ Minnie paused until she had Leila’s full attention. ‘Quinn Hamilton.’
Leila paused, ‘Who?’
‘Quinn, Quinn Hamilton.’ Minnie stared at her friend in disbelief. ‘Name Stealer Quinn.’
‘Quinn! The Quinn?’ Leila took a quick step towards Minnie, her eyes wide, one hand clutching a hanger to her chest. Minnie nodded slowly. ‘Childhood nemesis Quinn?’
‘Yes, that Quinn,’ Minnie said, nodding slowly.
Leila abandoned her quest to get dressed and bounced her bottom onto the bed next to Minnie.
‘What, how, w …?’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘How did you know it was him?’
‘It was his birthday party. Greg’s friend from the paper, Lucy Donohue, goes out with him. I was only introduced when he let me out of the bathroom at seven o’clock this morning. I knew who he was straight away. How many Quinns born on the first of January can there be?’
‘Why are you saying Lucy Donohue like that?’ asked Leila, squinting her eyes at Minnie.
‘Like what?’
‘In a funny nasally voice with your nose all scrunched up?’
‘Was I? I’m not sure – I think she was annoying. Anyway, back to Quinn. Quinn! Can you believe it?’
The screen on Minnie’s phone lit up and pinged into life. Greg’s name flashed up on the phone as a stream of messages came through. Minnie groaned.
‘All OK?’ asked Leila.
‘Greg abandoned me in the club last night and now he’s sending me arsy texts because he thinks I left without him.’
‘I would never, ever leave without you,’ Leila said solemnly.
‘I know you wouldn’t. I would never leave without you either.’ Minnie reached out to squeeze her friend’s hand. ‘He does sound pretty pissed off, though. I should probably call him.’
‘Tell me the story first, Bathroom Abandoner can wait.’
‘OK, give me one minute, I’m just going to text my landlord to see if he can let me into my flat today. I’ve got to get in somehow to feed poor Lucky.’
Minnie tapped away on her phone and Leila made a tick-tock clicking sound with her tongue, nodding her head from side to side like a metronome.
‘So, did you tell Quinn he stole your name?’ Leila asked once Minnie had finished typing. ‘What’s he like? Is he hot? Quinn Hamilton sounds like a hot name to me.’
‘Yes, I told him he stole my name – he laughed like it was a joke. And I don’t know where you get the idea that there are hot names and not-hot names,’ Minnie said irritably. She started fiddling with the dress she was wearing, swishing the skirt back and forth in her lap. She was so unused to wearing skirts that she felt as though she was looking down at someone else’s body. ‘You’re not seriously going to make me go out in public like this, are you?’
‘So he is hot?’ said Leila, narrowing her eyes even further.
‘I guess, but only in that textbook, arrogant, rich-boy way. He was probably born with a silver spoon in every orifice,’ said Minnie grimacing.
‘OK, well I need to hear every single detail. I have to get my love-life kicks through you now I’m so bloody normcore. And yes, you need to wear the dress, it will be fun, I promise.’ Leila went back to her wardrobe and held up a bright yellow 1950s-style tea dress. ‘Too much?’
‘You can pull this look off, I can’t,’ said Minnie, shaking her head. Leila dropped her pyjama bottoms on the floor and stepped into the yellow skirt. ‘Hang on, what do you mean “love life”? This isn’t anything to do with my love life, this is just me meeting the man my mum’s been comparing me to my whole life. Right, I’m going to call Greg now.’
Minnie dialled his number. Greg didn’t like speaking on the phone, he preferred text, but this didn’t feel like a text conversation. It went straight to answerphone. ‘Hi Greg, it’s Minnie. Just ringing to say, I didn’t go home without you last night, you were the one who went home without me, and anyway … wait, someone else is calling me … maybe it’s you, no, it’s an unknown number. Hang on, I’ll call you back, I was just calling to say I’m alive – bye.’