Sophia combed her fingers through Collin’s brown curls, having no clue how she’d be able to breathe if she ever lost him. Sure, the demise of her marriage and career was tragic, but she couldn’t imagine living through a loss such as Dr. Sawyer’s. Shame sent a lump to lodge in her throat over how she’d spoken to him.
“That’s not for public knowledge, so it stays just between us,” Opal said, tapping the table to make sure Sophia understood.
Sophia nodded her head and waved to get the waitress’s attention without responding to her friend. Really, what was there to say to all that? Nothing was what. “Can I get the check, please?”
The young waitress smiled warmly. “Mr. Jasper said it’s on him today.”
Sophia scoffed. “Your boss says it’s on him every day.”
“You know how he is. Best thing to do is just go with it.” She waved off Sophia’s protests and hurried on to another table. Josie’s dad had been a second daddy to each Sand Queen and had fed them more times than one could count.
“I’m heading into work. What does the rest of the day look like for the two of you?” Opal asked, swiping the last of Sophia’s biscuit.
“I need to go grocery shopping.” Sophia packed Collin’s sippy cup into the diaper bag and settled him on her hip. The list tucked in the pocket of her baggy pants was filled with fresh everything to start at least one new step of cooking at home and laying off eating out so much. She’d taken the snooty doctor’s advice and had cut the Happy Meals down to only once a week.
“It’s a beautiful day. You two should head to my house afterward and spend the afternoon on the beach.”
“Pease, Mommy.” Collin twirled his sticky fingers in her hair.
“We’ll see, baby,” she offered, her go-to answer for not really giving an answer.
“Pease, Sophia, bring my bubby to the beach. We can sweet-talk Linc into grilling us something for supper, too.” Opal winked at Sophia before giving the toddler an exaggerated kiss and pulling another loud giggle from him. Opal specialized in that and Sophia would be willing to keep the meddling woman around for no other reason. Collin didn’t smile or laugh nearly as much as a child his age should.
Sophia’s mind was in repeat mode, worrying about Collin’s happiness all the way to the grocery store, and kept skipping back to it as she strapped Collin into the shopping-cart seat. She made silly faces while picking out fruit, danced around a display of chips, and tickled Collin’s side as they moved around the store. He’d respond but the happiness never lingered, not even making it from one aisle to the next.
As she turned into the cereal aisle, normally the one strip of shopping fun for the toddler, she really began to worry when he didn’t immediately start begging for the brightly colored boxes of pure sugar. She bent down and rested her chin on the cart handle, bringing her eye to eye with him. Studying his puffy blue eyes, the lingering effects of a long, restless night, Sophia searched for some hidden sign that he was okay. Collin curiously watched her as he crammed a finger up his nose.
Snickering, she yanked it out and asked, “What do you want, baby? You get to pick.” She tried not to think about the disapproving lecture the starchy doctor would give her for allowing Collin the cereal of his choosing.
“Daddy. I wan’ Daddy.” His little eyes lit up with hope.
“I know, baby. Daddy’s working . . . but soon, okay?”
Collin didn’t seem agreeable with her answer, his eyes glassing over as his pouty lips curved into a trembling frown. Both were warning signs of a tantrum working loose.
Sophia straightened and did the only thing a desperate mother in her situation could come up with—she clutched the cart handle firmly with both hands and took off like a streak of lightning down the cereal aisle at a breakneck speed while making race car sounds. It took a couple of turns on the grocery aisle track before the little guy let loose his own sound effects. Those pouty lips vibrated as he revved his motor, and it was pure music to her ears.
A stock boy reprimanded her when she sideswiped a tower of toilet paper, leaving an avalanche of rolls in her wake, but she had no regrets. By the time they reached the yogurt section, she was right winded, but her baby was smiling with no traces of tears in sight. Collin even picked out a healthy choice of yogurt, unbeknownst to him, but still. He was participating. For a few brief moments in the dairy aisle, Sophia felt like a normal momma doing something normal with her toddler. The haze of hurt waned, allowing her to breathe a little easier.
As Sophia began pushing the cart toward the front of the store, a small herd of children passed by while skipping around their mother’s cart. She noticed Collin looking on with a faint smile on his face.
She’d kept Collin tucked underneath her wing for close to three years, but watching him watch those children with longing, it made her realize that maybe doing so hadn’t been in his best interest. Wasn’t it normal not to want your baby to grow up too fast? she wondered. It seemed like a motherly way of thinking, but now she was realizing her intentions might have been on the selfish side.
Maybe it’s time to consider preschool, she thought as she unloaded the groceries at the cash register. She’d almost talked herself into hurrying back to the diaper aisle to grab a pack of training Pull-Ups when the little card machine made an obnoxious sound she’d never had directed to her. Squinting at the small screen, she realized it was alerting her that the debit card had been declined.
The cashier shrugged her shoulders as she tapped several keys on her register. “Try swiping it again. Sometimes the card reader has a glitch.”
Sophia did as instructed, but the little machine sent out that menacing alert tone again. “Let me try another card.” She put the debit card back and fished out a credit card. She swiped it and grabbed up the pen to sign off on the transaction, but the alert sounded again. “This makes no sense. Is your machine broken?”
“I can try it on my register.” The cashier held her hand out for the card, and Sophia handed it over quickly.
Looking around, Sophia was thankful no one was waiting in line behind her. Sure, she’d witnessed shoppers turn bright red with humiliation a time or two when their cards had been declined, but it was something she’d never experienced personally until now. “There’s no reason for my cards not to work. Surely the store system is to blame.”
“It’s still not working.” The cashier made a sympathetic face and handed the card back.
Sophia clucked her tongue, pulling on a lofty attitude even though her palms were sweating and her heart racing. “This is ridiculous. Can you get a manager?”
Several long, humiliating minutes later, after the manager tried both cards on two other registers and Sophia made a call to the bank, she sat behind the wheel of her fancy SUV in the parking lot and stared out the windshield in disbelief. There was always an abundance of money waiting to meet her needs and wants at the swipe of a card. Until now. Stunned, all she could do was sit there and tap her thumb underneath her bare ring finger.
When Collin began whining, she pulled herself together enough to drive. With no groceries to put away and no clear ideas on how to remedy that problem, she drove around aimlessly for a while until finding herself parking beside Opal and Lincoln’s beach house. A glance in the rearview mirror confirmed the little guy was sacked out, so she put the SUV in park but didn’t shut it off.