Trina wasn’t helping, either. She steadfastly refused to let me within five feet of Laney, like a big yapping guard dog. It was the same way she used to be with Lindsay if she ever got wind of someone bothering her. I knew she thought she was just being a good friend, but holy fuck, it was irritating as all hell. I just wanted a few minutes alone with Laney to explain that I didn’t do this shit today.
She had to know I would never hurt her like that.
In the end, though, I guess I had to acknowledge that it was still partially my fault, because I put her on that fucking blacklist all those weeks ago. Someone was defying my orders and refusing to stop tormenting her now, and while they were responsible for today’s vile display in the auditorium, I was responsible for making them hate Laney in the first place. It never would have happened if I didn’t try my best to wreck her life and turn everyone against her.
Yup. My fault.
I closed my eyes and dragged in a deep breath. A thousand little things about Laney ran through my head in an instant. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh. Her floral scent, her soft curves, her plump pink lips. The way she wrinkled her brow in chem class when she calculated formulas, and the way she bit her lip in concentration when she rowed out on the lake. Everything about her was fucking amazing. A brilliant mixture of sweetness, light, and quiet strength.
The thought that I may have diminished that light in her had my chest aching. I’d never wished to turn back time as much as I did now. The things I did to her in the not-so-distant past. The way I treated her. Every mistake I made. All of it was unforgivable, and the guilt and shame threatened to eat me alive.
We may have made up the other day and tried to move past it, but it didn’t matter, because it was all coming back to bite me in the ass now.
Hard.
I fucking failed her. Dismally. I told her I would end the bullying, but it had ramped up instead, completely crushing her.
I opened my eyes, put my hands on the steering wheel and held tight, knuckles turning white. “Shit,” I muttered, still breathing deeply as I tried to get a hold of the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions in my mind.
In the past, I would’ve smashed my hands against the dashboard or whatever other surface I could find until my hands bled. But not now. Not since that talk with Laney on Sunday.
She made me want to do better. Be better. Part of that involved taking control of my anger so I didn’t wind up like my father, because I never wanted to scare anyone the way he scared me and my siblings when we were kids.
Especially Laney.
I knew after the first time we slept together that I was ruined for any other girls, but I didn’t care. I only wanted her, and now that I was sitting here without her, there was a gaping hole in my heart. It was agonizing. I couldn’t stop picturing the defeat on her face in that coffee shop and wondering if this was it for us. If she was going to leave Royal Falls over this morning’s horrendous humiliation, never to return.
Not so long ago, all I wanted was to see her gone from this town forever. Now the thought of her leaving filled me with cold dread. I never expected to feel something like that when it came to her, but it was a real fear.
I shook my head and let out a deep, shuddering breath. The thought of losing her might scare the shit out of me, but if she chose to leave, I would have to support her decision and accept it in the end.
I just wanted her to be okay. To be happy. Even if she never spoke to me again, never wanted to see me again, that would have to be all right, as long as she was all right.
Then it finally hit me, all the feelings I had for her. The desperate need and adoration mixed with the acceptance and strength to let her go if that was what she wanted for herself…
It was love.
I fucking loved her.
And the way she looked at me yesterday… she felt the same way. That was why she was so broken when she thought I did this shit to her today. It wasn’t just from the betrayal and shock of seeing that horrible video posted up for everyone to see. It was from the way she felt safe enough to fall for me despite our fractured past, only to have the rug ripped out from under her almost immediately, leaving her feeling like she was all alone in loving me.
Those feelings didn’t just disappear overnight. Or ever. That meant she had to listen to me eventually. Had to realize I didn’t do this awful thing to her.
My eyes narrowed as my mind suddenly veered off on another track. Until now, I’d been so hell-bent on trying to talk to Laney to convince her that I wasn’t responsible for today’s mess that I hadn’t stopped to consider who was.
The aching pain inside me gave way to red-hot anger, fueling me with adrenaline as my mind raced through the possibilities.
Who the hell hated Laney? And why?
Right now, I had no idea. All I knew for sure was that someone was trying to get rid of her, and they wanted everyone to think it was me behind the effort. They were succeeding with that, too, which meant they were either fucking lucky or fucking smart. Perhaps both.
It had to be someone close to her. Someone who was able to find out about that old video, gain access to it, and wield it like a fucking weapon.
Someone Laney would never even consider.
I drew in a deep breath and clenched my jaw. I might not be able to take every ounce of her pain and make it my own like I wanted to, but I could still help her. I could pour half my efforts into making sure she was safe going forward and the other half into catching whoever the fuck was responsible for today’s shit, so that she’d never have to suffer like this again.
I straightened my shoulders and started the car. After pulling out of the parking bay, I floored it, and the roar of the engine combined with the adrenaline in my veins gave me a tiny high.
Whatever it took, I was going to get to the bottom of this sordid nightmare, and whoever it was who hurt Laney, they were going to wish they were never born when I was done with them.
Even if it fucking killed me, they were going to pay.
4
Laney
“Laney! Are you awake?”
I trudged over to my door and opened it, smothering a yawn. “Hi, Ms. Flores.”
Two large black messenger bags and a blue gift bag dangled from the guidance counselor’s right forearm, and one brown paper bag was clenched in her left hand. “Morning!” she said with a cheery smile. She held out the paper bag. “I brought you breakfast again. There’s a sandwich in there for lunch, too.”
“Thank you,” I said, opening the bag to find a large takeout coffee, a Saran-wrapped sandwich, and a plastic container filled with a heaping serve of muesli, yogurt and fruit salad. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, waving her free hand with a casual air. “Just doing my job.”
I smiled. “Really, Ms. Flores. You’ve been such a lifesaver the last three days. I might’ve starved without you.”
She set the other bags down on the floor and sighed. “I just wish I didn’t have to bring you everything like this,” she said. “How are you feeling today, anyway?”
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I couldn’t sleep much last night, so I got up really early and started working on an assignment.”
“Do you think you’ll be ready to return to your regular classes on Monday?”