We were directed away from the presenters by another Clipboard guy who told us we could leave and that someone would be in touch. I was about to ask if anyone fancied a beer when I realised Stacey was waiting to go on stage with her band. I ran my eyes over them all. Seven altogether and all so very different. They didn't look like a band, but then again, neither did we after make-up and wardrobe had finished with us. Stacey was wearing her hair down and had barely any make-up on. She looked so like the Stacey of my past that for a moment it hurt.
Whose fault's that? I berated myself.
As if she could feel my eyes on her, Stacey looked over and met my gaze.
Her eyes widened as she took in what they'd made me look like, and I knew she'd had the same thoughts I'd had because she let her guard down and clear as day I heard, 'Fuck, it's Noah. God, he looks like he used to, but older'.
Quick as a flash she blocked me out, flashed a look of fury at me, turned on her low heels and walked out onto the stage.
"Was that Stacey?" Rex elbowed me.
"Yup. She's in the competition too."
"Did you hear that guys?" He got the other two's attention. "Shit just got more interesting."
"I'll catch you guys later." I told them as I began to walk away. "I'm going to check out the competition."
"I'm going to check out Harley." Zak added.
I walked round to where the audience were, but I stayed in the wings where the crew would let us stand to watch as long as we were quiet. Carmela asked Stacey about the band.
"We're called the Seven Sisters. We're not related but we are such close friends that that's how we feel." She explained. "We got together after a difficult time in my life and I'd do anything for them."
"Okay, if you'd like to sing."
Stacey addressed the judges. "This is a song I wrote myself. It's called Regrets."
Carmela nodded. "When you're ready."
The song began calm and steady and like a ballad.
Once there was you and me.
Never thought there would be
A life without you…
The audience were quiet and although they'd been directed to be so, I knew that Stacey's soulful voice would have had them enraptured anyway.
Once there was them and us
Never thought there would come
A time without you…
Her voice picked up on the you and it made the hairs on my back stand on end. Her voice was incredible and had only grown better with age.
But you took yourself away
Never gave me a say
Then she went into a rock style and her voice picked up and growled out the next two lines.
Didn't give a damn, when my life broke down
Just ran around all over town.
I knew this song was about me. And she had me in her thrall. I could do nothing but stand there and listen to every word as the lyrics imprinted in my mind and my non-beating heart.
I hope you miss me every day.
Want for me to say
That I forgive you…
But my love for you went away.
Tired of the game you played,
I could resist you…
You left me, not the other way around
I hope you enjoyed the new life you found.
Regrets
Oh yeah
Re-grettttttts
Secrets
Oh yeah
Secretttttsss
Our time is done
Now I've moved on
I'm here… ready to sing a different song.
It then went into a rousing guitar solo before Stacey picked the chorus back up again.
Regrets
Oh yeah
Re-grettttttts
Secrets
Oh yeah
Secretttttsss
No time for the past to show up now.
I've shown I can survive without.
Regrets.
The other band members had played instruments and provided backing vocals, but my eyes were nowhere but on Stacey, whose eyes went straight to me as she sang the last word straight at me. She knew I was there.
Of course she did.
Where else would I have been?
The audience and the judges were on their feet and this was not scripted. She was just that good. They were that good, but especially my ex. And I realised that once more I was in a position where my ambitions for my band were on a collision course with Stacey's life.
"Phenomenal." That was the word every single judge gave her and they were right.
I disappeared into the corridors of the auditorium lost in thoughts of times past.
Stacey
I'd dreamed of singing that song to Noah so many times and the moment had finally arrived. I hoped every word had hit him like a shard of glass, but I doubted it would actually do anything at all. He'd left me without a second glance, and I needed to remember that. I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other until the blisters he'd left me with were gone and I could move on without pain. I'd dated since him, but there'd been no one who'd come anywhere close to my first love and I hated him for it. Hated that for some reason my mind wouldn't completely let him go. Hopefully this competition would bring me closure and then I could get on with my life, being 'fingers crossed' the winner of a million pound recording contract. Even if not, at least I could have a chance of moving on with the past finally buried and a peace of mind I'd been seeking for the last eight years.
And maybe things were already changing, because at the first round of auditions I'd bumped into the lead singer of another rock band, and I'd noticed he'd also hung around to watch us perform our audition.
After we'd finished filming and we were making our way towards the dressing rooms, Drayton walked towards me, his eyes running up and down my body. But then they also ran up and down several of the other women at my side's bodies too. Huh. Didn't look like he was ideal future-husband material, but he might do for right now.
He handed me a towel so I could dry myself off, given that the heat from the lights was fierce and made you sweaty, and then he took the towel and passed me a glass of water.
"Thanks. You trying to impress me or something?"
"I know how hot it is on stage." He said, "but now you mention it, you looked hot out there in another way entirely. I'd be rooting for you to win, if I didn't want my own band to do so."
"Well, you're honest. I'll give you that." I laughed.
"Do you like me enough that I could take you out to dinner, right now?" He put his hands in front of him like he was praying. "I'll totally get on my knees if you don't say yes."
I laughed again. "Why not? Woman's got to eat, right?"
"Yeeasss." He punched the air, "and you never know, maybe later a man's gotta eat too." He winked.
Drayton Beyer's band was called Flame-Grilled Steak, an apt name for the five beefy men of the band. They were all muscle and long-hair and if he'd told me they were bikers, I wouldn't have been surprised.
We swapped numbers and I arranged to meet him later that evening. Then I went into the dressing room and got showered, ready to head home.