Once he gets in, he reaches for me, hugging me from behind. I suddenly feel my body relax, not feeling as chilled as before. I grip onto him tightly, as if Gio was my own special security blanket.
“You okay, principessa? Tonight was one hell of a night, huh?” he queries delicately, and I just give him a small nod in reply.
“Did it scare you?”
I nod again.
“Thought it might have,” he remarks grimly.
“Is that why you rode twenty minutes to my house from Big Sal’s mansion? You were worried about me?” I mumble quietly, not wanting any guard to hear our little discussion.
“Shouldn’t I be?” he interjects, and I don’t have to turn around to know that one of his brows must be raised high on his forehead in interest.
“I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about,” I snap, annoyed he came all this way to make sure I would keep my mouth shut.
“Don’t be stupid, Selene. That’s not why I’m here. It’s not every day you witness a man die. I just wanted to be here if you needed someone,” he affirms, gently giving my stomach a full squeeze, and making it flutter with that one move.
“Oh,” I huff out.
“Yeah,” he sighs, and I feel his shoulders slump behind me.
“I didn’t actually see it though. Both you and Dom told me to close my eyes, remember?”
“Doesn’t mean you didn’t know what was going on,” he deadpans, but then kisses my hair affectionately after a silent pause, making my heart pitter-patter just as softly. “Are you still scared?”
“Yes,” I reply truthfully, and it’s the first time I feel the sting of hot tears wanting to spill from my eyes.
“It’s over now though, princepessa,” Gio utters calmly, but I shake my head in denial.
“No, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Pretty soon all three of you will have to go through that same initiation, and we’ll no longer be friends because you have your so-called brothers and business to take care of.” I bite back in anger, turning to face my friend, and looking him in the eye to see if he’s come to the same conclusion as I have.
His face looks just as sad as I feel and the first tear slips through my watery eyes at the unwanted truth confirmed in his stare. Gio cleans it with his thumb, then grabs both my hands in his, placing them in the small space between us, heart to hand, hand to heart.
“That will never happen, Selene,” he promises, and the look of certainty is so clear in his gaze, I almost believe him.
“Yes, it will. You all will turn mean like my father and won’t want me around anymore. It’s already started. Vincent barely looks me in the eye as it is. It’s as if he wants me gone and out of the way. Pretty soon you and Dom will be acting like him, and then I’ll have no one. I’ll be alone with just stupid dresses to make me look like a doll, just like Mammà,” I bawl into his chest, hating how weak I sound. But just the idea of losing Giovanni, Dominic, and Vincent to my father’s world so soon, is my worst fear come true.
Gio hugs me and lets me cry my fill. I try to weep as silently as possible, but it’s not easy when mourning our dying friendship and bond. The four of us have always been each other’s shadows for as long as I can remember. Just the idea that our attachment will soon be broken because of the people we will be forced to become is heartbreaking. If anyone can understand this, it’s Gio. Dom and Vincent will never admit any such vulnerability, but Gio—my Gio—is probably the only one who will tell me how it is, without worrying about the damage it will do to my young heart. He’s also the only one I know who isn’t eager to grow up, for the same reasons I’m not.
I give myself a few minutes to let all the tears I have in me show their ugly face, but I don’t allow them to overpower me either. My faucet quickly runs dry, but I still hang on to Gio’s hands for comfort. He didn’t say a word the whole time I wept, but now that he feels I’ve gathered my composure, he doesn’t take long to say what’s on his mind.
“So you think Vince is giving you the cold shoulder because he no longer wants to be friends, is that right? I thought you were smarter than that, Selene. Did it ever occur to you that he might feel ashamed for keeping secrets from you? Because of who he is, he’s had to lie to you to keep you safe, much sooner than either I or Dom had to. It isn’t fair, but this is the life, principessa. Don’t think for one minute that any of us will take any joy in keeping things from you, or spending time away from you.”
“You think so?” I almost pout.
“You’re our best friend, Selene. Nothing in the world will ever change that,” he confesses, warming my cold, unhappy heart.
“I want you to promise me, Gio, just like Pietro did to all those men tonight. I want your vow that we will always pick each other first. I want you to promise me we will care for and protect each other until we’re old and gray and no one will ever tear us apart. Promise,” I demand, the tears threatening their reappearance.
“No matter what paths we take, principessa, I want you to know that all of them will include you. You have my word,” Gio swears, crossing his heart with both our index fingers and this time I do believe him.
As he goes to kiss my forehead to seal the deal in love—instead of blood—I lean my head back and press my trembling lips onto his instead. Gio’s eyes go wide in astonishment, but I need him to focus on his pledge and not our two-second first kiss. Maybe for the ordinary girl, her first kiss would be the thing that would be making her heart race right now, but for me, Gio’s oath is what’s making my blood run warm.
“Promise, Gio,” I plea again, locked in his stare.
“On my life, principessa,” he hums surely, his umber eyes twinkling in his certainty.
I close my eyes and sigh out, satisfied. I lean my head to his chest and I make my own silent vow.
The Outfit might have our lives planned out for us, but our will is still our own. The syndicate will harden my friends and turn them into the evil men this life demands them to be. I, though, will just have to make sure they remember who they truly are and not let their heinous actions taint their souls any more than it has to.
This life may take plenty of things from us but it will never break us.
I will make sure of it.
FOUR
Vincent
Sixteen years old
“Do you have a minute, Vincent?” Uncle Sal asks, knocking on my bedroom door.
“Sure,” I reply, looking at his reflection through my mirror while taking off the mess I’ve made of my tie once again.
“See you still haven’t got the knack for putting that thing on yet. Astounding, as you’ve been wearing one every Sunday since you were knee-high,” he taunts with a little chuckle.
“I prefer to focus my efforts on more important things, Uncle.” I give him my cocky smirk.
“Don’t underestimate the power of an astute appearance, boy. How a man looks and how he presents himself says a lot about him,” he deadpans, walking over to me and taking the wretched fabric out of my hands.