“She’s not the reason that I drink, no. It’s a combination of things. As fucking pussy as it sounds, it starts with my mom. It’s been a decade when it comes to Chelle and I should be over that shit.”
“Been longer since your mama vanished. Are you over Chelle, ’cause you certainly ain’t over your mother?” he asks.
Moving my hand to the back of my neck, I massage myself gently, releasing tension that’s formed. “I’m over Chelle. If she walked into this room, I wouldn’t want her back. But I’m not over what she did to me. What either of them did to me. I’m working through it though and I’m getting there.”
“Good.” He nods.
“What about you, Ford? How are you doin’?”
“With what?” he asks.
My lips twitch into a small smile. “Been a decade since you saw the infamous Sterling LaRue,” I point out.
His lips turn down into a frown. “We ain’t talkin’ about me.”
I snort. “Seems like maybe we should?”
“See you out there, fucker,” he snaps.
Laughing, I watch him walk away. He lifts his hand and flips me off before he turns a corner. It’s a sore spot for him, just like Chelle is for me, Sammi is for Wyatt and apparently Tulip is for Louis.
Maybe we’re all fucking lost in this world, trying to get over the aching hurts of our pasts.
If Wyatt can forgive and move on, then maybe there is hope for the rest of us too? Or maybe he’s just one of the lucky ones.
Fuck if I know.
HUTTON
“You need some liquid courage,” Laurie shouts over the loud music.
The secret band hasn’t started, but the room is being pumped up with loud rock music. There are people dancing, drinking, and shouting all over the place. It’s boobs to butts, bodies are everywhere and the entire place is making me extremely anxious.
“No, thank you,” I say, wrinkling my nose.
Channing looks to me, then Laurie, then back to me. “Do you not drink?” she asks, bringing her water to her lips and taking a sip.
I shake my head. “No. My parents drank a lot,” I admit.
She nods, eyeing me sympathetically. “I have friends who have gone through the same,” she explains, her gaze shifting from me to Exeter, then back to me. I lower my lashes, then bring my gaze back up to meet hers.
“My grandparents raised me for the most part, as much as they could anyway,” I admit.
She grins. “Which is why you visit your PawPaw often?” she guesses.
My lips twitch into a small smile at just the mention of my grandfather. I nod my head. “He’s one of my best friends. I like to visit him, take care of what needs to be taken care of. He can live on his own for the most part, but he needs a little help cleaning and he’s lonely.”
“That’s sweet,” she says and I can tell that she means it.
I don’t tell her that my cousins pop by and visit him too, but none of them will lift a dustpan or broom. Only one of the boys mows his yard once a month, other than that, they stop by but only for a few minutes at a time.
“Exeter’s MawMaw just moved into part of an assisted living community. She’s been having a blast,” she says.
The conversation dies when Rylan appears. His hand slides around Channing’s waist and I watch as his lips touch the side of her neck. The move is intimate and I tear my gaze away, deciding that I feel too much like a creep to watch them greet one another.
“You remember Hutton from the other day?” she calls.
Returning my gaze to them, I smile as Rylan’s lips turn up into a cocky smirk of his own. “I do.” He grins. “You ready for the show?” he asks, his brown eyes almost sparkling.
I shake my head, biting the corner of my lip. “I almost didn’t come,” I admit.
He frowns, then looks down to Channing. I watch as she whispers to him, I assume to tell him about my clothing debacle. Shifting my gaze from them, I find Exeter and Laurie who are talking to Wyatt and two other men. I recognize one as Ford Matthews and my face heats.
Ford’s eyes find mine. Recognition flutters over his features and I watch as his lips tip up into a sideways smile.
Oh God, how embarrassing.
Turning my back to him, I notice that Channing and Rylan are both watching, their gazes flicking from Ford to me, and back again. Channing frowns as I feel Ford’s presence at my side. His palm presses against my lower back and I turn slightly, tipping my head back to look up at him.
“Hey, Ford,” I say with a fake smile plastered on my lips.
He grins, though his is genuine. “Hey, Hutton, how you doin’, honey?” he asks.
Channing clears her throat, and then I hear Rylan’s deep voice murmuring something in the background as I continue to look up at Ford.
“I’m good, how about you?” I ask, attempting to keep my face from turning bright red, but I already know that it is.
“Good. You’re here with Channing and Exeter?” he asks, his smile fading and a small frown appearing on his face.
I nod, opening my mouth to ask why when an announcer begins to speak over the loudspeakers cutting me off. I’m thankful for the person who appears on stage and begins to talk about the concert that is about to take place. I can’t hear their words, it sounds like a bunch of white noise.
Honest to God, I’m just trying not to die of embarrassment right now. Six years ago, I met Ford at one of the dance halls with Laurie. She forced me to go out for her birthday. Thankfully, it was her final attempt at having a normal friend.
The dance hall was fun, until the line dancing, and girl group dancing ended. Later in the evening all of the men appeared and several of Laurie’s friends went off with their men for the night. Laurie found someone, and that’s when Ford slid in next to me at the bar while I was ordering a water.
I can’t even use the excuse that I was drunk, I wasn’t. Ford probably was. We talked for what felt like hours. I knew of him, knew of the Matthews ranch out in the country, knew he was a few years older than me.
We left together, went back to his place and then I freaked the fuck out. I cried because he wasn’t Beaumont. I told him that I’d only ever been with one other guy aside from Beau and it was a complete disaster.
Basically, I scared him shitless.
He got this really funny look on his face when I told him that after three years, I was still hopelessly in love with Beau, that I tried casual sex once and it didn’t work for me. Then I told him that I wanted a real relationship, and if that didn’t scare him off, I told him that I wanted marriage and children.
Without so much as a, have a nice night, he drove me home. Granted, he was pretty sweet the entire time, even if he looked spooked and terrified. He actually walked me to my door and when we were on my doorstep, he cupped my cheek, looked into my eyes and told me that Beaumont didn’t deserve me.
That’s my Ford Matthews story and now he’s standing next to me, six years later with his hand pressed against the small of my back and I feel absolutely nothing.
He’s gorgeous, tall, built like a man who does manual labor, strong and sturdy. He’s wearing a ballcap, worn jeans and a pearl snap shirt that’s tucked in with a leather belt that has a round belt buckle with the letter M engraved in the center.