The noise is enough to draw Cade’s attention and his eyes linger on where Ky’s hand still rests on my back and I swear for just a second I see little fire in him.
“What is it?” I choke out when the burning sensation subsides. It feels like I have just swallowed drain cleaner and the aftertaste isn’t much better.
“You’ve never heard of moonshine?” asks Ky, a smirk turning up the corner’s of his full lips.
I think back to the segment on prohibition in my high school history book and raise the cup to my nose.
“Toni makes it,” he says, gesturing to the woman. “I just drink it.”
Curious, I take a sip. This time smaller. It doesn’t taste any better, but the burning lessens and is now comparable to a warm lick of flame trailing down the back of my throat.
“A few more sips of this and maybe you’ll tell me why you and the boy child are so far from camp,” says Ky.
I understand why he is curious, but I don’t want to tell him why we are here. It would only bring back the night Anita died and everything that happened after, but he doesn’t know that, and I can’t imagine he will let us stay here without giving him some information about the group and our mission so I continue to drink hoping that he is right and the buzz from the alcohol will loosen my lips.
I have never been drunk before and the moonshine hits hard and fast. Only instead of answering questions I am asking them, dozens of them, one after another. I can’t seem to get enough information. How did they meet and where is she from? Cade and Toni have their own glass now and the two of them share back and forth like old friends.
Ky humors my questions at first. “We met a week or two after my exile. She thought she was tricky,” he says lifting the glass to his lips before passing it back to me. “Trying to steal my knife while I slept.”
“I would have had it if it weren’t for the bird,” says Toni. “The annoying ones. You know them,” she says looking at Cade with an inviting smile. “With the loud bellowing early in the morning. I was inches from wrapping my hand around that knife when the bird startled him awake.” She draws a finger across her throat. “I could have cut your throat right then,” she says, eyes flitting to Ky. “Wouldn’t have had to share any of my stuff then.”
I swallow hard. How does she feel about sharing her moonshine right now? Ky’s face hardens, but only for a second. Maybe he doesn’t mind that Toni’s hand is trailing along the edge of Cade’s knee, but I certainly do. I excuse myself to use the restroom and am startled when I hear a second set of footsteps crunching through the brush behind me.
“Isn’t this what women do in the real world? Sneak off to the bathroom together so they can talk about men?” says Toni. She wraps an arm around my shoulder, but even the magic in the moonshine can’t fix the feeling I have that she is not to be trusted.
“I wouldn’t know.” I answer “I’ve been here since I was fourteen. What about you?” I probe at her past again. Maybe now, away from Cade and Ky she’ll answer. She props up against a tree and lifts her skirt to relieve herself. Toni is not shy and my cheeks flood against my will.
“It’s just skin,” she croaks, taking in my shocked expression. “From what Ky has told me about your group you place too much importance on it.”
“What has he told you about our group?” I ask, careful to cover myself as best as possible while I do my business.
Toni laughs, but it’s not the same tinkly lighthearted laugh she used earlier with Cade. It’s darker, menacing, and I know with certainty that she does not like me, does not want me here.
“I hear there are a lot of rules.”
“And you don’t like rules?” I ask.
Toni straightens up and readjusts her skirt. She’s a mix of mountain woman and model, the way her clothing adheres to every curve, but is sewn from the pelts of animals. Where does she get her supplies? The more I stare at Toni, the more I begin to think that her presence here is planned.
“I like to make the rules,” she says with a smirk. “Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do.” Her dark eyes are cold, and even in the moonlight, I can read the hostility in her expression. Suddenly I don’t want to be out here alone with her. Maybe she was joking when she said she could have slit Ky’s throat, but maybe she wasn’t. If she tried anything now Cade wouldn’t be fast enough to stop her and this wasn’t the group, there was no threat of exile, no consequences.
“We should get back before they worry,” I say and turn to head back toward the crackling of the fire. For one heart pounding, terrifying moment I worry that this will be my downfall. That she will come flying over my shoulder, landing a knife in my chest with striking precision, but the closer I get to camp the easier my breath comes and she follows behind at a safe distance.
I don’t think I like moonshine.
Back at camp I take her seat beside Cade and leave an opening for her by Ky. There is a silence by the fire that tells me Cade and Ky are not ready to talk through their differences and if we all remain together long enough talking is probably not how they will resolve them.
A yawn escapes my mouth.
“You need some rest, baby?” Toni’s voice is dripping with false kindness, but I need things from her. I need to know how she got here and where she gets her supplies so I can’t say the things that linger behind my lips. Instead I stand and grab Cade by the arm to pull him up with me.
“I’m not used to drinking. If you’ll excuse us I think it would be best if we go sleep it off.”
Ky raises one eyebrow. “Together?”
Toni grins. “Isn’t that against the rules? Maybe Cade should stay with me,” she says, casting a glance toward one of the two tents. She and Ky don’t sleep together and the way the two speak to one another it’s hard to understand how they have lived without killing one another this long.
“What the group doesn’t know won’t hurt them,” I answer, then drag Cade away from the fire. Alcohol seems to have the opposite effect on him that it does on me. He moves a little slower, but he’s quieter too, and I don’t know what he’s thinking as the two of us find a mossy patch to lie down for the night.
Cade is asleep in moments. So this time it’s me that stays awake, keeping an eye out for whatever danger surrounds us. Sometime in the middle of the night I hear steps moving in our direction. I keep my eyes partially closed, but I can see just enough through the slit beneath my eyelashes to know that Ky is watching us. He holds his drink and not a knife, but my heart races until he stumbles past us and continues on into the forest.
I shouldn’t trust Ky, but I have a hard time believing that the man I once knew is completely gone. Somewhere behind his hardened heart is the person that mourned Anita’s death for days on end, shoulders heaving with sobs, and hands trembling. It could be my naivety, but I believe he can be redeemed and that he can help us save Christa.
Eleven
I creep out of bed at sunrise and move quietly through the camp. Last night I tried to make a mental inventory of what came from nature and what came from an outside source, but the darkness combined with the moonshine made that task more difficult than it should have been.