What are you thinking?
Sean: All kinds of thoughts.
Care to get specific?
Sean: Some other time.
Coast is clear if you want to swim.
Sean: Good, cause I’m already in your driveway.
Tumbling out of bed, I race down the stairs and open the door to see Sean, his hair damp from a shower and laying in a beautiful mess at his crown, his arms crossed as he leans against his Nova. He’s dressed in boots, shorts, and a black tank, and I take a mental picture as I stand there looking like God knows what.
I blush, combing my fingers through my hair. “I just woke up.”
“You’re beautiful,” he stalks toward me.
I nod over my shoulder. “You can come in. My dad won’t be home until later on today.”
He moves to greet me with a kiss on the cheek and I shy away. “Morning breath.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” He leans in and plants a soft kiss on my jaw, lingering while the air grows thick between us.
Breathless, I resist the urge to pull him closer.
“Do you have hiking boots?”
His question throws me. “Uh, yeah.”
“Dress light and put them on. I’ve got something I want to show you.”
“You’re taking me on a hike?”
Hiking is the last thing I want to do with him.
“It will be worth it.”
“This is beautiful,” I pant out as we climb another set of boulders at the edge of the mountain. Muscles I haven’t used in years scream as the foreign feel of moss brushes my shin while I try to scale the rock. Behind me, Sean spots my every move, his breath hitting my thighs as I glance down where he trails my lower half taking care to help me, in case I lose my footing.
“Couldn’t agree more,” he cups my ass with a hand to help me over a ledge of large rock. The clear insinuation of his tone spreads to my toes as I make it over.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask when I clear the last step and take in the view before he hauls himself up to where I stand, the large backpack strapped to him doing nothing to weigh down his climb. He grips my hand, lacing our fingers when he reaches me. “Not too far now.”
I glance at my watch. I’m supposed to meet Roman for dinner, and I hate the trepidation I still feel when it comes to him. I’m eleven years old all over again. After several meals, we’re no more comfortable together than we were when I arrived.
“What time is it?” Sean asks, eyes flashing my way.
“It’s early.”
“Do you have somewhere to be?”
“No, sorry, it’s just my father,” I release a stressed breath. “I’m supposed to have dinner with him later.”
“But that’s later.”
“Right,” I draw the word out to make it more of a question.
“So, your free time is now, here, with me.”
I stop and draw my brows. “Uh-huh.”
“So, you should be here, with me.”
“I am?”
“Is that a question?”
“No. I’m with you.”
“But you’re thinking about your dad.”
“Can’t help it.”
“Sure about that?”
I frown. “Is this a test?”
“They say land of the free and the home of the brave,” he mutters, shaking his head as he resumes our walk.
“Yeah, they do,” I follow behind him. “Your point?”
He turns back to me. “I say, it’s the land of the mentally inept, electronically dependent, and brainwashed media slaves.”
“You just insulted me. Gravely, I think.”
“Sorry, I’m just saying why waste now time worrying about later?”
“Now time?”
“It’s the only measure of time that matters. Time itself is just an invisible line, a measure people made up, right? You know that. And while it’s good for reference, it’s also a major stress trigger, because you’re letting it control you.”
I can’t even deny it. The idea of dinner with Roman is ruining my time with Sean.
“Okay, sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t give it power. Now is now, later will eventually be now. Don’t be a slave to the insanity of keeping time and keeping up. Now is the only thing you have control over, and even so, it’s an illusion.”
“You are one strange man,” I laugh, shaking my head.
“Maybe, or maybe everyone needs to wake the fuck up and snap out of business mode. But they won’t, because they’re too cozy in the down comforters they bought from an Instagram ad.”
“Now you’re saying I’m too comfortable?
“Depends.” He draws my arm to him, slowly unfastens my Apple Watch, drops it to the ground, and smashes it with his boot.
“Holy fucking,” I gape at him, fish mouthed “…not nice!”
“How did that feel?”
I recover the destroyed watch from the ground and answer honestly. “It stung.”
“Yeah, but what time is it?”
“Obviously, I have no idea,” I snap, shoving the useless watch into my cutoffs.
“Congrats, baby, that’s freedom.”
“That’s unrealistic.”
“For you. You’re still on a schedule,” he presses a finger to my temple, “in there.”
“I get it. You’re saying I need to unplug, yadda, yadda, I’m sure there was a less painful way to make your point.”
“Yeah, but you don’t get it, you need to retrain your brain. I bet you would draw the line if I tried to drive my boot through your cellphone.”
“Damn right I would.”
“Why?”
“Because I need it.”
“For what?”
“For…everything.”
He pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, pointing at me with it between his fingers. “Think about it critically. How many times have you needed it today?”
“To text you back, for one.”
“I could have easily rung your doorbell. But I know you would get the phone before you ever got the door, and do you know why?”
“I was on it.”
He nods.
He starts our trek again, and I reluctantly follow, still miffed about my watch. “So, I’m thinking you don’t have social media?”
He sighs. “Fuck no. Hell no, the worst thing we’ve ever done is give everyone a microphone and a place to use it.”
“Why?”
He pauses at a clearing and turns to me, his eyes void of any humor. “A hundred easy reasons.”
“Then give me the best one.”
He considers my question briefly, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “All right,” he exhales, “aside from the slow and inevitable defilement of humanity, I’ll give you a scenario.”
I nod.
“Imagine a person born with an unparalleled gift of retaining knowledge. And in finding out they had this gift, they go straight to work, schooling themselves for years and years to hone that gift and turn it into a superpower, becoming a wealth of knowledge like no other, to the point they’re well respected, a reckoning force, someone to really listen to. You with me?”