I shudder at that voice.
Ricardo places his palm on my back.
I feel both relieved and angry. I want to punch him because of what he did with Laura and to dive into a hug because I missed him.
"Who the hell are you?" asks Luigi, trying to sound confident, but it's obvious he’s scared.
I take a look at Ricardo: his jaw is tight, his lips are compressed, his eyes are frightening as if he's a wolf ready to tear apart his prey at any second.
I wish I never saw that photo of him and Laura. I wish we could just go to his apartment, watch TV, make love and forget that we need to talk.
But I saw that photo, and I can't take it back.
How can I trust him now?
"What do you want?" I ask, looking at Ricardo, and he turns to look at me.
He raises an eyebrow as a silent question—What are you talking about?—but I stay silent, glaring at him, although I feel like I could start crying at any second.
"Yeah, man, get out of my way. I saw her first." Luigi winks at me again with a smile and extends his hand to touch my wrist resting on the bar.
Before I can pull away, Ricardo pushes him away, grabs his shirt, and presses him hard against the bar.
"Touch her one more time and I'll leave you without a hand." Ricardo speaks through clenched teeth. His eyes are burning with rage.
I shiver. He is really ready to start a fight.
Luigi just nods silently, frightened of what just happened, and then Ricardo lets him go. The guy disappears in a second, and Ricardo turns to look at me. His eyes are burning.
"What are you doing?" he growls, looking at me from above. I see the veins in his temples are pulsing. He's now angry with me.
"Don't you have anyone to talk to?" I raise my voice, still sitting on the chair.
He can't scare me. I'm too angry myself.
"I'm sure Laura is waiting to take a nap next to you. Again." My voice is trembling as I say it, but I still look at him with all that rage I have inside me.
"We're leaving," he says and tries to take me by the hand, but I pull away and don’t move, as if I'm glued to the chair.
For a second, he simply looks into my eyes, trying to understand if I'm serious, but then he grabs my wrist and pulls again, this time harder. I try to get away, but he's too strong. I almost fall from the chair as I stand up and follow him, trying to wrest my hand from his.
"Let me go!" I yell, but he doesn't pay attention.
It's too loud in here, and most people are so drunk they wouldn't even notice if I was naked. "You’re hurting me!" I yell louder to make him let me go.
It's true: he holds me too tightly and it's uncomfortable, but it's still nothing compared to what I feel inside. My heart is burning with pain.
He lets me go right away. I didn't expect that.
The moment I open my mouth to tell him that I won't follow him anymore, he grabs me into his arms and throws me over his shoulder.
"No, let me go, I don't want to go with you!" I yell and hit him in the back, but he just starts walking.
"Help me!" I scream even louder when I see a security guy.
"Goodbye, Mr. Brandini," is the only thing the guy says when he opens the door for Ricardo, not paying attention to me.
I still resist, even though I know it's in vain: he won't let me go.
Ricardo opens the passenger door of his car and pushes me inside, slamming it loudly.
When I try to open the door, I see he locked it with the key, so I can't open it from the inside.
Fuck.
He gets in the driver seat, turns on the engine, and the car abruptly leaves the place.
I feel blood rush in my veins, and my heart beats at a crazy speed.
"I'm not going anywhere with you! Get me out of this car!" I yell, looking at him.
He looks at the road, his lips tightly pressed together. He only increases speed as I yell.
He says nothing, and it pisses me off even more. I snort indignantly.
We're about a mile away from his home.
"The minute you stop the car, I'm going home!" I hoot again as he continues to ignore me.
I turn my face to the window to avoid looking at him. I want to punch him so much. I don’t do it, though, but only because he's driving.
"Yeah, you're very good at running away," he finally adds after a minute of silence.
The icy cold tone of his voice makes me shudder. He's angry with me. But why would he be? I’m the one who’s supposed to be angry.
"What does that mean?!" I ask irritably, looking at him again.
"You heard me."
We’re already at the river, turning in to a parking lot near his place. As the engine shuts off, he turns to me.
"Are you pissed off with me, Angelica?" This time he raises his voice. "Well, you know what? I’m more pissed off with you!"
I say nothing, breathing loudly as my nostrils flare with anger. If I could spew fire, I definitely would.
I try to open the door again, but it's still locked. Only Ricardo can open it with his alarm key.
"You were the one who promised to never leave me," he says, even louder this time, "and you left the very first second you felt insecure in this relationship! Even after I told you that I love you!"
The moment I want to protest, he raises his hands and hits the steering wheel so hard that I jump in surprise.
I’ve never seen him this angry.
I don't say a word, looking at him, frightened.
"I never said it to anyone else before," he continues after a long pause, in a calmer tone. "Never. And it was fucking hard for me to do that. But you ran anyway."
He snorts indignantly.
Oh, so he wants to say it's all my fault that we can't be together?
"Why should I believe you?!" I snort in response, clenching my fists with anger. "You told me you don't sleep in the same bed as your women, but Laura showed me a photo! So don't pretend you're offended that I left, because I'm more offended!"
My throat hurts from how loudly I’m yelling at him.
He turns to look at me. He says nothing. This time he seems more disappointed than angry. "Open this fucking door," I hiss at him after he says nothing.
Doesn't he want to justify himself? If he doesn't, that means he's guilty.
And that's when he opens the door.
I'm free to go.
He lets me go. Just like that.
I get out of the car quickly, rushing toward the road. It's dark as it's almost one in the morning, and there aren’t many cabs at this time.
I want to run or at least to walk faster, but on these high hills I can't do much. I’m as slow as a turtle.
I have to find a car to drive back home.
The moment I think it would be better to call a cab than to search for one, Ricardo grabs me into his arms and puts me on his shoulder again, just like he did when we were at the club.
"Let me go! You can't make me go with you!" I yell, hitting his back with my fists again.
I'm lying on his shoulder with my head to the ground as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me tightly.
"Watch me," is the only thing he says as he walks into the building.
He walks up the stairs briskly, carrying me as if I were weightless. I don’t fight anymore. I know it's worthless. He won't let me go.