“Getting my dress at the drycleaner’s took forever.” I didn’t tell her about chopping the dickhead in the throat, because she would have scolded me if I did. “Then I had to change clothes.” I took a breath. “Again, I’m sorry I was late. I didn’t mean to be.”
She blew another raspberry on Jason’s stomach and said absently, “You and Clark, huh?”
“Me and Clark, what?”
She started to wrestle Jason’s legs and arms into a pair of pajamas. “I just assumed—” She shook her head. “Never mind. I read something into the situation that must not have been there.”
“What exactly did you read?” I got up and walked to stand next to the changing table so I could look at her face. She wore guilt like some women wore a bikini that was too small.
“I’m sorry. I thought you had seduced him at the back of the church.” Her cheeks flamed and she looked everywhere but at me.
“What gave you that idea?” I had to bring my voice down a few octaves, because the level of noise would scare the baby.
“Your hair was all messed up.” She put socks on Jason, his little feet flailing in the air as she tried to catch them. “And your dress was tucked into your panties. You flashed your butt cheeks at all the guests. I told you that you shouldn’t wear thongs with dresses.”
“You act like they’ve never seen butt cheeks before.” I couldn’t contain my snort.
“I doubt any of them have seen butt cheeks at a christening,” she muttered.
Suddenly, it hit me and shame overwhelmed me. “Did I embarrass you?”
“Not at all,” she rushed to say. She took a deep breath in through her nose. “Well, maybe a little, but only because I assumed you screwed him. But now that I know you didn’t, I’m not worried about it, and you shouldn’t be either.”
“I didn’t. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin your day. Not on purpose.”
She looked up at me. Her blue eyes, so like my own, stared into mine. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry I assumed.” She smiled at me. “Forgive me?”
She held a bottle out toward me, and my insides got all warm. “I can feed him?”
She motioned for me to sit down in the rocking chair, and then she passed Jason to me. He rubbed his eyes, already tired. I tucked him into the crook of my arm, lifted his bottle to his mouth, and started to rock.
“He saw me naked,” I suddenly blurted out.
She froze, where she had been folding tiny clothes on the other side of the room. “Who?”
“William Clark.” Jason lifted his fingers to my lips and absently played with my mouth, his eyelids growing heavy as he fought to stay awake.
“William Clark saw you naked? How did that happen?” She spun to face me.
I pulled Jason’s fingers from my lips and let him hold my index finger instead.
“I dashed across the hallway naked and bam! There he was.”
“And what did you do?”
I shrugged, which caused Jason to settle in closer. The warmth of him seeped through my dress. “I covered my tits with my hands and tried to pretend like he wasn’t a really hot man who was looking everywhere but at my naked body.”
She giggled. “How did that work out for you?”
“Oh, he was still a really hot man looking everywhere but at me.” Still handsome on a stick. Still hot. Still scared me to death with that scar across his face and the intensity of his eyes.
She laughed out loud, and Jason startled, so I held him a little tighter. “Shh,” I whispered, as I dragged a finger down the center of his nose. His eyes fell shut.
“So, what did he do?” she asked.
“It was weird—” I stopped. “Never mind,” I muttered.
She sat on the floor in front of me and began to fold laundry there, so she could look at me. “What was weird?” she asked softly.
“He didn’t really even look at me,” I admitted. “It was odd.” I’d never met a man who wouldn’t take any opportunity to stare at a naked woman. At me, in particular. I was well aware that I was beautiful. It wasn’t a gift. It was more of a curse.
“You’re just not used to hanging out with actual gentlemen.”
“Pfftt,” I scoffed. “He’s about as far from being a gentleman as I am from being a nun.”
“He’s actually a really nice guy. He’s been through a lot these past few years.”
“What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “You’d have to ask him.”
“Lynn,” I scolded quietly.
“Not my story to tell,” she replied.
“But there is a story.”
“Yes.”
“A good story?”
“Not for him, no.”
“Jeez, Lynn. Now you have to tell me.”
“I can’t. I promised.”
Great. Now I would have to find out on my own. “He’s hiring an office assistant.”
“And?” Her brow rose as a grin tipped up the corners of her lips.
“And I might be interested.”
She made an odd noise. “In the man or in the position?”
Or in what position I could put the man. “The position,” I said instead. “I would like to have a job.”
“You need a job like I need a hole in my head.”
“I can be respectable,” I rushed to say.
She got to her feet so she could put away the clothes. Then she laid a hand on top of my head. “Or you could be your perfect self.” She leaned down and air-kissed the top of my head.
I was far from perfect, and I knew it.
“Just don’t catch the feelings for him. He has a lot of baggage.”
“What kind of baggage?” I asked. Jason’s bottle fell from his mouth, his lips slack.
“Not my story to tell,” she sang out as she left the room. She popped her head back in. “You can put Jason to bed, right?”
My heart swelled about four sizes larger in my chest. “If I must.”
Then I spent the next hour watching the baby sleep. I laid my hand on his chest and counted his breaths. And knew that I would never have a life like Lynn’s. I would never have a husband or a family, despite how badly I desperately wanted both. I wasn’t made for that kind of life, and nothing could change that fact.
Chapter 6
Clark
At almost two in the morning, I finally dragged my ass back to my office. My whole body hurt. I’d done some stupid shit during my years as a private investigator, but tonight I’d taken stupid to a whole new level. And I didn’t catch the person I’d been trying to find. He’d eluded me, right after waving and taunting me into jumping off a rooftop to get to him. I’d missed. And it hurt.
I stopped abruptly when I saw my office door was open just a crack, enough that I could see that the light was on. I’d turned it off before I left. My place of business was in an office building, and I only used it to store paperwork and meet with clients. The rest of my work was done in the field. On rooftops. In alleyways. Seedy bars. Where the criminals went, I followed.