The only person more devastated than I was about my best friends blacklisting me was my mama. She enjoyed the privilege that accompanied my connection with them. She was popular by association, but the moment I was last season’s Prada, she started losing her patience.
“Why can’t you be on my side for once? Why are you so quick to believe the rest of the world? I’m your daughter!”
Mama’s lip twitched as she appraised me, licking her lips as she mulled over how to respond. “It’s not that I don’t believe you…”
“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like. You didn’t believe me when I said the girls leaked naked photos of me in the locker room all over social media, either.” I could feel my fury growing as I spoke. “You keep punishing me. Taking away the things that don’t fit into the plan you have for my life, and it’s bullshit.”
“Heavens to Betsy. Watch your language!” she yelled at me.
“I’ve been beaten up. I’ve been picked on. I’ve been tormented every day. You know they put a used condom on my locker? A used one!” I watched her face for a reaction, and more disappointment flooded me when I saw that she didn’t have one. “You care more about your job at the school than you care about me.”
“I can’t take care of you if I lose my job at the school, Scarlett.”
I scoffed. She didn’t take care of me now.
“I’m not going,” I said with a growl. “You’ve already taken away gymnastics, now you’re taking away my school?” I couldn’t believe this. Smith Academy might be full of assholes, but it was also where the guys were. It was the only place I still saw them.
“Again with the gymnastics?” Mama asked in an exasperated voice before throwing her arms up in the air. Truthfully, I knew I should be happy about this. It could be a good thing for me. It could be the fresh start I needed— and I needed space from Savannah. I just didn’t want it. Not yet.
“You’re going, Scarlett Anne. I swear on God’s good grace that you’d best not be giving me any trouble about this. Start saying your goodbyes.”
Ha. The only people I actually wanted to say goodbye to had already said it to me.
Mama’s eyes softened as she stared at me, and I saw a glimpse of the woman she was before. Before dad left us for a younger model. Before the guys started making my life miserable.
She did love me. She just loved the idea of a perfect life more. She didn’t need drugs or alcohol, because she was addicted to climbing the social ladder. She sat down, making the couch dip beside me and I breathed in her perfume—Chanel. It was a fragrance that once comforted me, but now I associated it with her selfish parenting style.
“This could be good, you know,” she whispered. It was like even here, protected in our home, she didn’t want to be overheard. “This could be good for both of us. I won’t deny that you got the short end of the stick, Scarlett. You’ve been miserable since they cut you off last year.”
I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory. It was still so odd to me. I fell asleep feeling loved and at the center of the guy’s universe, then woke up as their enemy. If only I knew what I did to make them hate me so much, maybe then I could finally let them go.
Mama straightened, as if that was enough sentimental bullshit for her. “Anyway, you’re going. End of story.” She got up and smoothed her suit. “You’ll go to Switzerland, and you can finally leave this all behind. It’ll be better this way, you’ll see.”
My chest caved in. All of the holding back I’d done for months was for nothing. She’d been threatening me with boarding school, and now, it was happening, even though I’d let the bullies walk all over me. I’d let them disgrace me and humiliate me, and it hadn’t meant a damn thing.
When Mama left, I took a few steadying breaths before standing to look in the mirror hanging in our entryway. I stared at each bruise. I took in how empty my eyes were, and how my lips seemed permanently fixed into a frown. I was done. I was leaving, even though I’d tried so hard to stay. But you know what? I didn’t need anyone or anything. Mama, the guys, and Smith Academy might have all given up on me, but I wasn’t giving up on myself.
I was going to be shipped of? Fine. I’d give them all a goodbye to remember.
Chapter Six
The little black dress I’d stolen from my mama’s closet was tight. Too tight. Where she was shorter and willowy, I was taller with a round, firm butt, and strong arms and legs. I didn’t usually show off my body, because Mama hated it. She always had some comment to make about how I was too muscular for a girl, but really, she just wanted me to be soft like her. But I was proud of my figure—the way my thighs were toned and tan, and even though my breasts were on the smaller size, I still had an hourglass figure, so I filled out the thin material nicely, showing off just how strong and feminine I was.
After deciding that the dress was perfect, I studied the rest of me. My long, brown hair framed around my face that was mostly dominated by my large brown eyes and full lips. I stared at the cut on my lip. At first, I’d tried to cover it up with makeup, but after debating for three hours whether or not I actually wanted to attend this party, I decided to leave it bare. Let the world see that I was bullied, I didn’t care.
Rogue Kelly was having a party at his parent’s estate tonight. It was something he did most Saturdays since kicking me out of the group. Rogue and the guys had always been known for their lavish parties, but it seemed that since I was out, they'd started throwing them more consistently. It was an unspoken understanding that I wasn’t invited to anything they put on, but I didn’t care.
Since yesterday, I’d come to terms with my future. Knowing that I was going to Switzerland to an all-girls school freed me in a way. What was the worst that they could do now? I was leaving. I could handle the hate. I couldn’t handle leaving without closure. So, here I was. Dressed up in a tight dress and heels like a warrior going off to the front lines. At least I looked good.
I walked downstairs, clasping my clutch in my hand as my heels clicked along the marble tile. It had been a while since I’d gotten dressed up.
“Well, you’re overdressed for dinner with the Taylors,” Mama observed from her chair in the sitting room.
She was the picture of hypocrisy, wearing a bright flowered dress that showed off her cleavage and complimented her pale skin. She was impatiently clicking her red nails along the side table while assessing me.
I cursed inwardly. I’d forgotten that our monthly dinner was tonight. These dinners started when Godfrey and I were kids. It was our parents’ lame attempt at fixing us up together. I watched as she glanced at the clock, likely counting the seconds until Daddy showed up. That was the thing about a good image, you had to maintain it. Daddy might have been living in a hotel across town with his flavor of the month, but he still showed up here for family dinner. Even though everyone whispered about his affairs, my mama liked to keep the illusion of having a happy family. I thought it just made her look like a joke.
“I’m not staying for dinner,” I said just as the doorbell rang, saving me from her angry response.