It had all started when I’d gone with Scarlett, my loving sister whom I often referred to as Lettie for short, to visit Hazel at work one day at the video game store she managed. I heard her talking to one of the kids there about a game she was really into called Hadrian’s Wall. She’d given him her name in the video game and what server she played on.
And just like with all things pertaining to Hazel, I’d been paying close attention. Probably too close, because I memorized that shit. And then at the end of summer when I had a measly two weeks left before classes and real training started back, I decided to have a celebration.
And that celebration was basically drinking a lot of beer and watching my big sister, Scarlett, get white girl wasted on wine coolers. It’s sometimes unfortunate when your best friend is a girl and your sister.
When Lettie finally passed out while complaining what a long summer it had been without her kiddos at school—she was an overdramatic school teacher—I made my way to my room, liquid courage in my veins and a whole lot of wanting in my heart. Almost a whole lifetime’s worth.
I opened my laptop and created a fake me. A me I knew Hazel would like. I’d seen her get around enough to know the kinds of guys she was into and they were the opposite of young football player Oliver Knox. I updated my profile. I’d be a forty-two-year-old man with brown hair and blue eyes. Gray Wolfe was the gaming name I picked, my avatar a hybrid man-wolf. I found the server she played on and waited and kept drinking until she signed on and then I tried to chat with her. It didn’t work the first night. And even though I felt guilty about doing it when I was sober the next morning, it didn’t stop me from trying to chat with her while I played the game that day either, which was a surprisingly stellar game. Elves, shapeshifters, vampires. It had it all. The goal of the game was to protect Hadrian’s Wall. It was interactive and fun and I could see why Hazel liked it. After three days of trying, she gave into Gray Wolfe and I felt like I finally had a chance. Or at least Gray Wolfe did.
And I’d been waiting on a chance with Hazel since, well, forever.
Sure, I may have had an alternate phone number added to my phone and I may have been lying to her about my name and my age, but I never once lied about how I felt or about who I really was, on the inside. We’d only been talking in the video game for about a week before I’d finally convinced her to give me her phone number so we could actually text. And we’d only been texting for about two weeks. I’d kept it mostly platonic at this point, but I was starting to get bolder with my flirting. I didn’t want her to run off.
Tonight was the first night in a very long time that she hadn’t messaged me and told me about her day at work. We were both pretty busy during the day, but the nights belonged to Gray Wolfe and Hazeyeyes—her name on the game. She would talk on and on about the kids who worked for her at the video game store she managed. And the stories she’d tell me about her pops were the best and not surprising at all since I’d met the old coot on many occasions. The best was when she’d tell me about Scarlett. The only other person I knew better than myself. But she didn’t know that. She didn’t know anything about Gray Wolfe really, except that I was in sports medicine. Not quite a lie. And that I was a forty-two-year-old divorced man. The rest that she knew was pure her Winnie. The name she’d been calling me since she’d learned my middle name when we were just small children.
Her Winnie. Why hadn’t she been on tonight? What if she knew? What if she figured it out and that was why she hadn’t texted me today? Jesus, she’d probably show up in the morning at Scarlett’s and my apartment with a shotgun and a shovel and I had a feeling if Scarlett found out about what I’d been doing, she would be the one doing the digging.
I was dead meat if they found me out.
My worry gave way to sleep eventually. It couldn’t be helped. A college football player’s days were long and the nights were too short. I was almost completely knocked out with my phone in my hand under my pillow when I felt it vibrate. I snatched it out quickly, half startled, half excited. Sleep forgotten.
Hazel: Sorry I didn’t message sooner. It’s been a hell of a night.
Me: Pops?
Hazel: How did you know? LOL
Me: Wild guess ;)
Hazel: Yeah, he had me out at Chaser’s in the middle of the fucking night.
I was this close to asking if he was gambling at Chaser’s, but Gray Wolfe didn’t know that. Oliver did.
Me: Chasers? And I didn’t know the night could fuck. How interesting.
Hazel: Yeah. Some shitty bar here all of his old friends go to play the illegal poker machines. And you’re a smartass.
Me: Sounds like a snazzy joint and thank you.
Hazel: LOL Who the hell says snazzy?
Me: Gray Wolfe does. You got a problem with that?
Hazel: If I do, what are you gonna do about it?
A million things. I would do so many damn things to Hazel that would blow her mind. And even though I was a virgin, I wasn’t naïve about sex. I’d watched porn. I had fantasies. Most of them including one gorgeous brown-eyed, brown-haired girl. And the things I’d do to her were limitless.
Me: Wouldn’t you like to know?
Hazel: That’s why I asked, genius.
I decided to call her bluff.
Me: Why don’t you come over and find out?
Hazel: How would I do that? I have no idea where you live.
Me: Then ask me.
It was a dare. I’d lost my mind. I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking. I just knew I wanted to see her badly enough in that moment that I was willing to out myself like a damn fool. But as the seconds turned into minutes I felt dread settle over me. What if I’d gone too far? What if this was it? Hazel didn’t get serious about her guys. I had to keep this light if I was going to keep her on the hook.
Hazel: Good night, Gray.
Fuck, I hoped she wasn’t mad. I wouldn’t press the subject, though. I knew Hazel like I knew myself and one thing you had to have plenty of when it came to her was patience. So even though it almost killed me not to ask if she was mad or if I’d gone too far, I responded with a simple good night as well. There was always tomorrow, right?
Gray: Favorite color?
I put my phone under the counter, determined not to answer him. I mean, I was at work. I was busy and I definitely wasn’t smiling. Not even a little bit. Damn him. And I definitely wasn’t thinking about our conversation last night and how he’d all but practically begged me to ask him where he lived. Because that was almost too much. This was fun, but if it started getting too personal, then it would definitely become serious. And I didn’t do serious. Right?
“What are you over there grinning about?” Chad, one of the college kids who worked for me, asked.
Had I been smiling? What the hell? Yes, I was. Straightening my face, I pushed my glasses up on my nose and lied through my teeth. “My friend sent me a joke.” I handed him some games to put away as a distraction. “Can you go put these away with the PC games?”