Oh my god.
A stale silence threaded its way between us.
“You’re wondering if he slept with me already,” she said at last. “Is it killing you?”
I swallowed but said nothing.
It wasn’t killing me, because I was pretty sure all the important pieces of me had already died.
“Because I know he slept with you,” Lottie said. “The entire fucking world knows now.”
I crushed a petal beneath my foot.
“All night I’ve been wondering which of us felt worse…but I think we’re both in the same hell, just different wallpaper.”
Lottie took a deep breath. “I hadn’t planned for the world to know, but I guess I probably should’ve prepared for that.”
Planned? Prepared?
I couldn’t help it. My shock had me lifting my head, and I found her already looking at me.
“Oh no. Did you think he did that on his own?” she asked softly. “Who do you think gave him permission? He had to get you out of his system someway.”
My breath rushed out of me, as knowing washed over me.
The letter.
I shouldn’t have been surprised Lottie knew we’d slept together; it was exactly what I’d come to expect from the rich.
Still, I felt dirtier than before, when I’d only been a cheater. Now I was used. Stupid, too. I grasped my hand, rubbing my ring finger. Every good thing about that memory stained and tarnished and ruined.
I turned on my heel, ready to get out, end this night as quickly as possible.
“Where are you going?” Lottie asked to my back. “I need my girl.”
“I’ve already dressed you. What else do you need, Miss du Lac?”
Her nostrils flared. “Mrs. Grayson Crowne.”
I clenched my jaw, but this time I didn’t say sorry. I just stared back.
“What do you need, Mrs. Crowne?”
She glowered. “It’s my wedding night. What do you think?”
My blood temperature dropped. “You can’t be serious.”
She blinked and looked away.
“You’re supposed to be my girl.” I realized tears had filled her eyes. She honestly looked terrified. “You stole my girl’s spot. You stole my spot. You can’t even do this? Do you think I want—” She broke off on a sob. “You’ll come and get the sheets.”
Just as the door opened behind us.
GRAY
Snitch was talking to Lottie when I came to her. It was some kind of perverted fantasy, seeing my girl before my wife.
Lottie lifted her eyes to mine. “Remember what I said.”
“Of course, Mrs. Crowne,” Snitch said, and bowed her head and left.
My head swiveled to follow her down the hall. I wasn’t sure if she was wearing her locket. I didn’t fucking like that. Didn’t like when she’d tried to hide it from me.
“Sure you don’t want to chase after her?” Lottie asked.
Shit.
Caught.
“Lottie—”
She put up a hand, turning away. “This is the worst wedding night in the history of wedding nights.”
At least Snitch was gone. For a horrifying second, I thought it would be her taking the sheets.
“I don’t want her as my girl anymore. I don’t care that her uncle is dying. I don’t care if her whole family is dying. I can’t do this anymore. Why can’t we just pay for them to live somewhere else?”
“This is their home,” I said. “It’s…his home. He’s been like a father to me.” I gripped her hands. “If it was just Sn—Story, I would do what you ask, believe me.”
It burned coming out, the idea of kicking her out onto the streets.
I knew it was better for everyone. Safer for Snitch, even, with my grandfather around. But I still couldn’t stomach the thought of never seeing her again.
“That old man is the only father I’ve ever known,” I continued. “I can’t abandon him when he only has a few weeks left to live. Story is his only real family.”
Her jaw clenched until the muscle popped.
If my wife had been anyone else, she wouldn’t have given a shit over my explanation. So what? Kick him out.
Instead she fell down, defeated.
“You know we can’t suppress everything. If you google her name, do you know what pops up now? Cinderella stories. She’s like a folk hero on the internet. Forums are dedicated to her. They call me the wicked wife. I’m the villain.”
Lottie stared abjectly at the floor.
“When I pictured my wedding night, there were sweet kisses, and tender passion. Instead I let my husband fuck someone else, and now the whole world knows how little he wants me.”
I got to my knees in front of her. “Let me make it up to you.”
“The longer she stays, the worse it will get. So I guess I’m praying for someone to die now. Is that who I am?” She looked up at me, eyes wet.
I thumbed the tear about to fall off her cheek.
“Every day for the rest of our life, I’ll prove to you that I’m a worthy husband.”
I won’t be my father.
I won’t abandon my wife.
I won’t put Snitch in danger.
I slid my thumb from Lottie’s cheek, into her curls, cupping her neck, forcing her to feel my earnestness in my grip. “I’ll give you a baby, I’ll give you a life, I’ll give you the world.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes. “I can’t stop seeing you two together. It was one thing to imagine it.”
I gripped her tighter, pulling her closer. “You are my wife. My loyalty is to you.”
“I want to believe you. But you threw a punch for her on our wedding night, Grayson,” she whispered.
“Lottie, you were my first love. You will be my last love. I just need time. Can you give me that?”
Her eyes softened. “I guess.”
“We won’t be the couple of the century, Lottie. We’ll be the family of the century. This isn’t a nightmare. We’ll make it a dream. I promise.”
“I want to believe you…” she repeated on a whisper.
“So do. Let me make it up to you.” I tugged on her hand. “I’m serious when I say you’re my wife.”
“But you still love her. Will you ever stop?”
I couldn’t imagine that day ever coming. I’d told Snitch the same earlier. I would love her. I would always love her. Snitch had sewed herself into the very essence of me.
But for Lottie’s sake, for our marriage’s sake, I lied. “I just need time.”
“They expect us to have sex,” she said miserably. “They want bloody sheets. I already lost my virginity. What fucking year is it?”
I made a face. That didn’t mean shit.
I stood up, giving her my hand, and led her up the stairs to my bedroom.
Our.
I undid the bandage on my knuckles, scraping blood onto the sheets. Maybe it was a twisted poetry, bleeding from skin I broke against her brother’s face, because of the girl still between us.
“There. Done.”
She smiled weakly.
I tilted her chin up with my thumb. “I haven’t seen that all night.” Her smile dropped, and I gripped her chin softly. “Charlotte.”