We drop our bags behind the large elm tree and begin our lesson. I’ve been taking Krav Maga classes since I was fifteen, and that was the last time that bastard put his hands on me. I hate that I need to instruct my ten-year-old sister in basic self-defense techniques, but I was only slightly older than her when Aaron starting crawling into my bed at night.
I don’t know if the fact she is his flesh and blood will make a difference. To me, once a predator, always a predator, and I won’t take any chances. Mom stood by and let her husband sexually assault and rape me for years, so I can’t rely on her to keep Kayleigh safe. The only person who can do that is Kayleigh, so I’m trying to find a way to help her without going into all the reasons why.
When we’re done, I take her to the ice cream stand, and then, we sit on the bench close to the exit, eating our ice cream and sipping from bottles of water, chatting as we wait for Mom to collect her.
“Romy says Mitchell thinks I’m pretty,” she admits, peeking at me through her lashes. A faint blush stains her cheeks. Romy is her best friend at school, but this is the first time I’m hearing about Mitchell.
“That’s sweet, and he’s right. You’re such a pretty little princess.” I smile at her, sweeping a stray strand of hair out of her face before it lands in her ice cream. “And what about him? Is he cute?”
She shrugs, but by the way her cheeks flare up, I’m guessing she thinks so. “Romy said he wants to be my boyfriend.”
I almost choke on my water. “I think you’re a little young to be thinking about boyfriends.” I kiss the top of her head. “There will be plenty of time for that when you’re older.” I just want to bundle my sister up and keep her away from guys until she’s old enough.
“Boys are kinda gross anyway,” she adds, dipping her tongue into her ice cream, licking the very last remnants of her cone.
“Truth, girl.” I kiss the top of her head again. “And when they don’t feel gross is when you know you’re ready to date.” I’m not sure I’m the best person to be advising her, but I’m all she’s got. My phone pings with a text, and I sigh, rubbing the sudden sharp pain that pierces my chest cavity. I stand, holding out my hand. “Time to go, little princess.”
“I hate this part.” Sadness clouds her eyes.
“Me too.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “But it won’t be forever.” I dump our trash and turn to her with a sad smile.
“I love you, Nessa.” She flings her arms around me.
My heart blossoms to life behind my chest. “I love you too, Kayleigh.” I hug her close. “So, so much.”
My cell pings a second time, and I grind my teeth to my molars as I reluctantly extricate myself from my sister and walk her out of the park.
Mom’s car is idling by the curb. I kiss and hug Kayleigh once more before opening the door to the back seat, watching her climb in. “Enjoy the beach,” I say, because they are heading to The Hamptons this weekend, and I won’t see her for a few weeks. The thought makes my heart ache, but I keep a smile plastered on my face, purely for Kayleigh’s benefit.
Mom lowers the passenger side window, and I poke my head in. “How are you?” she asks, hiding her eyes behind large sunglasses.
“I’m okay.” She’s wearing a long-sleeved patterned blouse in the height of summer. “How are you?”
“Fine.” She removes an envelope from the glove box, stretching across the console to hand it to me. “It’s not much, but I have to be careful.”
“I know, Mom.”
I fucking hate this.
I hate how weak she is.
How she let herself get trapped like this.
How she let that monster control every aspect of her life.
How she abandoned her kids and checked out on life instead of fighting.
But another part of me understands because I spent years trying to numb myself to everything too.
The difference is she was an adult with responsibilities.
Still, she’s trying now, in the only way she knows how.
“Thanks, Mom.” I glance at the back seat. “Keep him away from her,” I whisper so Kayleigh doesn’t hear.
She nods. “Stay safe, honey.”
I step back from the curb, watching with a heavy heart as Mom eases back out into traffic.
“Cute kid,” a deep, masculine voice says at my ear, and I jump in fright.
“Are you trying to give me a coronary!” I shriek, eyeing Jackson in disbelief. “Are you following me?” Grabbing the strap of my bag, I take a step away from him.
“No need to freak the hell out, Nessa. It’s not like I’m some fucking serial killer.” He grabs his white wifebeater from the back pocket of his running shorts, using it to wipe a light sheen of sweat from his brow. “Someone got me all hot and bothered earlier, and I needed a run.” His eyes twinkle with mischief.
My eyes roam over his sculpted chest and down over his carved abs. I lick my lips at the sight of the defined V-indents at his hips and the trail of dark-blond hair sneaking under the waistband of his shorts. “I don’t remember you looking like that,” I blurt, instantly cursing myself for having zero game. Jackson was always toned with lean muscle, but this is a new look for him.
One I like.
A lot.
He presses warm lips to my ear, making my knees tremble and my legs turn to Jell-O. “Liking what you see, babe?”
“You know you look good,” I admit, refusing to look into his eyes. “You were never shy about that.”
“I know who I am, and I own it.” He brushes some strands of hair off his brow. “Although, I wasn’t in control back then.”
I startle at his admission, meeting his gaze dead on.
“You’re not the only one who has changed,” he adds, his voice gentling.
I’m momentarily speechless.
“You got plans?” he asks, and I shake my head. “Have dinner with me?”
“What?”
Have I wandered into some alternate realm? What the hell is going on here?
His answering smile almost knocks me off my feet. “Let me take you to dinner.”
“Why?” The word has left my lips before I can stop it. I’m acting like a total idiot, and it’s embarrassing.
“Because I want to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman, and I owe you an apology for all those times I was a dick to you.”
“You don’t have to buy me dinner to apologize. Apology accepted.”
He chuckles. “Are you always like this when someone asks you out on a date?”
“I wouldn’t know,” I whisper, averting my eyes. “No one has ever asked me out before.” My cheeks flare at that admission.
It’s pathetic.
I’m nineteen.
I’ve been sexually active for years.
I’ve done things most girls my age haven’t done or are unlikely to ever do.
Yet, I have never been on a proper date.
“Then, it’s decided.” He takes my hand, bringing it to his lips. His mouth brushes against my knuckles, and I feel his featherlight kiss all over my body. “I’m taking you out, and I won’t take no for an answer.”