“What’s so funny?” Derek asked with a mouth full of beef.
“Nothing,” Zoey and Jonathan said in unison. Jonathan smirked and popped a piece he had successfully cut off into his mouth. His square jaw moved as he chewed, but a smile stayed on his lips.
Zoey leaned in and whispered with a hand shield to Addison, “Exes aren’t supposed to look that good.”
“You should jump on him. Really pounce,” Addison said loudly, gulping her wine. She lifted the wine glass upside down over her mouth, letting the last droplets of wine hit her tongue. Addison’s eyes remained closed as she smacked her lips and smiled. Zoey really hoped her friend didn’t fall asleep in her quinoa.
Zoey turned to Caroline and brushed her arm to get her attention. Zoey pointed to Addison. “How much has she had to drink?”
“Oh,” Caroline gasped. “This could be bad.”
“What?” Zoey asked.
“Addison hasn’t been drinking at all for three months. This was her first day she was allowing herself wine. Plus, all those vegetables won’t absorb the alcohol,” Caroline said.
Addison slouched in her patio chair with her hands on her stomach. Her eyes narrowed and stared straight ahead, not tracking any of Zoey’s movements. Addison hiccupped.
Zoey leaned over Addison and smacked Derek on his shoulder.
“Ow,” Derek said, holding the spot Zoey smacked.
“How much has she had?” Zoey asked, pointing at Addison. Addison held up some of Zoey’s hair and started a loose braid.
“I don’t know, maybe three?” Derek guessed, jutting his bottom lip out and shrugging his shoulders.
“Caroline said she hasn’t been drinking,” Zoey said.
“Not really. It’s been awesome. I’ve had a DD everywhere. Some health thing she’s doing,” Derek said, finishing off his last beer and immediately opening a new one.
“Doesn’t this worry you?” Zoey asked, pointing a finger at Addison.
“She’ll be fine. She might just sleep really late tomorrow. We got an Uber over here, so I told her to have fun and let loose.”
Just then, Addison made a sound, and Zoey felt something warm and gooey hit her neck. Oh no, that can’t be…
Then, the smell hit her. “Oh fuck,” Zoey yelled. She stood up, pink vomit dripping from her dress and her hair.
Derek set his fist to his mouth to hide a smile and then shouted, “DAYUM!”
“I’m sorry,” Addison cried, wiping the vomit from her mouth. “I am so sorry, Zoey. I love you and…” Addison’s words tumbled into mumbling sobs.
“It’s okay,” Zoey said, glaring at Derek. Not only was her life in shambles and all of her ex-boyfriends were here, but all of them were witnessing her getting vomited on. She looked up, expecting to see Dan having a similar reaction to Derek, but Dan backed his chair up with a concerned look. Jonathan stood up as well and hurried around the table.
“Okay, we’re getting up.” Zoey hoisted Addison up by the armpits and hooked her arm around Zoey’s shoulder. Addison had four inches and about fifteen pounds on Zoey, but Zoey was determined to get her friend to a bathroom before she puked on her again.
“Do you have her?” Derek asked, standing up slowly like a woman who fake-grabs her wallet when a check comes at the end of a date.
“No, I got it,” Zoey seethed at Derek as she repositioned Addison’s arm on her shoulder. Zoey began an inevitable crumpling to the ground.
“No, you don’t,” Jonathan said as he hooked Addison’s knees with his arm and picked her up like she weighed nothing. Though she was covered in vomit, Zoey felt a rush of heat course through her body watching Jonathan swoop in and willingly pick up a vomit-covered girl while her fiancé acted like an asshole. Calm down, you can’t be turned on while you’re covered in vomit, she told herself.
“What a way to start the wedding weekend off,” Caroline said. Whatever pill Caroline took was doing God’s work since she would’ve been ranting and flailing if not medicated.
“Now I’ve lost my appetite,” Brady said, crinkling a napkin and throwing it on his plate. “We should’ve eloped.”
“It’ll all be okay,” Caroline said, patting Brady’s shoulder.
Relaxed Caroline was odd.
Jonathan cocked his head toward the door. Zoey rushed to open the slider, and Jonathan walked inside like he professionally carried women when they vomited on themselves.
“Do you do this often? Rescuing drunk girls from barbecues?” Zoey asked.
“Nope. First and hopefully the last time,” Jonathan said. Zoey’s gaze settled on his engaged bicep peeking out from his shirt. Zoey planned on an ice-cold shower of her own after she hosed off Addison.
They found a bathroom at the end of the hallway. Jonathan placed Addison on the bathmat directly in front of the toilet. He was so smart.
Shut up, Zoey.
“I don’t look like much, but I can hold a handstand for two minutes. I could’ve gotten my friend here no problem. I didn’t need your help,” Zoey said.
“What, were you going to drag her?” Jonathan asked.
“Hey,” Addison’s voice echoed, her head in the toilet. “Please be nice to each other. You loved each other once.” With that, Addison spewed into the toilet.
My feelings exactly, Zoey thought. Zoey took Addison’s hair into a small ponytail. How did she get here? Helping her friend, who just vomited on her, while her ex-boyfriend stood by just in case she needed muscle. An ex-boyfriend she was actively confused and hurt by—but also incredibly turned on by.
If he was going to stand here, watching Addison vomit, he might as well make himself useful.
“Hey, buddy,” Zoey said, pointing to her makeup bag set up on the counter. “Can you look for a hair tie in there, please?”
Following orders, Jonathan opened the makeup bag and moved products around, until he pulled out a black hair tie and presented it to her. Zoey tied back Addison’s short hair into a tiny stub.
“Headband?” Zoey asked. Jonathan pulled out a white terrycloth headband and handed it to her. Zoey wrapped it around Addison’s head, and the hair was finally out of the danger zone.
“Jonathan, can you go into my luggage and get some clothes for us? I think I have a couple shirts and workout shorts in there,” Zoey asked as Addison spat loudly into the toilet. Except for the vomit, this situation was fun. Bossing Jonathan around as restitution felt oddly satisfying.
Jonathan dutifully disappeared from the bathroom.
“You are such a good friend,” Addison said. Then she started crying.
Great.
Jonathan walked into Zoey’s room, which was directly across from his. He located her luggage, unzipped it, then hesitated.
This feels wrong, he thought as he slowly pulled back the top to reveal neatly folded clothing. His eyes drifted to the mesh pocket on the top side. There were lacy items in there, probably underwear. He snapped his head back. No, he would not be the weird guy touching a woman’s underwear. Even if it was Zoey’s.
He squinted so he could see a sliver of what he was touching. He found a couple baggy shirts and some shorts and hurried back to the bathroom.