I close my eyes and rest my chin on my son’s head, breathing in his baby smell and asking the universe for a sign for what I should do.
The universe remains silent.
12
Nia
It’s two days after the incident with Cooper and I’ve barely seen Jared in that time, other than by sneak peeks through the window across to the garage. There was a moment that passed between us, I’m sure of it, but I’m less certain of what that moment meant. Jared seems to blow hot and then cold with me and I don’t know where we stand—if we stand anywhere at all. Perhaps I’m reading too much into things. Maybe I should just focus on my new business and not on chasing Jared.
Besides, I come with so much baggage as it is. It’s not fair to put that on someone else. Between my hang-ups over Thomas and my insecurity over trusting men, I’m not sure where that leaves us—if it leaves us anywhere. All I know is since Thomas I haven’t looked twice at a man—until Jared. He stirs something in me I thought was broken. He makes me want again. He makes me less afraid of letting someone else in. Fear still clogs my throat when I think about it, but it doesn’t seem quite as scary.
That’s a feat in itself. I never thought I’d be interested in another man ever again.
As I go to put the key in the shop door, I become aware of a presence behind me. I twist and see Thomas standing there. It’s like thinking of the devil conjured him.
“What are you—”
He doesn’t let me finish. He leans around me and unlocks the store, then pushes me roughly inside.
My heart is racing as I step back from him, putting some distance between us. I would prefer to have more than a shelving unit separating us, but there’s not a lot I can do about that right now.
“You need to leave.” My voice wobbles a little and I hate that it does.
“You need to come home and stop this nonsense. I’ve indulged your tantrum, but I want you home.”
My brain implodes. What the hell is he talking about?
“I’m never coming home. We’re getting divorced—”
He throws his hands up in the air and reflex has me stumbling back further from his anger, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Over my dead body. I’ve indulged this… separation for long enough.”
“You can’t come here and behave like this, Thomas. Not anymore. I’m not your little bird you can keep in a gilded cage. Unless you’re bringing divorce papers, I don’t want to see you again—”
He moves so fast, my words catch in my throat. Then I find myself pressed against the wall, his hand wrapped around my neck. My past comes crashing down on me and every strength I developed escaping him disappears.
“You’re coming home.”
I shake my head, which is probably not the smartest thing to do when one squeeze could end my life, but I can’t go back to that scared woman I was.
“You killed our relationship, Thomas. You. Not me.” I manage to gasp out around his hand.
He squeezes harder and my vision begins to darken.
Just as inky blackness creeps in, his grip is dragged from me. I cough, taking in a heaving breath of oxygen. When I’m able to see past the watering in my eyes, I see Jared. He has Thomas in a headlock and he’s not showing any sign of letting him go.
“Jared…” I murmur his voice, not because I’m scared of him, but because I’m worried what he might do.
But he seems completely in control as he raises his eyes to me. There’s anger there, but there’s not the rage I would see in Thomas’s eyes when he was intent on hurting me. He’s calm and collected, even behind the fury.
I watch as he hisses in Thomas’s ear, “You like hurting women? See how you like fighting someone your own size, asshole.” His gaze comes to me. “Call the cops, Nia.”
I don’t move. I should call the cops, but I don’t want to go through the hassle of explaining my situation. Honestly, I’m mortified he’s witnessing it.
“Jared… let him go.”
I’m not worried about Thomas getting hurt, but I am worried about Jared getting into trouble. Thomas isn’t someone who lets things go easily. I don’t want to bring my drama to his door.
Jared’s eyes narrow on me for a second before he releases his hold on Thomas, who makes a great show of coughing and spluttering. I notice Jared keeps his hands ready at his sides, waiting in case he has to strike out again.
“Who is this guy?” Jared demands.
“I’m her husband,” Thomas spits out while rubbing his throat.
“Ex-husband,” I correct.
Jared’s anger moves from dangerous to catastrophic. “You put your hands on a woman you once professed to love?”
“I still love her, although fuck knows why.”
Jared’s face twitches and darkness clouds his expression.
I step in before things get heated. The tension is already thick.
“You should leave.”
“Yes, you should,” Thomas says.
“I meant you.”
He snaps his gaze to me. “I want to talk through this.”
“It didn’t look like there was much talking happening,” Jared grinds out.
“This isn’t anything to do with you.”
Thomas shrinks back as Jared steps into his space. I don’t blame him. He’s a huge man and his Army training is still ingrained. He put Thomas in that headlock without so much as a fumble.
“It’s plenty to do with me when I see a man putting his hands on a woman who is smaller than him, a woman I happen to care about.”
This makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter, and not from nerves, but something more pleasant. He cares about me? Really?
“Is something going on between you?” Thomas demands, anger in his words.
“If it was that would be none of your business,” I say quietly. I’m not scared of him, not while Jared is here. I know he’ll keep me safe. It buoys me and gives me the confidence to stand up to my ex.
“We’re still married.”
“Not by choice.”
His lip pulls into a snarl and Jared seizes his shirt, shoving him roughly toward the door.
“You need to leave, now.”
Thomas isn’t keen on going, but Jared’s larger size and bulk means he’s able to easily manhandle him out of the store. I watch, my breath lodged in my throat as they have a few words on the doorstep and then Thomas straightens his clothes and takes off leaving Jared standing on the sidewalk alone. He watches for a moment, then steps back inside.
“Are you okay?”
Embarrassment floods me at having my world exposed so completely. This is the last thing I wanted him to see. I feel suddenly vulnerable and turn my back to him.
“I’m fine. Thank you. I can handle it from here.”
“Nia.” He says my name like a plea and I can’t help but glance over my shoulder. I see a mix of pity, worry and anger on his face. I hate the first two.
“It’s fine,” I repeat. “It’s nothing I’m not used to.”
My hand goes unconsciously to my neck, which I’m sure will be bruised tomorrow.