“Why does it sound so hot when you say it like that?”
Now I do groan. “You’re killing me here, Katie. I’m trying to be a good and honorable man, and you’re telling me that what I’m saying sounds hot and that you miss sex. I’m a guy sweetheart; there is only so much I can take.” And I’m about at my end.
She laughs like I knew she would, and then she leans back into me, and we start to walk again. “You are sort of a perfect guy, aren’t you, Ryan Grant? I’m jealous of the woman who gets you, and I don’t even know her.”
I want to tell her that she could have me this very second, but I don’t.
I can’t.
She doesn’t actually want me.
Katie is still very much stuck in the past and in love with her husband. She’d regret me before the condom even came off, and I know I couldn’t handle that.
“Back at you, babe. I sort of want to take down the guy who gets you.” Actually no sort of about it.
She leans her head back against the door to her room. “You’re a liar, but a sweet one. So I’ll let you get away with it just this once,” she winks at me and I’m not exactly sure what she’s talking about. “Good night, Ryan.” She leans up and kisses my cheek before pulling back and going into her room, leaving me in a world of horny frustration and emotional confusion.
In all the many ways I’ve thought of her—imagined her—over the years, I never quite did her justice. She is so much better than any fantasy I ever conjured up, and I have a fantastic imagination. Katie is my wildest dreams and greatest hope combined into one stunningly perfect package. And I want to open it up so damn badly. But there is no way that will ever happen. There is just no way.
8
Kate
* * *
I wake to a loud pounding in my head and that sick, icky feeling in my stomach, which can only be the result of too much alcohol the night before. More pounding, and then I realize it’s the door.
Crawling out of bed, I grab the robe and wrap it around myself before I open the door to a frowning Ryan. “What’s up, dude? Why the early morning wake-up call?”
“Well, dude,” he mocks, walking past me into my room. “First of all, you need to tie that damn robe because I can see you’re only wearing panties under it, and it’s more than I can deal with at the moment.”
I shrug a shoulder, not really caring that he saw my stomach and panties. It’s not like he saw my boobs. He’s grumpy today.
“Second of all,” he continues as I tie a knot and turn around to face him. “It’s not early morning. It’s after eleven and checkout is at noon.”
I yawn, rubbing my face. “I thought we said we were going to stay here another night?”
“We did, but that was until I saw on the Weather Channel this morning that we’re going to get hit with a hurricane tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.”
“Why are you being a grumpy bear?” I flop down onto my bed, raising an eyebrow at him.
He smirks despite himself, and it’s the reaction I was hoping for. “I’m not being a…grumpy bear.” I love that he just said those words. “I just didn’t sleep well.”
“Too much ETOH will do that my friend.” I lean back on my hands, my legs dangling off the edge of the bed.
“ETOH?”
“It’s the acronym for ethyl alcohol, also referred to as ethanol or drinking alcohol.”
His lips quirk. “You’re a nerd.”
“So said the computer geek. Anyway, I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well last night.” I sit up, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my thighs. His eyes graze down my body before he shifts and looks away. “I guess this means that Key West is out now too?” He nods. “All right. So then where to, kemosabe?”
“You’re a bit of an odd duck, aren’t you?”
“So said the man who used the phrase odd duck.”
“Are you going to keep starting your sentences with, so said the?”
“Maybe.” We’re both smiling now and I think feeling a little better for it. “Give me twenty to shower and pack up. I need some greasy food, and then I’ll drive wherever you direct me. You can nap in the car.”
“Let’s head toward New Orleans. We’ll stop somewhere along the way when you don’t want to drive anymore.”
“That’s a plan, Stan,” I wink, standing up and grabbing a pair of shorts and a vintage Beastie Boys tee out of my bag along with clean panties and a bra. “Are we checked out?” I ask as I move to the bathroom.
“I’ll go take care of it while you shower.”
“Awesome. See you soon.”
I shut the door behind me, strip down and start up the shower. Other than my stomach that feels gross, I don’t feel terrible. Probably due to all the water I drank when I got back here last night. I wash quickly, dress, run a brush through my hair and teeth, and then finish packing everything up.
I’m ready in under fifteen and feeling a lot less nasty.
Ryan is hard at work on his phone, leaning against a large pillar as I approach him. “Ready, sunshine?” I ask once he tucks his phone in his pocket.
“Ready, rainbows,” he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Something feels… off. More than just the impending hurricane. Ryan grabs my bag, and we head out to the valet, who has my car waiting.
We hit the highway quickly, and let me tell you, Florida drivers are insane. They weave in and out of lanes without signaling. Some drive dirt-ass slow, while others speed twenty over the limit. Ryan passes out quickly after we hit up a fast food joint.
Normally I don’t eat that crap, but desperate times and all.
I’m lost in thought, listening to music when I start to see signs for Orlando and Disney World. The familiar burning behind my eyes begins automatically. Eric and I had talked about taking Maggie to Disney World. He wanted to do it that winter, but I wanted to put it off since she was so young. I regret that now. I wish I could have seen her face light up the way I know it would have. I wish I could have seen Eric experience that with her.
I’ve been driving for almost four hours. I need to get out and stretch my legs, but the thought of doing it in Orlando makes me ache. I also have to pee, and I’m stiff as hell and thirsty, and really want to curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. My fingers clasp my necklace as I take the exit for Disney World, wondering if this will prove to be cathartic or counterproductive.
Ryan starts to rouse, lifting in his seat until he’s sitting up again and looking out the window. “Are we stopping?”
“I need to stretch my legs and get something to drink.” My voice is so quiet that I know he won’t miss it.
“I can drive after this for a bit if you want to keep going, or we could stay in Orlando? Go to a park?”
“No,” I say far too quickly. “I want to keep going.”
He looks over at me, but I keep my eyes trained on the road. “You okay?”
I shake my head, swallowing a few times and trying to keep my tears at bay.
“Disney World?” he guesses, and all I can do is nod. “Pull in here, Katie.” He points to a Walmart, and I do as I’m told, parking the car near the front. “Let’s go inside, grab some snacks, stretch our legs, and see what kind of weird shit we can find.”