I wince hating that I’m about to ruin the moment.
“Yeah, about dinner…”
12
Van
“I can’t believe that happened.” Laurel recounts the whole episode and I imagine her trying to wrangle the dog, the door, and the neighbor in one shot.
I start laughing and then I can’t stop. It’s like the universe has conspired against us from the beginning and I’ll be damned if I let it win. Nope. Sorry. Try again because this girl is mine and I’m not giving her back. Even if I have to wait a hundred days more and another hundred after that. I feel committed to this moment entirely, to her, and this burgeoning relationship I never expected. I don’t want to miss out on anything with her.
“Are you laughing? Seriously, Van? I’ve had my dinner pilfered by a man in his eighties and Marley came close to committing murder.” Images of the small yapping dog make me snort attempting to hold back my laughter. I want to ask if he made a contact bite, but I don’t think this is the time for that.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but this whole thing is honestly hilarious. Let me call in another order.” My eyes tear up and I’m wiping my face. I swear I see her lips curve upward, but she’s trying hard to remain so serious.
“After what I just went through? No. I’ll burn my cheap frozen pizza in the oven and drink my sister’s stash of stolen airport bottles of liquor. I thought Marley was going to run out of the building.”
“Terrible, I agree.” I’m nodding and clutching my stomach to keep the laughter in. She looks forlorn on the face time call and all I want to do is hold her and kiss her and shower her with everything I have.
“Alright, you eat whatever and I’ll make something quick.” She props me up in the kitchen against the wall and I’m treated to watching her float around the tight space before hunting in her freezer for the frozen pizza. Her dress skims the back of her legs and I’m adjusting myself out of view.
I swipe an app on my phone and order a delivery of a dozen cupcakes making sure I tip them exorbitantly. I realize it’s extravagant sending multiple delivery people to her door in the midst of a citywide shutdown, but I can’t stomach whatever she’s about to put in the over from a box.
“So what’s for dinner honey?” I ask trying to decipher her attempt at cooking.
“No pizza. My sister must have given it to my niece so it’s garlic bread for me and it looks like red wine and gin.” She holds up two small bottles clinking them together.
“Not at the same time I hope?” I don’t want her to get sick.
“Maybe just the wine then.”
Since my meal is already prepared, I wait for hers to bake. Sure enough twelve minutes later she’s waving a dish towel and clearing out a smoky kitchen. Her garlic bread looks a little chard on one side, but she assures me it’s edible. I don’t believe it.
She stops eating to look at me through the phone. “Why is my door buzzing?” I shrug and wait for her to answer. I hear her yell my name through the phone half angry and half happy. I’ll take it.
“What did you do?”
“Sent dessert over?”
“Van, these are adorable.” She shows me the inside of the box and sure enough a dozen cupcakes topped with fondant rolls of smiling toilet paper are there.
“Not sure if I should eat one. I might need it later.” She laughs, her smile back in full force. So despite an awful dinner and the distance we manage to pull off our date. Laurel puts the cupcakes away and heads into her bedroom a little tipsy from the wine and the quick shot of gin she snuck when she thought I couldn’t see her.
She’ll have a headache tomorrow, but she looks adorable.
“Lay down with me?” I ask and she sleepily nods propping me up on her night stand.
“What’s something you’re afraid of?” Laurel says as I take in her relaxed face and the way she curls her hands under her cheek.
Immediately I answer, “I’m afraid of the dark.”
“No you’re not.” She giggles.
“True, but my brother is. He still keeps a bat by his bed even in his house.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but he’ll kick my ass for telling you.” I wink. “What are you afraid of?”
“Probably everything. My shadow. Failing. Succeeding. Dying a virgin if this thing never ends.”
There’s a lot to unpack in her statement, and I don’t know where to start first besides de-escalating it. I forget I have a few years on her in more ways than just age. She isn’t being coy, this is just her natural disposition.
“I said too much didn’t I? I’m absolute shit at this dating thing.” Laurel’s words slur together as she yawns covering her pink lips.
Her words hit me hard and softly I say, “Baby, I feel like you cocked the chamber of a loaded gun there.”
“It’s true.” She mumbles into her pillow. I’d never let her die a virgin, heck if it made her feel better I’d drive over and pop her cherry now despite how awkward it would be making love to her in her mother’s house.
I want her here with me, and the selfish thoughts come tumbling out before I can hold them back.
“Laurel?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you come stay with me?”
She yawns out loud and murmurs before falling asleep, “But then who would take care of my mother, sister, and niece?”
He eyes flutter shut and I yearn to tuck her in and kiss her forehead. I’m glad she isn’t alone, but I’m beginning to resent her family’s inability to care for themselves excluding the seven-year-old who doesn’t have a choice in this situation. Why did my girl have to be the responsible one?
If I could, I’d wrap her up in silk and kidnap her back to my condo like a pirate. Impossible. Illegal. Immoral and definitely a slew of other things totally wrong, but I’m reaching my limit of patience and fucks to care. More than that, I want her safe and I doubted her family’s ability to keep her that way.
“Laurel? Sweetheart?” I watch the screen for a moment hoping she’ll wake back up. After a few minutes I know she’s out cold. The lines on her face smooth out and I hope her dreams are filled with happy things, fat squirrels, sugary cupcakes, and me. Lots of naked me if I could jump inside her head. I push the top of my laptop down shutting it. There were plenty of other things we could do, experiences we could have, I just needed to be patient.
13
Van
When Laurel suggests a campfire for our next date, I am concerned for the fire codes in her building. What I like about her so much is her unpredictability. For all the playing safe she’s done in her life, she surprises me in these little, yet momentous ways. However, city resources are strapped to the max and the idea of the fire department having to respond to a fire started by roasting marshmallows over a stove seems like a terrible idea. It’s her pouting lips over the webcam that suck me in and agree. I don’t think I’ve consumed marshmallows since boy scout camp, but I’m willing to try.