After he left, Mya turned to me.
“Sorry for making you wait,” she said.
“I don’t mind.” I glanced around the room at Drav, Ghua, and Eden.
“Did you want to talk alone?” Mya asked.
“No. It’s okay. Nothing I have to say is a secret. Mom’s lonely and interested in some company, so she asked me to invite someone over for conversation and dinner. When I started asking, the fey got weird. I just found out that they all think Thallirin is interested in me and that I was asking them to dinner for myself, which freaked them out because they all thought they were stealing Thallirin’s woman. When I tried to explain that Thallirin has no claim on me, they agreed…but only because I’m not eighteen yet.”
Mya frowned slightly.
“I’m sorry. I’m going to blame the pregnancy on this one, but I’m not following. What’s the problem?”
I focused on three slow breaths before answering.
“No fey should be allowed to call dibs on any female. Ever. Unless we truly don’t have a choice.”
“Ah. I see. I don’t think Thallirin has called dibs.” She looked at Drav.
“Dibs means to choose,” he said. “Are you saying no fey should be able to choose? Only the females can choose?”
“No, I mean it needs to be mutual,” I said. “Just because Thallirin likes me, doesn’t mean I need to like him back. And it doesn’t mean that everyone else needs to stay away from me.”
“They must until you’re eighteen.”
I looked at Mya.
“That’s why I’m here.”
“I understand.” She looked at the others. “Would you mind giving us a few minutes to talk alone?”
Drav grunted and Ghua stood.
“I’d like to stay if it’s okay with you,” Eden said.
I shrugged. She’d been my second pick for help, so why not?
Once the men cleared out, Mya sat up a little straighter.
“They mean well,” she said. “Their way of thinking is often so different from ours it drives me insane.”
I breathed a sigh of relief that she really did understand. She plucked at her blanket a moment, and I could tell she was struggling with something. I hated when people didn’t just say what they wanted to say.
“When my mom first found out she’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, it was hard,” I said. “On all of us. It almost tore our family apart because each of us was so worried about sparing everyone else the anguish we were feeling that we kept it all inside. We have a rule now. If you’re feeling something…thinking something…whatever, you just say it. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t pull punches. Just say it. Because most of the problems in our lives stem from misunderstanding and miscommunication.”
Mya smiled slightly.
“I appreciate that more than you know,” she said.
“Good. I’m here asking you to make it clear to the fey that I’m not interested in anyone. And my lack of interest has nothing to do with my age. Pairing up with someone, if it ever happens, will be on my terms, not someone else’s.”
“I agree,” Eden said. “Not everyone wants to be matched up, Mya.”
“I get that. It’s just hard after seeing where the fey are from and knowing they had nothing before this. A stone slab for a bed, a gourd to carry water, and endless darkness. Seeing their delight in learning there’s more to life than they ever knew…it’s hard to take that hope away. And, that’s what I’d be doing when I talk to Thallirin and tell him you have no interest in him.” She exhaled slowly and fidgeted with her blanket again. “Are you opposed to Thallirin because of his looks?”
I thought of the big fey, the scars marring his face and arms, and mentally cringed away from the image. It wasn’t how he looked; it was how he looked at me that was the problem. How could someone look so stoic, yet angry and interested, all at the same time?
“I’ve honestly never looked at any of the fey too closely,” I said. “I knew they’d take it the wrong way if I did, and I didn’t want to cruelly give any of them hope that I would ever be interested.”
“I didn’t think I would ever be interested, either,” Mya said. “Eden, too, I’m betting. But the fey tend to grow on you.”
I stood and zipped my jacket.
“I’ve made my wishes clear. What you do now is up to you. However, if I’m faced with the choice of staying here and being paired up or going to Tenacity, I’ll leave. I won’t be forced to sleep with anyone again.”
“Brenna, that will never happen here,” Eden said quickly. “I won’t let it.”
“And that’s not what I was suggesting,” Mya said, looking pale and shocked. “I only meant that you might change your mind someday.”
Instead of answering, I left. I’d said my piece and made my feelings on the matter quite plain. And, I was more than a little infuriated that Mya was obviously siding with the fey in this.
When I reached the house, I called out that I’d found someone to come to dinner before I retreated to the backyard. Looking at the various targets, I nocked an arrow then let go of my annoyance by releasing shot after shot. I already had excellent aim. What I needed now was speed, too. A lot of it.
My fingers grew sore, as did my arm. Trivial things in the big picture of life faded to a single priority: become better at killing infected. How many more infected could I have taken down if I’d been faster? I shook my head, ridding myself of the useless, self-deprecating thought. The past couldn’t be changed, and I was doing what I needed to do to fix the issue I’d identified.
Not that I’d find myself in a position of needing to rapid-fire at infected ever again. Well, not if we stayed here.
Retrieving the arrows, I looked up at the fey lining the wall. Now that Tenacity’s wall was complete, Tolerance was swarming with fey. I thought again of Matt’s request for volunteers as I turned to retrace my steps.
I paused at the sight of Thallirin standing in the shadows of a tree. My chest and throat grew tight with fear, and I forced myself to breathe calmly. This wasn’t the first time I’d noticed him watching. Before today, I figured it was because I was just an oddity. I mean, all the fey looked at the humans. We were still new to them. Me, more so because of my love of my bow, a weapon they knew how to use, too. Now that I knew the real reason for Thallirin’s attention, that familiar panic tried to pull me under as I met his unblinking gaze.
Mya’s question about disliking him because of his appearance echoed in my head. His scars didn’t make him ugly. They made him as intimidating as hell. There was never even a hint of waver in his hard gaze. Half the time, he looked pissed. The other half, cold and ready to kill. And that was who liked me? No thanks.
Putting the arrows in my quiver, I forced myself to head straight toward him. My approach didn’t change his expression.
“I heard you have me in your sights as a future love interest once I turn eighteen,” I said bluntly. “I’m not interested. It has nothing to do with my age or you, personally. I have no interest in being matched up with anyone. And I’d appreciate it very much if you started stalking someone else.”