Brix shakes his head. “Sorry. Nothing. Not my place.”
I swallow the chunk of food. “If we’re going to be working closely together, and I have to spend one hundred forty-four hours with you a week, you damn well better say whatever you’re thinking or we’re going to be walking on eggshells around each other.”
“I was just thinking for someone who seemingly has everything, your life is kinda …”
“Sad. You can say it. My life is depressing as fuck.”
“Sorry.”
I shrug. “Hey, I chose it. And it’s not all bad. I have money, an awesome house …”
“Evah.”
My gaze flies to his. “Right. I have Evah.”
“How did you two meet?”
“It’s an adorable story.” I put on my public-ready smile because this is a bullshit story I’ve told the press a thousand times. “Back when I was living in Kansas and trying to make it as an artist, she’d come see my shows. Whether it was busking or school dances, she was always there. She was my first fan.”
“Huh.”
“Huh? That’s all you have to say? Everyone loves that story.”
“Everyone loves fiction.”
I frown. “How do you know that story’s not real?”
“I don’t want to give away my secrets.”
“Are you, like, some walking, talking lie detector?”
Brix smiles, and it softens his hard features. “No. But you have a serious tell. Your cheek kinda twitches, and a dimple appears on one side of your face.” His finger almost brushes over my cheek, but he pulls his hand back. “Same thing happened last night when you said Evah snores. Which she doesn’t.”
“How would you know?” My voice rises.
Brix puts his hand up to get me to calm down. “Before I went to sleep, I did a perimeter check and went through the whole house. No snoring.”
“The walls are thick. You probably didn’t hear her.”
“Mm. Maybe.”
There’s a reason I don’t want my new bodyguards to know the truth about Evah and me. I hate stooping to cheap celebrity publicity stunts, and I hate most of all that I’ve had to fight this battle ever since signing with Joystar Records.
Part of me thinks I should come out and tell everyone the rumors about me are true and let the cards fall where they may.
The other part, the business-oriented, music-loving part, reminds me that without my career, I’m nothing.
I’m no one.
I may hate being the Harley Valentine sometimes, but it’s all I have.
A few years ago, I thought I could be more. Have more.
But here I am, eighteen months after my life was supposed to start properly, and I’m still chasing something I can’t reach. I don’t even know what it is. All I know is, I can’t fuck up now.
What’s going to happen when I come out as a gay man?
There are other things at play now other than me and my consequences.
Evah is already seen by the public as some sort of fame whore. If it comes out our whole relationship has been fake, it won’t only destroy me but her as well.
She was a no one when my PR team plucked her from a small town near where I grew up. Now, she’s an online influencer, and one of those people who are basically famous for … well, existing.
Maybe the public has it correct and she’s using me for fame, but I’m using her just as much. It’s why we’ve gotten along so well ever since we met. We don’t lie to each other because we don’t have to. She’s as up-front with me about what she needs as I am with her.
Our romance might not be real, but our friendship is, and I don’t want to fuck that up.
She has a new perfume line coming out, she’s working on one day becoming a fashion designer, and she puts up with so much crap from the public all because of me.
Our relationship made her, but it could also destroy her. Especially if it comes out she’s a beard.
So, no, I’d prefer if my bodyguard didn’t find out my orientation.
Though, with the sleeping arrangements, I think he already suspects.
“Okay, I’ll level with you.” I stand from my bed and get momentarily distracted by Brix’s gaze roaming over my almost-naked form.
Is he … checking me out?
I clear my throat, and then our eyes meet.
“Level with me?” His voice is surprisingly raspy.
“My PR team set Evah and me up. But that’s nowhere near as romantic as the bullshit story they spun for us.”
Brix nods. His gaze travels down again, but then he quickly stops it. Up until this moment, I’ve been getting nothing but straight-guy vibes. Then again, I thought Iris was flirting with me yesterday, and he has a girlfriend.
This is what sex deprivation does to a guy. Next thing, I’ll start thinking Evah’s actually hitting on me.
Brix takes my empty plate off the bed and goes to leave my room, then he looks over his shoulder at me. “Get dressed. We’re going out today.”
“What? No, we’re not. My vocal coach is coming at three.”
“Then we have three hours to get back. Easy.”
“Where are we going?”
“Grocery shopping. I need some things your kitchen doesn’t have.”
“Oh, give me a list. I’ll send Jamie.”
“Nah. It’s time your sheltered ass gets a dose of normal.” He turns to leave.
I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted. “Is this how it’s going to be?” I call after him. “I thought I was the boss of you, not the other way around.”
He spins in the doorway. “I need food. I can’t leave you by yourself. Ergo, you’re coming with me.”
This is a bad idea.
“This isn’t going to work,” I say as I put on the aviators and cap Brix hands me. “Someone will recognize me.”
“Not if you act like a normal person.”
I eye him from his cropped hair to his muscles, tight black T-shirt, and down to his tactical pants. “You don’t think you looking like … that will draw attention?”
“Then everyone will be looking at me, not you.” Brix doesn’t give me a chance to dispute that and opens his car door.
This is going to end in disaster. I can already see it.
If I wasn’t Harley Valentine, all eyes would be on the gorgeousness that is my bodyguard, but I have one of the most recognizable faces on the planet. It’s why I haven’t gone grocery shopping in … well, ever.
I went from my mom’s house to having handlers and assistants who did all that day-to-day stuff for me. So I’ve never actually had to shop for food before.
I meet Brix around the front of his SUV. “Are you sure you’re not doing this because you’re bored already and need to see some adrenaline-inducing action? Iris implied this is not your normal type of job.”
“Do you honestly think you’ll be mobbed in a Safeway?”
“Ooh. This might actually be a fun lesson for you to learn.”
I take off toward the entrance, sensing he’s behind me every step of the way. The doors slide open, and we cross the threshold.
I pause, waiting for the inevitable.